Friday, March 25, 2011

Oops I Missed a Rite of Passage

I didn't get my wedding. I have never danced in a white dress with my husband in front of our friends and family. Hell, when we married I hadn't even met his friends and family.

It was a true whirlwind and it's a great story.

But I find myself sometimes missing that rite of passage.  It's strange considering that I never really imagined my wedding as much as I imagined being married with children. I've never thought of colors or bridesmaids. Hell, picking out a maid of honor seems like a sure fire way to just piss people off.

Still, I find myself thinking about having my Father walk me down the isle. That is one part that I truly miss from the whole wedding fiasco. Call me a traditional girl, but I want my Daddy to give me away.

It does not help that I'm at 7 years of marriage and my Father is not getting any younger. I, however, am getting younger every year. It's amazing how that works out.

While Mr. Rant and I have always planned to have a spiritual wedding and reception, life has gotten in the way.  We have a mortgage and children, and it's not like we can expect my parents to shell out money for the costs. Hello, cow sold and bought here.

We are planning to have this wedding though. Apparently it's supposed to happen on our 10th anniversary. We made that plan on our 3rd when it seemed so far away.

Regardless, I'm holding onto the idea of a wedding on our 10th anniversary.  This is Brazil and it's ok to throw something together last minute, aka. 8 months or so before the event. Since the idea is to have it in the country, surrounded by nature, it shouldn't be an issue.

That's right, my husband is a retired Pagan and we will have our wedding in the woods.  Actually, he would like a Shamanic wedding. Since I've never had an actual had a plan for mine, I really shouldn't mind.  That's his theory anyway.  I may never have considered what mine would be like but, then again, I never imagined that I would get married circa Cowboys and Indians.

Honestly, I don't mind at all. I think it'll be one hell of an experience!

The thing I find funny is that I'm holding onto this tradition. After so many years of a successful marriage and partnership, I still feel the need to display it in front of our family and friends.  For the first time in my life I can imagine myself in "the dress" dancing with Mr. Rant in front of all our loved ones.

Where did that come from?! I blame hormones.

Then again, in a world where 50 % of the marriages fail, communication is being limited to 140 characters, and people buy spouses online, wouldn't it be nice to celebrate a couple that has made it this far?

With all our ups and downs, life lessons, and baby making I feel like showing off a little. We still love each other. We actually enjoy each others company. And we would like to sign up for more.

That and I would like for him to know how proud I am to be his wife.  Goodness knows that I haven't said it nearly enough in our marriage. Then again, can you?

Which rite of passage sticks with you the most, if any? 


  1. I hope you do it!
    save some money in a special "wedding account" every month for 3 years and you will have a great party!
    your kids will be your "pajens" :)

  2. A friend of mine had her wedding in Floresta da Tijuca. It was beautiful and would definitely fit the bill of "in the woods". As far as a rite of passage - giving birth, without question!

  3. Open a pig. Just do it. It works.

    How about this Bahia beach location?

    My guess is the staff will look after the boys while you renew your vows -- ;-)

  4. Rachel,

    I think a wedding is right up at the top when it comes to right of passage, for me, it was Gil and I getting married last year, no party, just the two of us. ;)
    We also want to have a wedding party for our friends and family when we come to Brazil for good!


  5. How about the first time one gets dumped? A right of passage hardly mentioned but pretty significant I would say.

  6. You should definitely have a wedding! I bet your boys would love being a part of it. My brother and I thought it was the coolest thing in the world to be in our parents weddings when they got remarried. My brother was six when our Dad got remarried and he begged to wear a tuxedo. I just wanted a bouquet to carry. And what a wonderful opportunity for them to see their parents formally declaring how much they love each other.