My youngest and his Great-Grandparents
This weekend we have the spreading of the ashes of Mr. Rant's Grandmother. Even though she passed last December she has been in on our minds, especially this week.
I can't shake my thoughts of her and the family that surrounded her.
Given Mr. Rant's family and I have had our trials and tribulations. That, in fact, doesn't even begin to explain the Brazilian soap opera of the relationship we've had. Although I think all foreigners married to a Brazilian go through this feeling at one point or another.
But that is what my overly romanticized brain is circling. Regardless of my or their reactions, we remain a family. There is no silent treatment or overt smack-talking. You have your disagreements and your history. It's a fact of life. That only makes the relationship stronger.
I have gone through hell and back with my husband's family. We have experienced events, such as Mr. Rant's near death experience, that most families never do. None-the-less, we are together.
In some blogs they may warn you about marrying a Brazilian. You are marrying their family. It's no lie. As one person told me, there's no such thing as an ex-Mother but there is an ex-wife. I swear on my old collection of US Magazines, that was a true statement!
But there is an unsaid beauty to it. They are your family as well. If you are willing to own them as they own you, you will never face something alone. Ok, I can't say that but they will show up eventually and they will give you a force you never expected.
As I grow older I think of that damn cliché of a song, Wear Sunscreen.
Honestly, there's so much good advice there. At 30 it's like the rules of how to live. And Brazilians own it. They dance, they don't worry about their body (or if they do they still manage to enjoy the one they have), they know their parents, they keep their friends, and they love their siblings.
They also listen to the stories of their elders. My husband adores talking to his 93 year old Grandfather and taking pictures of him with his Great-Grandchildren. The Grandmother fills us in on their life stories and how to keep a marriage together. FYI: She says the key is having sex with them every time they want it. ?!
This connection between the ages and the interactions between all members of a diverse group of family are two of my favorite things about living in this country. I also feel it's the best thing I've given my children as a Mother. I have given them their history, a culture of a people, and stories to tell to their children. What else is there?
