Brazil Counters France in Parenting Style

For all you not reading the required obsessive literature on how to raise your children correctly, and simultaneously making yourself feel inadequate, you may not realize the current hip method is comparing yourself to the French.   

I found this brilliant article: Why American Kids Are Brats by Judith Warner and it really hit home. The theory is that French children more polite, follow instructions, and generally treat other people with greater respect. 

And that comes directly from being taught, from the earliest age, that they’re not the only ones with feelings and needs.

And she hits more nails on the head:

American parents assiduously strove to make sure that their children’s wants and needs came first, no matter what. This sometimes had a name — “advocating for your child” — and was clearly predicated on the belief that if you didn’t yourself do it, didn’t teach your child to “self-advocate,” no one would, and in the great stampede for resources and rewards your child would get left behind in the dust.

I find that learning that the world does not revolve around you is something that most of us Americans have difficulties with post High School. That trip to "find ourselves" by living out of a backpack and getting drunk on foreign alcohol or informing our parents that we need the "college experience" and thus they have to pay upwards of $20,000 a year for us to live in a dorm room. There is a sense of entitlement that our own parents are guilty of giving us.

Brazil is different. While all classes are heavily guilty of doting on their children, it is mainly with snacks and a lack of boundaries. But there is a beauty behind the method of madness here. Brazilian children are raised to be flexible. They will go with the flow at an adult party, finding something to play with. Except for in the upper classes, you will not see a Mother pull an ipad out of her purse, many times they don't even bring toys. The children are expected to find a way to amuse themselves. Normally they end up playing with other children in the same situation. 

It makes me wonder. Is my preparedness for my childrens' needs actually continuing this expectation that their whims should and must be met first? Unlike French parents, I almost always carry water just in case my boys get thirsty on the street. I usually have a small back up toy available in my purse for both. And I rarely push them to go to something that they openly don't want to.

Then I think, does it really matter anyway? Honestly, is my son going to become an ass when he grows up because his Mother could produce water upon request while at the park? Doubtful. It is also doubtful that he'll feel more loved. Basically he'll just not be thirsty at that given moment. 

Regardless, I do find that, while obviously different from France, Brazilian children are also taught some social graces. While I doubt they compare to the politeness of a little Parisian lad, Brazilian children are more casually comfortable socializing with adults. 

In Brazil children kiss all members of the family on the cheek and give a personal hello and goodbye. That means that at a family lunch my children, even the 3 yr old, will go around and give each of the 20 some odd people their a kiss and say hello. This is a cultural habit that I have personally enforced because I liked the idea of my boys giving that direct attention and learning that one must jump through some social hoops to make others happy.

This is something you would never see stateside. As a child I would walk into the home of a friend and maybe give a little wave but that was all. The expectation of a personal hello and having a casual chat with the grown ups is fabulous. Between this and the required sharing of all toys at the parks and beaches, I find that Brazilian children interact better with each other and adults than their American counterparts. 

All in all, I can not say that I would ever be capable of parenting as the French. I just really don't see the big deal in sitting in my childrens' room for 10 minutes as they go to sleep. I really really don't see how forcing them to sit and clean their plate does any sort of good. Of course that comes from a person who as a child that didn't eat onions nor tomatoes until she was in her 20s. Proud to say that I now LOVE both of them. 

Anyway, I do feel though that raising my children in Brazil has pushed me off the normal track of American parenting. Although it may have been towards the opposite side of the spectrum from the French, it's still getting the job done. I believe that we can all learn from how people in other places raise their children.

What about you? How do you raise your children? What rules are a must? And would you change your parenting style based on a book?

10 Things I like Better: USA vs Brazil

I found this awesome post idea from a cool expat blog called A Suitcase and Stilettos. I thought I would take a go at the list.

Things I Like Better in the USA:

1. Mexican food. Mexican food in Rio de Janeiro is usually crap and overpriced. It's such a sad Mexican food situation down here that I get excited over wannabe store bought tortillas and Old El Paso spice packets I receive in the mail.

2. The parking spots. I can hardly park a small car in a large American spot, I am totally useless here. Parallel parking skills are so good in this country that Brazilians should be allowed to list it on their resume. "Brazilian Parallel Parker"

3. Couches. You all saw what I went through for my couch. I do love it and it is really comfortable but I have to say it can not beat American couches. In the US we have fabulous soft, fluffy, comfy and sleep inducing couch options you just can't really find here. Of course it may be because it is cold there, we sit on our asses much more than Brazilians, and that we need softer couches that will allow for the spread of our ever growing ass. Whatever it is, they are far more comfortable up there.

4. Candy. Seriously candy isles are a freaking a joke down here. The tiny little "normal" sized candy bar is the size newborn American babies eat. Give me a break and get this girl a real candy bar!

5. Moisturizers. I chalk this up to personal preference due to growing up there. I just find that the body and face moisturizers are nicer in the US. That and they are less expensive.

6. The toy selection. Toys for my kids are SOOOO much cheaper at home. Hell, anything for my kids is cheaper at home. I end up using the vast majority of my suitcase space for kids stuff like future bday presents, clothes to grow into, and shoes.

7. Milk. I do have a brand I like in Brazil now (leitisimo or something like that) but it still isn't the same. I go on a milk binge everytime I visit. Maybe it's all the chemicals pumped into our cows like water. Maybe it's the fact that our milk isn't made to hold for a year on a ridiculously hot shelf in a Brazilian kitchen. I don't know what it is but I have no problem killing a gallon of American milk in the 5 days before it spoils in the fridge.

8. Floss. This is a weird one and I totally blame Mr Rant. He got me into this thin wax floss stuff from Colgate or something. I have to say, it is now my favorite and you can not find it here.

9. Selection. The one good thing about being a somewhat heartless consumer country is the selection. There is a seriously large selection of anything and everything in the US. Hell, look at #8's floss preference. That kind of preference comes from a selection spoiled person. I mean, it's freaking floss, how different can it be?... but it sooo is.

10. The bacon. The bacon here is a little too fatty, too few per package, and too expensive for my bacon taste. I miss the neatly sliced rows of American bacon with the perfect proportion of fat to fat meat and all at a fair American price.

What about you? What do you like better in your Native country? 

Yemanjá Day

I heard about Yemanjá one of my first visits to the beach here in Rio de Janeiro. I was wearing some new earrings and my Mother-in-law suggested that I be careful when I entered the water. It wasn't because she feared that I would drown. Instead she informed me that Yemanjá loves jewelry, as any woman does, and has no qualms about taking ours off as an unofficial offering.

A couple weeks later a foreigner friend of mine joined the family and I at the beach. She went into the water and came out shocked. She was surprised that she had lost her bracelet. She never took it off and it had never come off anywhere before. My Mother-in-law smiled and said "Yemanjá must have liked it too."

It was a curious introduction to the goddess and one that sparked a discussion. Why would she be able to do this here and not in other oceans? Why does she have such a presence here and not elsewhere?

My Mother-in-law broke it down into something simple for us foreigners. She has power where people believe in her. Brazilians believe in her.

I have to say that I have never been one to give much credit to this kind of thing. That being said, you feel a different energy here and, if eyes are open enough, see things differently.

While I don't necessarily believe that there is a goddess of the ocean, I do respect the feeling behind it. She is a source of feminine strength in a machismo country. She controls the very thing many Brazilians adore, the ocean.

Have you had any personal experiences with the story of Yemanjá or with her personally?

Expat Adaptation and American Haters

A reader of mine, Marcio, asked two interesting questions in the comment section of my post  I Love my Gyno. No, they are not questions about my vagina, gyno, nor anything else related.

1. When does an Expat start feeling Brazilian, does your Brazilians friends/family consider you a Brazilian? 

I have been in Rio de Janeiro for 6 consecutive years now and I do not consider myself a Brazilian. I'm not. I'm American, born and raised. And that isn't a pride thing for my country but a stated fact. Of course I have picked up Brazilian traits. Hell, I even eat using a knife and a fork. I think Americans would string me up for that one.

There is always a need to compare how at home you are because Brazil is quite different. I do feel at home. I started feeling at home when I started understanding why and how things work here. A big part was being able to communicate with people and completing tasks without having to ask for help. When I went into small claims court and started the process of suing a company all by myself, well that made me feel pretty damn adapted! Keep in mind I also celebrated the first time I managed to order a pizza over the phone as well.

I find that Brazilians love to call foreigners Brazilians. My immediate reaction is to say "I'm a Carioca at heart." That is a true statement for me. I love a lot of the ways here. I feel at home in Rio. That being said, I still have days where I want to get on the next damn plane out of here. See, still a foreigner.

As for the family, they started considering me a Brazilian when I stopped being the quiet one at family lunches and actually became a part of them. That was the first sign. The other part that seems to amaze them is my raising my kids here. I don't know what aspect of it amazes them but they seem to be pretty pleased that I manage it.

2. I don't want to start a fight so if anti-americanism in Brazil is off-topic just ignore please. I think there is a little anti-americanism in Brazil most due to historical reason (search "brother sam operation" and you see what I mean) and bit of jealous mixed with back-slash but I always thought that brazilian would connect to you on a individual level - like bad mouth US government and politics for half an hour and them invite you for dinner with hi/her family...

I have dealt with my fair share of anti-americanism here. One evening I had to sit across from some ass at a bar wearing a shirt that said I (with two planes) and a picture of the World Trade Center on it (a horrible play on the I heart NY shirts). It was very difficult to not throw my glass at his head.

I generally avoid going into politics and such here as Americans are blamed for everything. We are blamed for the wars we start and at the same time the ones we refuse to get involved with. We started the Brazilian military dictatorship.  Actually, we have appointed all dictators in South America.... Bad example as it is quite possible that the US did. Anyway, I have had people talk to me as if I have the power to make a call and end a war. Sorry, it doesn't quite work like that.

Of course these bad experiences have a tendency to overshadow the good. Generally I have been welcomed regardless of my nationality. Pretty much, even if criticizing, Brazilians have been like you suggested "bad mouth US government and politics for half an hour and them invite you for dinner with hi/her family". 


At any rate it isn't that important. I am not overly sensitive with the hating the US thing.


How about you guys?

Do I Look Fat in this Thong?

It seems that Brazil's expanding waist size is getting international press. Apparently Brazilian companies are, gasp, making larger bikinis!! Oh the insanity of it all. 

I stumbled upon this random article discussing how Brazilian bikini companies are finally making plus sizes. 

A growing number of bikini manufacturers have woken up to Brazil's thickening waistline and are reaching out to the ever-expanding ranks of heavy women with new plus-size lines.

I can not deny that Brazil is getting fatter as it seems the entire world is. What I can say though is that the selling of "plus size" bikinis is not necessarily because of that. In my humble opinion, someone has finally jumped in to make mega money in an area where there has always been a demand but very little supply. 

When I walked into my first bikini shop in Rio I almost had a heart attack. The things the woman kept giving me to try on were obviously not my size. Hell, I was losing money on both sides on the bottom (losing money is a slang for your crack showing). 

That is when the saleswoman so graciously pulled the bottom up my bottom. She exclaims "This is how you wear it" with a laugh. 

"Excuse me, isn't this essentially the same as a thong???"

You could see the poor stupid gringa looks spread throughout the store. Silly American doesn't know how a bikini bottom really should fit. 

Thankfully things have been slowly but surely changing. I noticed, shortly after the birth of my oldest, that there were more slightly larger bikini options.  Keep in mind that these "larger" bottoms would still make most N. Americans blush.  

I am a proud owner of a couple of pairs of these great fitting "larger" bikini bottoms. My beach style has gotten far more active with the kiddos. Goodness knows no one wants to get an eyeful of kitty while building a sandcastle. 

The thing is not all Brazilian women look like Gisele or The Girl from Ipanema. Media always posts pictures of the women who do because, let's be honest, they are ridiculously hot. But the fact is that Brazilian women have junk in the trunk. They are gorgeously curvy. We have all kinds of shapes and sizes happening down here and that is nothing new. 

While Brazilians have always accepted women of all shapes and sizes, it seems they are only now willing to dress them as well.

The Brazilian ATM Dance

I get performance anxiety at the ATMs here. Seriously. Every single time.

You see Brazilian banks have a rule, you mess up your pin 3 times and they block your card. That means long bank lines, documents, and all that bank fun just to get it unblocked.

Thus I always get ATM stage fright the moment I step up to start the withdrawal process. Performance anxiety is a bitch, though having it at an ATM instead of other places is not a bad thing. Thankfully for me, and not Mr. Rant, it doesn't keep me from my mission.

Of course once I miss my pin the first time, it gets significantly worse.  It's always that moment that I'm rushing somewhere and realize that I have no cash for the subway or whatever it is I'll need it for. I rush to a machine and put in my pin without thinking. That's where they get you, or me anyway.

INCORRECT

Oh shit. I seriously get the oh shit face and almost want to bang my head against the machine. That means 2 more tries. I'm now questioning what my actual pin is. Breath.

That's what I do, I breath and attempt to remember the last 2 digits. The first 4 are no problem as you use them every single time you make a purchase with your card, but the machine requires 6. Those last two numbers are like those distant cousins you see at the occasional family reunion but you still can never seem to remember their names.

Breath.

Seriously, I'm that lame that I have to stand for a second before I put in my pin and breath. My full pin slowly slips back into memory. In my defense, between all the sliding in and out repeatedly, pull it out slower, please leave it in a minute, etc etc it's a wonder how a girl remembers her first name... the ATM card you dirty bastards! 

The Poor Brazilian Man

Oh the poor Brazilian man. You are always the object of debate or fascination. You are called charming and untrustworthy. We foreigner women hate your blatant attention and yet complain when we aren't receiving it. You can never win! Wait, or do you always win?

The Brazilian man can openly compliment not one or two women but all of them. And they aren't necessarily being inggenuine. They just love ALL women. Honestly, part of me buys this. Just look at the kilo restaurants Rio de Janeiro is famous for. Nothing a Brazilian likes more than being able to go in and try a little bit of every kind of something.

I started thinking about this after reading an article in the Huffington post. In it the writer goes over why she has lost her sexy mojo when it comes to Brazilian men. They just don't compliment her as much. One of the possible reasons being because she darkened her hair. That or because she is "giving off an inaccessible vibe."

I could see that but not in the way that she is thinking. The Brazilian man is not deterred easily. They are persistent if anything. What changes after being here a while is that you stop hearing it. It is kind of like the noise of the city, you get used to it after a while. The "linda" (beautiful) and the obnoxious hisses start to blend in with the fruit guy yelling about bananas, the traffic, and general people movement.

Though I can give you some advice if you want to notice the attention again. Get pregnant. I'm dead serious. While I am not the favorite body type of the Brazilian man, while pregnant I was harassed more than a woman would be walking around naked. I'm telling you, at least Carioca men seemed inappropriately turned on by my baby belly. I couldn't go anywhere, ANYWHERE, without being aggressively whistled at, linda-ed, and hit on.

What do you think, is a pregnant woman that sexy or is it just a Brazilian thing?  

Getting to Know Rocinha

I'm sure everyone is curious about my thoughts on our visit with Zezinho in Rocinha. This week is going to be very difficult to dedicate the time that this kind of post needs. To hold you over until then, I give you two mini-videos of Zezinho giving you some interesting facts about life in Rio's largest favela.

Don't worry, I will soon be busting out a serious post about yesterday's visit, all I saw, and all Zezinho taught us. Tomorrow I will post some choice photos for Wordless Wednesday.

Calling Home Made Easy

My Mother was very supportive about my move to Brazil. Who knew that support came with a cost, her cost. Regardless of my living outside of the country, she just couldn't drop our semi-daily phone conversations. Once I started reproducing the phone conversations became daily.

Now call me an old fashioned girl but I like a nice chat on the phone. Sure there's skype and a bunch of other options, but it just isn't the same. I can't pace in circles while chatting on skype or binge snack. It's kind of weird/gross with people watching you. Don't even get me started on how I can't skype and go to the bathroom. That's just down right frustrating. You turn on the facet and they still know what you are doing...

That is when Ray at American Heart, Brazilian Soul saved the day! Turns out that Ray and my Mom became besties via Facebook chat and he told her about buying a Brazilian phone number. Say what?! Now I don't know how the entire process works. That is where Ray comes in. He is the genius behind this new knowledge! Go check out his post on it: Global: we are huge fans

This is a must have for families of Brazilian expats! It is seriously awesome! My Mom emailed me one day with a Brazilian number and told me to call her. And it was a Rio land line!

So I called the number and got a Brazilian recording in English with a HORRIBLE accent. That is the added bonus as I laugh every single time I listen to it. It says: Press onie for Mooms cell. Press Twoo for Mooms Hoom. etc. By the way, in case you are a little slow this morning like me, I was writing phonetically.

Anyway, I just wanted to personally thank Ray. Now I can easily call Mom without it costing her or me an arm or leg.

Go learn how to get your own: American Heart, Brazilian Soul

Sponges and Soap?

So one little comment on my Bilingual kids post awesomely diverted all the attention away from the actual post. I was going to join in with the comments but instead decided to give this question my utmost attention:

"Totally off topic (sorry) but do Brazilian people use loofah sponges (those round fluffy things) when they shower or just their hands? I always hear that brazilians smell good so I want to know what to ide :D?"

In my days in Rio de Janeiro, I have seen very few loofah sponges in peoples' homes. Then again, I'm married so I have been in very few "foreign" showers if you know what I mean. 

They do have these sponges here. They give them away for free with liquid soap sometimes. The thing about them though is that they mold due to the humidity in our bathrooms. Hell, it's almost humid in our fridges, you can only imagine how warm, moldy, and nasty the bathrooms can get if you don't stay on top of them. 

Anyway, from what I have seen, via the one Brazilian I am showering with, they use their hands to wash. The good smell comes from their constant showers. At least in the big cities it seems that Brazilians always shower daily. You may say, who doesn't, but I can name plenty of Americans who openly don't. I suppose it's a chilly/dry skin factor.

When it comes to summer, and even in the "winter", Brazilians shower more than once a day. Hell, if my husband takes a bus, he showers when home. It is one of his Neurosis. Even I have adopted the twice a day shower, although I use one as a rinse off and one staring soap. My mental count has Brazilians taking an average of 3 showers on a hot day. 

Seriously, Brazilians are shower freaks. It's so bad that pediatricians are making a effort to "educate" parents about how it's bad for the skin to wash with soap more than once a day. Duh. 

My question is, why no washcloths. You'd think that shower obsessed people would fall in love with the mini-towels of my country. Is it another mold issue or do washcloths actually suck?

What to Remember When Raising Bilingual Children

So The Menace started out well with speaking English to my parents. The first day they got here, my almost 3 year old used all of his weak English vocabulary mixed in with Portuguese when needed. Come the second day he was over it.

I tried.  I told him "Menace, we have to speak in English to Grandma and Grandpa because they don't speak Portuguese."

All I got in reply: "NO, Portuguese."

Well, it seems that my little "bilingual" man is stating his preference for the time being. It doesn't bother me as 1. I know he'll end up speaking both and 2. I know that this kind of thing is normal. It may just be karma for Chatterbox's language choices. At 3 yrs old, when he finally picked up English fluently during a visit to the US, The Chatterbox declared his love for all things English. While Portuguese was his first spoken language, he refused to speak it to anyone in Brazil who he realized spoke a spattering of English.

It's just a fact of life that you have to accept a few things when raising bilingual children:

1. They will have a language preference. It will change many times but at any given point they will feel more comfortable talking in one or the other. Sometimes it comes down to feeling more comfortable talking about a certain subject in a certain language. For example, Chatterbox prefers talking about soccer in Portuguese

2. Sometimes bilingual children will have language delays. Sometimes they won't. Chatterbox was a bit of a late talker and the Menace was a very late talker. Both never stop now that they have started. On the other hand, I have friends whose kids spoke both languages at the same time as the "unilingual" kids. Be patient. Each child is different.

3. There will be language mixing. Do you really expect your child to be able to separate the two at a young age? Their little brains are alike a bowl of 2 servings alphabet soup. You try to sort that out without mixing a bit.

4. Ignore the "warnings" that two languages are too much for a little guy to learn. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard and I heard it every single freaking day after the Chatterbox was born and I insisted on only speaking with him in English. They do not get confused, it does not harm them, and it is actually very good for them. Only when Chatterbox, at 3 years old, started speaking both languages fluently did the family admit that it was ok to do. Now they brag about how Mr. Rant and I were so smart in raising their grandchild bilingual.

5. Even if they do not reply to you in the language you are speaking, keep speaking to them in it. Both my boys completely understood English before actually speaking it. One day it literally clicked and they started busting out phrases in English, both after being stimulated by immersion in new English speaking situations (ie. visiting my parents or my parents visiting us).

What tips or questions do you have?

Brazil: Sir Mix A Lot's Lost Home: Rio de Janeiro

Today's Brazilian Hotties for your Friday got me thinking about Brazil and asses. In this country there is a true appreciation for those rear cushions, and is a source of pride among the owners of them.

It isn't just genes people, although the full ass really is. Seriously, big asses are as common in Brazil as silicone in LA only they aren't always purchased. Hell, even the mannequin at a lot of stores have an ass that would rival Coco's!

The thing is, Brazilians like a little meat. Sure they'll take a skinny girl in during a storm, but they search out a birthing woman to run the home. I'm not really sure if that is because of the beef or because of the sass that seemingly comes with these Brazilian women. Don't get me wrong, Brazilian men need a certain amount of Sass to keep them in their place, or at least remind them where it is when they get lost.

All and all it comes down to the concept of beauty. From my first day here I respected the fact that Brazilian men would hump the leg of all kinds. In all blunt honesty though, I got hit on a lot in the states and not very much in Brazil. Too skinny, too tall, and too lean. Hey, thank goodness I wasn't living here during that awkward age of 13. I looked like a personified Daddy Long Leg. I soooo wouldn't have ever been asked out. Oh wait I wasn't at home either...

Anyway, before you go and talk shit about the muscular asses here and say that they are all surgery, I am here to tell you they aren't. Well, at least not all of them. If you have ever frequented a gym in Rio de Janeiro, you'll have seen that the woman here work out more than the Navy Seals.

Honestly, I see women busting out ridiculously hardcore aerobics with 20 kilo (40lb) weights strapped on to each one of their ankles. There I am crying next to them with nothing on mine and they basically have the equivalent of a preschooler holding on to dear life on each one of there's. These hard asses are not something that happens naturally. The women here work for them.

Of course this may just be in Rio de Janeiro. Regardless, I used to consider myself a woman who knew her way around a weight room. In comparison to most American women, I still do. Next to one of these Assazonian ladies, I am nothing! They work out muscles in the ass and legs that I didn't even know exist! Hell, I doubt I've ever even felt them working.

So when you see a picture of an asstastic Brazilian woman, don't get all full of hate. They work hard for that ass. They spend more time in the gym than we do doing anything else. Respect it as one of the wonders of the world. Brazil has won the ass, as if it was ever a competition. 

Serious Growth and I'm NOT Talking Mold

Living in Brazil has taught me so much about myself. We are talking serious growth here people.

Take my space issues for example. That has basically been beaten out of me, or at least it felt like that at the time. In Zona Sul, there is no space. And when it seems like you just may have founds some, you realize that there was a person on deck waiting to invade it. If you don't believe me, just try being pregnant down here. I had total random strangers rub my baby and lower down to talk to him. It was quite interesting and a bit of a boundary pusher for me at the time. I mean hell, go down a few more inches and you'd be talking to my vag. Yes, that is a little too close for comfort.

I have also started to become organized. This is directly related to the above space issue. While Mr. Rant and my Mother may call bullshit on this one, I do believe they have blocked the memories of my past ways out of their minds. Yes, it was that bad.

And not to be forgotten, I am damn good at pinning clothes. I like to consider myself a 1950s inner city wife. I do it well but keep it classy people, no clothes hanging out my window. Of course they are on my balcony but that's just between you and me.

Then there is food. My major source of nutrition in the states, if you could call it that, came in the form of a box and was heated in the microwave. I only have good genes to thank for not falling victim of the American Obesity trend. In my defense, I didn't really know how to cook and I drank a lot so crap food just tasted better. Of course I'm in Brazil now where, when I got here anyway, the only frozen ready-made food was basically Pão de Queijo or some stuff that I didn't even recognize. Not to mention the fact that there are so many fresh fruits and veggies that they basically fall out of the sky and right into your mouth. FYI, so odd to be saying this, don't swallow. Wash them first or they'll be going out even faster than they went in.

There's also the whole cooking from scratch thing. While I had seen my Mother do it, I just thought she was old school. Apparently it has quite a little following. My biggest shock was when I realized that I, Rachel's Rantings, is capable of making something from scratch that tastes a hell of a lot better than the stuff in a box (and keeps you much more regular thank you very much.)

All this stuff has me thinking that I was really immature when I came to Brazil for the first time at 23 years old. Oh wait, isn't the definition of 23 immature anyway? Sweet, there's my excuse!

Seriously though, how has where you are, physically or otherwise, changed who you are for the better? 

Nail Polish on Boys: Acceptable?

I painted my 2 year old son's nails pink. Fingers and toes baby. The little man saw Mommy decorating her fingers in the bright color and wanted it for himself. What two year old doesn't like bright colors painted somewhere on their body? 

Of course I am living in a machismo country, and an especially machismo city. You don't paint boys' finger nails. You don't give your boys baby dolls. And you definitely clarify that pink is a girls' color... if you are not me. 

And while I was prepared for some comments, I didn't realize that EVERYONE in this city would notice his tiny nails. 

On our way home from the park, three street girls of about 12 years old stopped me to ask if I had anything I could give them. Since we had walked I really didn't and I told them sorry. We all chatted for a minute about how it is getting cold, I made a mental note to bring out a blanket to give the next time, and we went to enter our building. That's when I heard the:

"Tia?" It means Aunt and is a common way kids refer to unknown women here for some reason. 

I turned to listen and all the girls were giggling. The oldest asked "Did YOU paint his nails pink?!" I said yes I did and the Menace, hearing the conversation, turned to proudly show them his nails. "But he's a boy!" 

Apparently the machismo societal standards are enforced even by those that very society rejects. Go figure. 

Would you paint your toddler's son's nails if he asked?

VLOG: The Land of the People Person

Pothead Students Protest

So 3 kids were caught smoking weed on campus at USP (University of Sao Paulo). The cop on duty arrested them.

Apparently a group of their friends staged a sit-in until they were released. From what I hear the sit-in group was kicked out yesterday.

Seriously? Seriously?! If a couple of my friends were caught smoking weed on campus I would swing by the prison, take a picture, and post it on Facebook making fun of them for being stupid.

Oh Brazilian students, if you want to be taken seriously don't protest the arrest of dumbass friends who decide to use illegal substances on the campus of a public university (or any university for that matter), especially when there are officers patrolling.

Go to school and learn and then get baked at home like all the semi-intelligent stoners!

For more info check out this article: Washingtonpost.com/

Social Media Friendships: No Nudity Required

My stalker proof picture

Who says you can't make real friends on social media? Is it you over there? Or you? Well I am here to tell you that you are all full of crap. I have made a real deal friend using solely social media and she didn't even ask me to send naked photos!

Before we start this debate I am going to ask you what a friend is to you? Well I'm pretty easy. My friendship can be bought by way of Mexican spice packets. Ok, not just that. We would ideally enjoy each other's company (virutally or not), be able to banter and actually carry on a conversation (yes under 140 characters can count as a conversation), have my back (as I do yours), and send me Mexican spice packets.

So here's how it played out. I came home after an EXTREMELY long day of motherhood, work, and general life to a package. A package? Really...  It was a small nicely wrapped box and my heart sang out. It had to be from Stay at Home Babe! 

Someone does not go light on the tape

No that is not her actual name and yes I do know it. Not only did I not have to send her naked pictures, I also know her name. Sorry but I had to earn that information and so do you. 

Anyway, I was bitching on Twitter, as it is a hobby of mine, about running out of Mexican food spice packets that I use to make my wannabe Mexican food here in Brazil. It was the cry that was heard around Twitter and Stay at Home Babe (@stayathomebabe) came to my rescue.

This fine lady, a fellow American with a strong love of all things spicy, sent me spice packets from England! By the way Old El Paso, if she can find these pockets of fajita gold there why in the hell don't you sell them here?!

As I slowly pulled out the packets imagining all the yummy spicy goodness in my future I found another surprise. A token if you will. An awesome gift just for me! The perfect thing to go with my new apartment and something that actually made me get all sentimental.

It was this key chain:

Wow, someone practically on the other side of the world did all this just for me, just to make me happy. She went out of her way to pick something up that I was homesick for. On top of that she gave me something that I will make me smile every single time I see it on my keys. Something that will remind me that I am lucky enough to call such a sweet person a friend.

Thank you Stay at Home Babe! You are the best 21st century pen pal. I really hope to meet you in person one day. (Please note that I meant that in the least stalkerish way possible)

Best Goals of 1982!

Mr. Rant was totally into this youtube video of the top 11 goals of Brazil's 1982 team. I'm not going to pretend to even know what that team was about because I was 2 years old at the time. But enjoy!!

Pretty Damn impressive though! 

Avoiding Identity Theft in Brazil

I found a very interesting post of 12 tips on how to Avoid Identity Theft. I decided to see if I could translate this to life in Brazil!

1. Order your credit report from each of the three credit reporting companies: I'm not sure if this is possible down here although I assume it is. Mr. Rant is constantly checking our credit card statements. That may be because of the risk of cloned credit cards. Maybe I should inform him of my R$2000 bill at the gas station...

2. Avoid carrying your checkbook with you unless it's absolutely necessary: I never carry checks here. Mr. Rant only has one or two checks on him at a time. I just assumed (making an ass our of U and ME) that it is common to not take the whole checkbook. So now I get anxious when I only have one, not that there is any more risk than there is at home.  I'm more of a check tease anyway. I fill it out and give it to someone only for them to realize that I misspelled Cinquenta or put the date where Rio de Janeiro goes or something like that. Damn foreigners.

3. Guard your social security number, birth date, and your mother's maiden name with extra care: Um, I think by law every piece of paper in Brazil, down to a personal note, is required to have your CPF (Brazilian SS#), birth date, and both parent's full names.

4. Avoid putting paid bills and anything that contains personal information and your signature in your home mailbox. Instead, take them to the Post Office or hand them to your mail carrier: Brazil has got this one covered via online payments, paying at the bank, or paying at the creepy lottery counters. And if you ask me why I find the lottery counters creepy I wouldn't be able to tell you. They are just weird little places.

5. Purchase a good paper shredder: Being a cost efficient person I went ahead and gave birth to two paper shredders. Seriously though, Mr. Rant has never been super anal about shredding. He also hardly throws any papers away. We have tax forms from 1991 for a company that doesn't even exist anymore. Apparently you never know when the Brazilian government is going to want to see some sort of official document from your past. At least it's hard for identity thieves to get into your home and find something useful in piles of crap. Btw, I'm calling the show "Hoarders" and reporting Brazil!

6. Never trust an email that asks you to click on a link from a company that may have any information about you: Duh


7. Forget taking surveys via telephone: I once answered the phone here in Rio de Janeiro and there was someone wanting me to do a survey. I went with it and they proceeded to ask me all about what electronics I had in my home. *Warning* Of course I lied and down played but then they asked for my address, for the survey of course. I told them I wasn't comfortable giving my address. They then asked for just my zip code. I said no as well since I know that my zip code in Brazil will tell them which street I live on and more or less what part of it. Note to self: be careful of anything on the phone in Brazil, especially if you are a foreigner. But don't be scared and have fun with it. If someone calls saying your husband has been in a car accident asks you what kind of car you have be creative. "He crashed our Hot Pink Mini-Cooper!" When they say yes you can then laugh in their face and hang up.

Read the entire article on protecting yourself from Identity Theft in the States here. 

All and all I think Brazil has a pretty safe system when it comes to protecting your identity. While I hate all the hoops, it is a good system. There is a reason why you have a chip in your bank card, are required to swipe it 300 times to take out R$5, and have to type in your password 3 or 4 times. Heaven forbid you try to take out a R$20, but it works. Official signatures, thousands of stamps on hundreds of official documents, and flimsy IDs all make the Brazilian world go around. 

How To Handle Diarrhea in Brazil

Diarrhea isn't fun anywhere but definitely makes you feel helpless when you are in a country where you don't know what to take.

The first reaction Mr. Rant has when I'm urinating out of the wrong side is for me to drink a Yakult. Since it has all the healthy bacteria my body would be obviously lacking in that situation it seems like good advice. I'm sorry but I always go no on that one. Yakult gives my healthy intestine the poops, goodness knows what ass fire I'd be dealing with when under the weather.

The next is Floratil. It's a pill version of the healthy bacteria. I totally take these but keep in mind that it usually takes a couple of days to work, aka when you diarrhea would have stopped anyway.

For those in a state of immediate need of corkage, the medicine you are looking for is called Imosec. This will cork you right up (especially if you take two). While I am a firm believer of letting the watery times roll, when you have to have all calls forwarded to the bathroom it may be time to step in and bitch slap Mother Nature.