Tuesday, December 28, 2010

How to Make Money after Christmas in the States

Visiting home is not cheap.  Add to that buyers remorse... Ok, I'm lying. I have no remorse over my purchases but I do wonder how we are going to pay for them.

While credit card companies are so kind, allegedly, I have to pay them back.  So I'm trying to come up with a plan of attack. Here's what I came up with.

What you can do to make money, in Brazil, after blowing all yours in the US:

1.  Sell your kid's new toys.  That $20 toy they got at the after Christmas sale could go for a sweet R$300.  Just tell the kids you lost your luggage.
2.  Blackmail your family with awkward videos/pictures you took during the holidays. Tell them for a small fee, the video or pictures will not be posted online.  Con to this plan, they definitely have equally degrading videos/photos of you.  Think first.
3.  Bring back a suitcase full of Victoria's Secret lotion and sell them in the plaza.  You'll earn money and remember your Portuguese with all the transactions and arguments with the other vendors over you using their corner.
4.  Sell your body.  The extra holiday weight makes the less curvy American style body a bit more bootylicious and the SUPER white skin makes you exotic. Ok, maybe not true but it's a theory.
5.  Rent your new adult toys out to your friends. Not the kinky ones, that wouldn't sanitary.
6.  Get a second job to pay crap off.  Then again, you live in Brazil. If you worked two jobs, when would you go to the beach? Drink chopp? BBQ? Priorities people.
7. Go on a game show!

Well, that's all I got.  Can you guys think of any better ideas?


  1. Honey - aside from #1 -- it's of course totally backward. You buy in Brazil and pay in the US.

    Nobody makes real money here - unless they have their nose in the trough.

  2. Play mega cena? But we all know those odds.

  3. Yes, I know. That is the problem. Just going to have to try a little jeitinho ;)

  4. There is always your old Nike Shox that goes for a mere 650 Reais in Brazil and you can buy it here for 90 bucks ;)
    I know some people will sell blood to get their hands on one of those...


  5. Really, I'm with you on the kid's toys. My son asked Santa, time after time, for a Woody boneco (from Toy Story)...I couldn't avoid this one...so I popped R$156.00 to fulfill his wish, but to my surprise, this retails in the US for $43.84..so, I didn't feel that ripped off. In fact a few things I bought him this year "appeared" to be closer to acceptable than in previous years. Is this a preview of things to come? Will *good* wine someday soon be available at a reasonable price? I AM getting excited! Hopeful at least!

  6. Wow, what a mind! Somehow 3,4,5,6 could go together...but that's not sanitary, among other things.

  7. If only blogging could pay (sigh)...Have a great and wonderful 2011!!!

  8. There's always money in the banana stand.