Expats and Holidays

As an expat my holidays are all messed up. I totally forgot today is Labor Day in the states, not that it really matters down here. Monday is going on as normal. Of course, there are no lack of holidays in Brazil.  My kids are constantly getting days of school for things that I don't even understand.

Take this Wednesday for example. It's Brazilian Independence day. Do they have fireworks and all that jazz, no. There are some parades but it's not really done up like we do ours.

Personally I think it's because of the abundance of holidays. When you get half the year off (slight exaggeration) for national, religious, or city holidays they all just seem to run together. It's basically an excuse to escape the city and drink beer in the middle of the day (not that Cariocas really need an excuse to do either).

Still I feel a bit like I am failing my children when it comes to knowing the holidays of their Mother's homeland. We do nothing on American holidays, they think Valentines day is in June, and Grandpa and Daddy have different Father's days. Talk about confusion.

Then you add in Carnaval and conselho de classe (each quarter/semester class is canceled so teachers can have a prep day) and you realize there are about 3 fully functioning work days in Rio de Janeiro.

Anyway, my kids' understanding of all holidays, minus Christmas, is that they are an excuse to miss school/work. Then again, isn't that the essence of holidays in the first place? A day to relax, enjoy, and be with friends and loved ones.

I do wish we could celebrate 4th of July with style down here though. This year I missed good hot dogs, beers, fireworks, obnoxious American Flag clothing items, and the general old fashioned American bbqs. Don't even get me started on potato salad and big dill pickles...

Those of you living abroad, do you ever miss celebrating the holidays of your native land?  If so, which ones?

Party House: Noise like nothing else

The Menace doing his thing on the dance floor

I'm sure some of you are thinking that I'm talking about something cool like a baile funk (funk dance) or a new Rio de Janeiro club. Have you all forgotten that I have 2 children under 5 years of age?

These days my parties are ones that include balloons, even more obnoxious music than electronic, and plenty of screaming children.

I went to one of these parties last night and it was a good one as far as party house parties go. You see, here in Brazil you can rent a house that is fully pimped out to be a kid's dream and a parent's nightmare. It's like sugar and noise on crack. Honestly, I don't know what I would do with myself if they didn't serve beer in these places. Better idea yet, Valium cocktails for parents upon entry!

But the kiddos love it. Hell, what isn't to love. You can jump on everything, climb on everything, all snacks are fried or full of sugar, there are video games, and costumes are almost required. Not to mention the super lame loud children's music, 300 other kids to play with, and plenty of opportunities to lose your parents and freak them the hell out.

I have to say that I secretly do love these parties. While I lament with the other parents, I feel like a big kid while there. I eat absolutely everything. You know when you are choosing your hor d'oeuvres from the waiter's tray and you see an arm dart in, grab something, and disappear? Well, that is my arm. I am that person. It's sad, I know.

Basically you show up at these parties with empty tummies and excited children. You leave said party with exhausted children, a slight beer buzz, a goodie bag, and full tummies (aka. no dinner preparations necessary that night). Not to mention the fact that you get to mingle with other parents as the children are fully occupied.

This girl right here gives Rio de Janeiro party houses a thumbs up as fun for the whole family!
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FYI: I was interviewed by a cool fellow expat Mummy in Provence and she posted it today. Go check it out: http://www.mummyinprovence.com/having-baby-brazil

Virgin Vlogger

Please note that this will not necessarily become a constant thing, so don't be scared. That and I really hope my under eye circles really aren't that bad! Lighting and make up artist please...

And yes, I do need a better camera. 

Hot Brazilians For Your Friday

This is a very naked Izabel Goulart. She was born in the state of São Paulo but is of Italian descent. Once again this only proves that Brazilians need to travel the world and make multinational babies.

Shhhhhh, Marlon Teixeira is sleeping. Word on the street is that he's best known in the modeling world for his bronzed athletic body. I'm going to have to go with them on this one.

Mother-in-Law: Rule of Threes

Brazilian Mother-in-Laws are a form of art. You need to approach them with delicacy, respect, and knowledge. No, you can not expect them to just fall in love with you, especially if you are female. You have to earn it.

The best tip I have ever received about my relationship with my Mother-in-Law came from an Aunt of my husband. People, prepare yourself because this is gold.

It is the rule of 3. You always insist 3 times. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but it is so important that I will mention it again. 

Now the rule of three is in relationship to activities with her. I will give you an example that happened just last night in my very own home. 

Mr. Rant and I had been planning to have a date night. This is a rare occurrence in my home as I don't have a full time maid who babysits and have yet to find a babysitter I trust outside of direct family members. Yes, I can be that anal. 

Anyway, my Mother-in-Law had offered to babysit, tonight actually, and we were supposed to go out. So when Mr. Rant mentioned that his Mother was upset about missing out on lunch with him and that he would like to take her out one evening to make it up to her, I knew where it was going. Of course the only possible evening in the foreseeable future was tonight. 

Given my interesting past with my Mother-in-Law, I have a lot of respect for our now good relationship and have an understanding of what makes her happy. If you think a happy wife equals a happy life than a happy Mother-in-Law gets your name on the list at the doorway to heaven. 

We both brought it up to her and she put her foot down saying "No no, I am babysitting for you tomorrow night."

Rule of 3 people. 

My rebuttal: "No no, you and Mr. Rant NEVER get any quality time. We can go out another night."

Her rebuttal: "No no, you and Mr. Rant never get to go out."

Me again: "Ah, I get to see him every day. We cuddle every night after the kids are in bed. But I'll let you babysit another day."

Her rebuttal... oh wait, there wasn't one. See, I've gotten so good at this point that I'm down to 2! Of course I did mention it to her again today and confirmed with Mr. Rant. Somewhere along the line it became my job to make sure it actually goes down as she never wants to put us out even though she does in fact want some time with her boy. Amazingly her son has yet to figure this out. You'd think he'd speak fluent woman after growing up in a culture like this.

And while some of you may say this is all immature and where is the direct communication, I will merely respond with "so you don't have Brazilian family, do you?"  It's a fact of life and when it comes to your Brazilian Mother-in-Law it is worth it!

Your Brazilian Mother-in-Law is the force in the life around you, like it or not. She cares for your family more than you could possibly understand and if that caring means she has to take you out, she will. Of course only in the name of what is best for your family. 

Keep in mind though, once you start to understand each other there is no better ally. She will have your back better than Captain America and the Hulk combined. Not to mention if a certain husband will not listen to your sound advice, Mother-in-Law will make it happen. 

It really is an amazing thing to watch, especially with mine who is so tiny she could just fit in my pocket. She's a pocket sized Mother-in-Law, conveniently sized to take anywhere.

What Golden Mother-in-Law advice do you have to share?