Happy Birthday to Me!

Classy from a young age

Since it is my birthday I thought I would make this blog post totally 100% about me. It is my birthday after all.

So here you go!

Things you didn't know about me:

15. I like to call men's underwear panties.

14. I'd move to Europe in a minute if we could.

13. One of my favorite places in Brazil is Buzios.

12. I would so get a boob job if anesthesia didn't scare the crap out of me.

11. I hate whistling. If you want to annoy me, you now know how to do it.

10. I can play a mean game of Super Trump (super trunfo in Portuguese)

9. I have an endlessly empty stomach, especially for junk food. You should see me at Brazilian children's bday parties. This will bite me in the ass eventually.

8. I LOVE cottage cheese. Love it, would roll in it, and would eat it daily (with celery salt of course).

7. I hate celebrating my birthday with a big birthday party. Makes me weirdly uncomfortable. I like to keep the day low key.

6. I was once told by a tattoo artist that I have perfect skin for tattoos.

5. With both of my children, my left armpit smelled seriously rank at the beginning of my pregnancy. It was actually why I suspected my second pregnancy.

4. I have a weird thing about picking at my nails. I can't help it. I'm super fidgety and they get the brunt of it.

3. My brothers' nickname for me as a kid was Poop.

2. I hate bugs. Love the outdoors but hate the bugs that come with them. By the way, the bugs in Rio are on crack! Not fun.

1. I  have to sleep with one foot out from under the blanket. Oh, and no socks! 

Who Says You're the Black Sheep?!

The problem with self-proclaimed titles is that people usually don't agree with them.  I'd have to say that was the case this weekend.

The whole reason behind going to Buzios was to do a send off to the Grandmother who passed last December. She has essentially been potted in a beautiful pot below a lovely little bush. It's her spot in her garden where her lover of over 20s can go and talk to her. Him or anyone else who needs the ear of our lovely Grandmother.

Of course a couple of self-proclaimed black sheeps did not show up. They could not be bothered to go on a fully sponsored weekend trip to Buzios, transportation included. Oh yes, the fabulous Grandmother was so loved that we even had a sponsorship to send her off in style.

And when you consider yourself the "black sheeps" of the family, you obviously can't go. No no, that would require you to think about someone other than yourself. I'm sorry but my experience with so-called black sheeps is that they are usually Debbie Downers who spend too much time thinking about themselves.

Yes, family can be a bitch sometimes and no they will not agree with everything you do. Oh and let's not forget that most of them will also let you know they they don't agree. But this pretty much goes for everyone besides the self-proclaimed Golden child who wouldn't bother listening in the first place. Gold makes you hard  of hearing, it's just how it is.

Oh the charms of family.

Now, when you are repeatedly invited to the spreading of the ashes of the heart of the family, you go. If you really were the black sheep no one would call you. Did you not get the memo on what a black sheep really is?

This is especially annoying when the black sheep seem to attack the ones who love and care about them the most. Case in point, the passed Grandmother and her visiting sister, the tiavó (means Great Aunt but literally translates as Aunt-Grandma, which fits Brazilian family style much better.) These women are the head of the family! If we were Mafia, the passed Grandma could put a hit out on them from the grave. That's how high up she and her sister are!

So freaking hell, pull the stick out of your ass and pay respect to the elders! They are the ones who truly miss your presence, as we younger ones lack the understanding they have for your temperamental personalities.  We also lack the patience for these little games. We're grown-ups now. If you are going to pout and stay home, you are going to be the one missing out and no one is going to lose sleep over it.

And no, they didn't come. We youngsters were even holding out hope that they'd show up on their own. But no, they couldn't be bothered to show respect for a woman who took care of them, opened her home to them, many MANY times paid for them, and loved them more than they will ever love themselves. Hell, they couldn't even bother to show up and wish happy Mother's Day to the Mothers of their family.

Nope, these cousins dropped the ball big time and it left a stain in my book.

Then again, I'm not one to throw a pity party for the overly-sensitive. Just ask my family. Actually, maybe you shouldn't say anything to my family as they think I am the over-sensitive one. Definitely don't ask our self-proclaimed black sheep! He's still not talking to me because of the whole Christmas blog post.

Ah well, a family wouldn't be family without self-proclaimed titles. What's yours? You know you have one! 

Buzios: Go There!

Ms. Bardot in Buzios

I'm not a sun worshiper by any means... Ok, maybe that's not the truest of true statements. Let's just say that I love a good morning at the beach followed by a big lunch followed by a little more beach.

And while that is just not possible in Rio de Janeiro, it is so possible in Buzios! Alright, again maybe not totally true about Rio de Janeiro but as locals we just don't do it.

But in Buzios it's quaint  beach vacation mode all the way! Hell, if Brigitte Bardot put the city on the map you really can't go wrong with going there, can you!

I will also say straight out that the best beach is Geríba! You can not go wrong with it, unless it's high tide but that's just nature. On a normal day the water is perfect for big and small children alike. Think shallow and waves very far from where the kids play. The sand is wet and packed down so sand castle and tunnel construction is golden.

And for the Non-children owning adults and the spenders, you can sit at a table and get drinks and snacks. Oh yes, the ease of Rio de Janeiro without the congestion (except for holidays and/or weekends during the summer).

I absolutely adore my days at that beach and we conveniently know someone who owns a house close to Geríba. Oh the beauty in it all! But this weekend, seeing that the family went, we had to pousada it. I have to say that this is the first time I've been able to recommend a pousada in Buzios (or Rio for that matter) and I think it's a good one.

While on the pricey side, and still very much a Brazilian pousada, it was very nice. The rooms are unique and clean, the decor pleasing to the eye, and there is wireless internet (not that you'll ever use it but it's there). They also have, bless them, good mattresses and pillows! Hell, they brought in two proper kiddie beds for our kids! I was like, holy hell an easy place to take a child.

Keep in mind that it is up a hill and a bit more of a trek to the beach. A little bit of a bitch but it also means the view is amazing. If you want to check them out: www.casacolina.com.br

FYI: They are not paying me for this review nor do they actually know I'm doing it. Now that I think about it, I'm a bit of a fool for not saying something. Ah well. If they ask, tell them I sent you. Maybe if enough people show up saying something about Rachel and Ranting they'll be curious enough to Google me.

So keep Buzios in mind. While we went with great company, you could totally pull of a good trip to this city with obnoxious people! If that annoying in-law or boyfriend of a friend is coming to visit, take them to Buzios. It's such a nice place you won't care who is there with you!

Hell, I think that should be the city's new motto.

View from the pool at the pousada