Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Love my Gyno

My gynecologist believes that I am becoming Brazilian. No, my pap smear did not come out green and yellow.

So I had an appointment to see her this morning at 830am. Seeing that I am an early riser and Mr. Rant has to be at work by 10am at the latest (more like 1015. Now he is Brazilian) I schedule my appointments early.

This morning Mr. Rant was a super champ. I only had to nudge him once and he was up with The Menace (we take turns being the first one up). Chatterbox woke up closely there after and came to ask if I would get up with him. Screw that. Of course I sound far more loving while saying it to my child.

So I finally drag my sorry ass out of bed thinking it must be like 730am or something like that. Come to find out it was 840am. I was already 10 minutes late. I was just about to call and apologize for missing my appointment when Mr. Rant scoffed at me. Seriously, like a real old fashioned scoff.

"You're in Brazil. You aren't even late. Just go now."

I love a good pap smear as much as the next girl and decided to give it a go. I really didn't think my doctor would be able to see me as she is one of the more organized Brazilian doctors when it comes to her time. Honestly, I chose her because when I was pregnant I had some seriously bad 'I hate Brazil and am going to smack somebody' moments. Waiting for 2 hours at the gyno would certainly bring those up.

I finally arrived around 850am.  My doctor opened the door announcing, loudly, that "So you are Brazilian now!"

I laughed. For starters she doesn't normally answer the door and secondly she is right. I'd NEVER do that my country. Hell, you lose the appointment half the time if you don't show up 15 minutes early. I laughed and apologized for being late. I even started to go into the reason when she cut me off laughing and said "Now you're really Brazilian." FYI, I was blaming my husband.

As we sat down at her desk she semi-seriously said "Please do not pick up on some of the bad habits we Brazilians have. We're supposed to be getting better, not turning the foreigners."

I love my gyno. 


  1. hahaha, thats hilarious! nice to know every once in a while you find a person dedicated to a schedule around here! but the whole blaming the husband, Im not so sure that isn't a global thing =)

  2. she seems adorable.
    you must live really close to her office then if you got there so fast!

  3. I do. Made an effort to find doctors I like near my home. Seems to have been a smart choice ;)

  4. It took me about two years, but I finally figured out what the problem is. Many Brasilians believe they can be Star Trek style beamed wherever they wish to go. So, when they have to be somewhere at a certain time, they have no need to leave the house early as there is no time consumed by transportation when being beamed.

    No matter where you are going (other than airports), just leave the house at the same time you are supposed to arrive at your destination and let the beam do the work! The problem is, clocks and watches are somehow advanced during the beaming process, so it appears you are late to others, though you really aren't. And, it won't work at airports for some reason, I have tried it.

    1. PTRio, unless it is a professional meeting, a Dr/Dentist apointment or movies/theater it is considerate rude to show up at the correct time (or at least it was when I left Rio) only "chatos" show up for a party/dinner at the appointed time. But I think your Brazilian wife/girl-friend probably told you that... 30 minutes late is fashionable, 1 hour is pushing it

    2. My husband is always on me about not arriving to kids parties on time. 1 hr after the marked time.

  5. LOL, great Photo as usual.

    I thought we already settled that you are becoming a "Tupiniquim" by your reaction to the International Media reaction about the buildings collapse... guess this is the nail on the coffin.

    Do you do the "depois a gente: combina, passo na sua casa, te ligo." when you have no intention of doing any of the above? if yes, you are not only a Brazilian but a Carioca as well!!

    1. I have done this a couple of times. lol. But only with other Cariocas who I knew were doing the same back. It just makes it easier ;)

  6. marcio is not fashionable anymore!
    even brides are on time now :)

    1. Not at the weddings I go to! One time the bride was almost 2 hrs late!

    2. Anon, So you would show up on time for a Dinner in Rio?!! outch.

      you would find me un-showered if you showed up on time for a Dinner at my place, what is going on back home!!! is this the turist/ex-pat invasion?!!

  7. Being a time oriented American I always try to be exactly on time for all appts. However, my laid back Carioca wife says we should never arrive exactly when people invite us here in France because they are Latins too. Such enough, when we did arrive on time, our hosts were not quite ready. My wife says an appts is just a right to get in line when you arrive and that the order of arrival determines your real appt. time. However, this does not serve for doctor's appts here. They are very time oriented too.

  8. Hahaha, I am very happy to hear that your pap smear did not come out green and yellow, my friend.

  9. Talking about green and yellow smear and changing ones identity, I am curious (always am for some reason) about the ex-pat experience in Brazil. if some of you would entertain me talking about the following:

    1) When does an Ex-pat starts feeling Brazilian, does Brazilian your Brazilians friends/family consider you a Brazilian?

    I've been living in NYC for 10 years now, and I'm still Brazilian to the core, I will get offended if you say I'm a New Yorker (nothing against the city, it is a great city and I do love it- It is just that I'm very passionate about Brazil) and since I do not act like an New Yorker, I don't thing the natives would consider me one of them, but I'm married to a Brazilian... maybe if I married/lived with a New yorker it would be different .

    I for one always considered any foreigner hat lived in Brazil for more than, lets say, two years and adopts some of our cultural traits to be Brazilian...

    2) I don't want to start a fight so if anti-americanism in Brazil is off-topic just ignore please. I think there is a little anti-americanism in Brazil most due to historical reason (search "brother sam operation" and you see what I mean) and bit of jealous mixed with back-slash but I always thought that brazilian would connect to you on a individual level - like bad mouth US government and politics for half an hour and them invite you for dinner with hi/her family...

    I live in the US, and work in finance so I'm really not anti-american but the US support for the Brazilian military dictatorship does bother me a little bit- you did meddle in our history.

    Mrs Rant, if this is not the forum for these discussion please fell free to delete the post, I don't want to dictate the topics of discussion. I'm just really curious about the expat community experience regarding identify and anti-americanism...

    1. Deleting? Are you crazy? One of the best parts of this blog is the interaction of readers :)

      I think this may be a blog post... Would you mind?

  10. @ Marcio I think there are stages of "gringo"
    1 Everything is new and you are in love with the place
    2 You're going to fix all the problems with your foreign smarts, obviously the problems are so easy to fix, and you hang out mostly with other foreigners making little effort to fit in with your host country
    3 I know everything about Brazil, Rio, Portuguese, etc. I am not a gringo - I am better than them
    2&3 can be reversed and many people bounce between them before finally reaching
    step 4: The happy medium where you no longer are who you were, but realize you don't have to be 100% brazilian

    After 6years my husband points out my foreigness when I trust in people's good intentions, expect things to work, get stressed/frustrated when I have to flake on plans, eat on the bus (its an hour ride at lunch time, what else will I do whle sitting there) or otherwise multitask, commit haviana abuse (again, an hour by bus or train to work, possibly standing up and a 20min walk and brazilian heels are too expensive/shoddy/uncomfortable for that type of abuse..they come in my bag), eat with my hands, refuse to wear shoes in the house, run in non -spandex clothing, etc.

    I have adopted tons of Brazilian traits and have mostly Brazilian friends, but once I embraced the idea that I dont have to be 100% one or the other, I became a much happier person.

  11. Finally someone admits that Haviana Abuse is real, and is a problem.
    Shame is often what keeps certain issues in the dark. Many times an illness needs a face, and a testimony, to be taken seriously. Such brave individuals foster courage in others, so they may come forth.
    Congratulations Anom, you have provided that testimony. Put those flip-flops away people. You are not a slave to them.
    Let the healing begin.