Brazil Counters France in Parenting Style

For all you not reading the required obsessive literature on how to raise your children correctly, and simultaneously making yourself feel inadequate, you may not realize the current hip method is comparing yourself to the French.   

I found this brilliant article: Why American Kids Are Brats by Judith Warner and it really hit home. The theory is that French children more polite, follow instructions, and generally treat other people with greater respect. 

And that comes directly from being taught, from the earliest age, that they’re not the only ones with feelings and needs.

And she hits more nails on the head:

American parents assiduously strove to make sure that their children’s wants and needs came first, no matter what. This sometimes had a name — “advocating for your child” — and was clearly predicated on the belief that if you didn’t yourself do it, didn’t teach your child to “self-advocate,” no one would, and in the great stampede for resources and rewards your child would get left behind in the dust.

I find that learning that the world does not revolve around you is something that most of us Americans have difficulties with post High School. That trip to "find ourselves" by living out of a backpack and getting drunk on foreign alcohol or informing our parents that we need the "college experience" and thus they have to pay upwards of $20,000 a year for us to live in a dorm room. There is a sense of entitlement that our own parents are guilty of giving us.

Brazil is different. While all classes are heavily guilty of doting on their children, it is mainly with snacks and a lack of boundaries. But there is a beauty behind the method of madness here. Brazilian children are raised to be flexible. They will go with the flow at an adult party, finding something to play with. Except for in the upper classes, you will not see a Mother pull an ipad out of her purse, many times they don't even bring toys. The children are expected to find a way to amuse themselves. Normally they end up playing with other children in the same situation. 

It makes me wonder. Is my preparedness for my childrens' needs actually continuing this expectation that their whims should and must be met first? Unlike French parents, I almost always carry water just in case my boys get thirsty on the street. I usually have a small back up toy available in my purse for both. And I rarely push them to go to something that they openly don't want to.

Then I think, does it really matter anyway? Honestly, is my son going to become an ass when he grows up because his Mother could produce water upon request while at the park? Doubtful. It is also doubtful that he'll feel more loved. Basically he'll just not be thirsty at that given moment. 

Regardless, I do find that, while obviously different from France, Brazilian children are also taught some social graces. While I doubt they compare to the politeness of a little Parisian lad, Brazilian children are more casually comfortable socializing with adults. 

In Brazil children kiss all members of the family on the cheek and give a personal hello and goodbye. That means that at a family lunch my children, even the 3 yr old, will go around and give each of the 20 some odd people their a kiss and say hello. This is a cultural habit that I have personally enforced because I liked the idea of my boys giving that direct attention and learning that one must jump through some social hoops to make others happy.

This is something you would never see stateside. As a child I would walk into the home of a friend and maybe give a little wave but that was all. The expectation of a personal hello and having a casual chat with the grown ups is fabulous. Between this and the required sharing of all toys at the parks and beaches, I find that Brazilian children interact better with each other and adults than their American counterparts. 

All in all, I can not say that I would ever be capable of parenting as the French. I just really don't see the big deal in sitting in my childrens' room for 10 minutes as they go to sleep. I really really don't see how forcing them to sit and clean their plate does any sort of good. Of course that comes from a person who as a child that didn't eat onions nor tomatoes until she was in her 20s. Proud to say that I now LOVE both of them. 

Anyway, I do feel though that raising my children in Brazil has pushed me off the normal track of American parenting. Although it may have been towards the opposite side of the spectrum from the French, it's still getting the job done. I believe that we can all learn from how people in other places raise their children.

What about you? How do you raise your children? What rules are a must? And would you change your parenting style based on a book?

10 Things I like Better: USA vs Brazil

I found this awesome post idea from a cool expat blog called A Suitcase and Stilettos. I thought I would take a go at the list.

Things I Like Better in the USA:

1. Mexican food. Mexican food in Rio de Janeiro is usually crap and overpriced. It's such a sad Mexican food situation down here that I get excited over wannabe store bought tortillas and Old El Paso spice packets I receive in the mail.

2. The parking spots. I can hardly park a small car in a large American spot, I am totally useless here. Parallel parking skills are so good in this country that Brazilians should be allowed to list it on their resume. "Brazilian Parallel Parker"

3. Couches. You all saw what I went through for my couch. I do love it and it is really comfortable but I have to say it can not beat American couches. In the US we have fabulous soft, fluffy, comfy and sleep inducing couch options you just can't really find here. Of course it may be because it is cold there, we sit on our asses much more than Brazilians, and that we need softer couches that will allow for the spread of our ever growing ass. Whatever it is, they are far more comfortable up there.

4. Candy. Seriously candy isles are a freaking a joke down here. The tiny little "normal" sized candy bar is the size newborn American babies eat. Give me a break and get this girl a real candy bar!

5. Moisturizers. I chalk this up to personal preference due to growing up there. I just find that the body and face moisturizers are nicer in the US. That and they are less expensive.

6. The toy selection. Toys for my kids are SOOOO much cheaper at home. Hell, anything for my kids is cheaper at home. I end up using the vast majority of my suitcase space for kids stuff like future bday presents, clothes to grow into, and shoes.

7. Milk. I do have a brand I like in Brazil now (leitisimo or something like that) but it still isn't the same. I go on a milk binge everytime I visit. Maybe it's all the chemicals pumped into our cows like water. Maybe it's the fact that our milk isn't made to hold for a year on a ridiculously hot shelf in a Brazilian kitchen. I don't know what it is but I have no problem killing a gallon of American milk in the 5 days before it spoils in the fridge.

8. Floss. This is a weird one and I totally blame Mr Rant. He got me into this thin wax floss stuff from Colgate or something. I have to say, it is now my favorite and you can not find it here.

9. Selection. The one good thing about being a somewhat heartless consumer country is the selection. There is a seriously large selection of anything and everything in the US. Hell, look at #8's floss preference. That kind of preference comes from a selection spoiled person. I mean, it's freaking floss, how different can it be?... but it sooo is.

10. The bacon. The bacon here is a little too fatty, too few per package, and too expensive for my bacon taste. I miss the neatly sliced rows of American bacon with the perfect proportion of fat to fat meat and all at a fair American price.

What about you? What do you like better in your Native country? 

Rio de Janeiro's Newest Dealer

I have become Rio de Janeiro's newest dealer, but it's not what you think.

A couple of foreigner women have shown up at my apartment. Due to their schedules and such, I have met them in front of my building where we make the exchange. It's a very 'Do you the have money because I have the stuff' kind of situation. FYI, I only work with cash.

The stuff, used baby gear. I have become a hoarder of all things baby and American. I just can't help it. Call me cheap, resourceful, and maybe a bit crazy but this stuff is like gold! I refuse to pay the inflated Brazilian prices and have planned my purchases abroad accordingly!  Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

Foreigners as far as Leblon have ventured to the other side of the tracks to purchase these reasonably priced and delicately used items. While no Brazilians have taken a bite, foreigners have jumped on it. I'm starting to see a dolce de leite vs peanut butter kind of preference here.

Honestly though, I am amazed with this cultural difference. Brazilians do not like to buy things used. Sure Mercado livre (a Brazilian Amazon-ish site) is alive and well, but that is not the general public. There have been a couple of used baby gear stores in my neighborhood that have crashed and burned in months.

Brazilians will use their own stuff to death but what they accept used is very limited. Hell, I haven't had one person here say they have some old clothes from their kids to give to us but I have received bags from friends every single time I go back for a visit.

Foreigners are just different. If it's an item that your kid is going to use for a year top, why pay the crazy prices at Lojas Americanas! We'll take just about anything, clean it up, and put it in our house. Just look at garage sales. If you really think about it, it's a kind of creepy practice.

But things are different here. It is much more common to give your used items to your maid or doorman than to offer them to a friend. Why give things to someone who has the money to buy them themselves? I also find that middle class Brazilians are a smidgen paranoid when it comes to cleanliness. The fact that I was expected to iron my baby's clothes to "sterilize" them was beyond my comprehension. First, I don't think sterilization works like that. Secondly, if I don't even iron my clothes it's just best for baby to get into the program from birth. I wouldn't want him to expect things that just aren't going to happen.

And don't even get me started on Mr. Rant and his not sitting on things in street clothes issue! Street clothes? Who says that?!

It begs me to ask, is buying used vs new a cultural habit that is based on our home country's socioeconomic status? Or are we foreigners a bit dirty and cheap and are Brazilians selectively OCD? 

Children of Double Nationality: Which are you?

I have two boys with double nationalities. While being raised in Brazil, they are very familiar with the US for their ages. What I find interesting is with what country these dual children choose to relate to.

My 4 year old is Brazilian. That is what he says all the time. Of course he is also American and enjoys the comfort of that country, but he has a definite preference for yellow and green. He is all about the heat, beach, pool, and beans. He will tell you he prefers to be in Brazil but misses American houses, playgrounds, candy, and Target. 

I promise you, I have shown him more of the US than that. We have done museums, Disneyland, and many other fun "American" things. 

But the boy is Brazilian. It's what he relates to.  And I know most of you will say it's because he's being raised here.  

I wonder though because he has one little friend, who is being raised in Rio, that seems more British than Brazilian. While in the same one Brazilian parent and one British parent scenario, he seems very proud to say that he is, in fact, British. 

He also so charmingly states why they are better than Americans. Got to love those 4 year olds. 

I believe we have a bit of both nature and nurture here. Maybe the British are more patriotic than us Americans. Maybe that little boy and his family have more contact with the Motherland of the parents. 

I wonder though, who decides? The kids? The location? The influence of the parents? Or is it an all of the above situation? 

What's your take on it? 

You are What you Eat... When you are 3.

I twittered upon this article today talking about the association between processed food in early childhood and IQ. I find these kinds of articles particularly interesting because I see the difference between the diet my boys have in Brazil vs the US.

Now, I know we all have a "choice" in what we feed our kids. It's obvious that the 2 year olds aren't going to the fridge, popping a pizza in the microwave, and cracking open a cold Bud.  We need to feed our kids good old fruits and veggies, salads (Bwahaha! Get that in my toddler), and such.

The article said:

"The results showed that a predominantly processed food diet at the age of 3 was associated with a lower IQ at the age of 8.5, but that a healthy diet — high in salad, fruit, vegetables, rice and pasta — was associated with a higher IQ at the age of 8.5. Dietary patterns between the ages of 4 and 7 had no impact on IQ."

Personally, my kids can consume an alarming amount of rice and pasta. It goes down like my red wine on a cold and stressful day.  I like to top them with homemade black beans and BAM, you've got yourself something healthy-ish to eat.

The thing is, my options of convenient and affordable foods differ greatly from those in the states.  Nothing microwaveable is affordable, not by my definition at least. And don't even get me started on the cardboard they call overpriced frozen veggies around here. Hell, the only reasonably priced canned food I can get is corn and peas.

And that is different enough.

Of course, I should mention how the normal Brazilian kid drinks Coke (and many other sodas) from a very early age.  Everything, EVERYTHING, is available fried (in the amount of oil I use in 1 months time).  But surprisingly, the obesity didn't really seem to jump until the "convinience" food arrived. Plus McDs and such.

Yet regardless of the fact that my kiddos are friends with the snacks that the Brazilians do love, they jump decently in weight after a visit to Grandma's house in the USA.  Obviously, they get to snack more, as Grandma is a sucker when it comes to whines of kiddos, but overall they eat less.

At my house, my kids are little meal eaters in addition to 3 or so decent snacks. Of course, we have our good days and bad days and plenty of non-optimal sugars and fats are consumed.  But in the US, they eat very little of their meals in comparison to here and still put on weight.

Since my children are lean but healthy boys, I enjoy the jump in weight. A little wiggle room for my active little wannabe crack babies. But it makes one ponder, what is it in the food there that is filling in their tiny tummies?

Of course, according to the studies, I don't have to worry about my 4 year old. He's as smart as he's going to get from food. We can just forgo the healthy items and lay on the sausage.

And that is what I love the most about these kinds of things. Of course it's great to know more about how our body works. It's awesome to reach out to parents and teach them a better way to feed their kids.  But really, I doubt the woman using lard in her lasagna and serving it with boxed chicken nuggets is reading this and stressing that little Jr's IQ may be a couple of points lower than the annoying Hippies down the road.

I can't give any suggestions on how to do it, nor how to feed your kids. The only thing I can control is what I put down in front of mine.  My philosophy on that is balance. Good food, fun snacks, healthy options, and a little McDonalds when Mommy is over being a cook for the day.

Packing up my Ziplocks and Heading Home

I'm going home in a couple of days and packing is in full motion.  All bags and belongings are downstairs and organized.

You see, when you are an expat, you have a tendency to stock up when you visit home. I have a list a mile long of random and very important items I have to bring back to Rio. # 1 on the list is taco and fajita seasoning packets.

Oh yes, you heard me right!  Those McCormick 89 cent wannabe Mexican food seasoning packets are gold for this expat American.  It makes it possible to make my very own medium quality tex-mex in the privacy of my own home.  This is much better than paying a fortune to get it outside the house. Hell, I even make my own semi sour-cream now.

Along with seasoning packets, I bring good peanut butter, licorice, lotions/potions, and the kitchen sink. Ok, the last one is a big of an exaggeration, but I did bring a facet back with me once.

Now add a half dozen items I found in the Target $1 isle, I'm a sucker for a deal.

You see, I'm a compulsive packer. If there's an empty spot, I must fill it.  I'm even bringing back tupperwear.  Tupperwear!

In my defense, it's the coolest freaking tupperwear ever. The lids snap to the bottom so you don't have to search around for them in your cabinet! Very practical, if I do say so myself.

Oh my goodness, I just turned into my Mother. Right now, at this very moment. But that's another post...

So here is your goal, fit it all in the alloted suitcases!  Don't forget the Christmas toys from Santa!

And GO

Really, it's not as bad as you think. You get very creative with your space. It's surprising how many ziplock bags (out of the box) can be stuffed into a Fisher Price toy.  You'll be covered for the year!

In reality, the problem is not the packing, it's customs.  No, not that they'll stop you. Brazilians normally bring in a stupidly large amount of stuff from the US.  I'm worried about physically getting there.

I have five 70 kilos (154lbs) suitcases to get from the carousel to the professional bag perusers.  Even with the "guys" that help out with bags in Rio de Janeiro's international airport, that's a feat.  Let us not forget that my Mother has 2 of her own.  So that's 7 bags of Christmas toys, Mexican seasoning packets, and ziplock baggies.

Eventually we'll get there, into the car(s), and back home.  Then the problem will switch from how to pack it to where to put it all! Whatever, I'll cross that beach when I come to it. 

Who to Fly to Brazil, and in What Position

As packing for our return to Rio begins, I started thinking airlines. Oh, the airline you pick is as important as the condom people. There are some things you just shouldn't skimp on when it comes to quality.

Take American Airlines's from the US to Brazil and vise versa for instance.  It blows like your slutty stepsister.  I don't have enough room in my blog to explain my distaste for this airline.  I know they are the cheapest, but sometimes you have to spend a little more just based on principal.

Where does my hatred for AA come from?  Well, their service sucks, their seats suck, and basically everything sucks without anyone getting off. I just don't see the point in partaking in that kind of madness.

But the straw that broke this camel's back was on a flight back to Brazil from San Diego. I had a stop off in Houston and a layover. No biggie.  Once we got flying again, I popped my international-I-was-childless-and-could valium and was ready to float home.

Imagine my surprise when we started landing.  I thought, "Wow, Either Brazil has gotten closer or that was some damn good valium."

Nope, upon questioning I was informed that we were landing in Miami.  I told the stewardess that she must be wrong because I was not informed of this in San Diego when I checked in, nor did my old fashion envelope sized tickets say anything about an additional stop.

Oh, but didn't I know that it's American Airline's policy that they can add a stop if it is not a significant change.  I'll ask you, do you think my having to deboard and wait through an hour and a half layover was a significant change?  I sure do.

I was informed by customer service that they were in their rights to make that stop. I said "Dandy. And I am in my rights as a client to never fly you again."

Yeah so, I don't fly them.  I had always been miserable flying with them but didn't have a real reason to jump up to the next level. Well, the lack of apology did it folks. That's all it takes. A little, I'm sorry Rachel.  FYI American Airlines: Now it'd take 4 free tickets, international, thank you very much.  Call it inflation. Call it being an opportunist. I call it giving a second chance because I got free tickets. Hey, my heart ain't made of stone people.

But, back to reality.  If you are going to fly from the US to Brazil or vise versa, you should fly Continental.  I like them.  Of course it'll take like 2,000 trips to become elite.  That or I haven't gotten the special favors memo that shows you how to get bumped up more efficiently.  Not that I'm interested. Who's going to bump up a family with small children anyway?  That's why people pay to fly business and first.

Also keep in mind that United and Continental are sisters from other Misters these days. You can use miles and such and they work together. Pretty nice. This trip, we flew Continental from Rio to Houston and then United from Houston to DC.  Not too bad at all. Minus the 7 hr layover, but we saved like $1000 dollars. I can run around an airport with my kids for 7 hours if it saves me that much.

I also enjoy Delta. I find that Delta is good at giving more direct flights from the US into Rio. I know the stop in Sao Paulo isn't a big deal, but it's pretty sweet if you can avoid it.

And we must not forget Varig! I mourn the death of Varig. I'm telling you, they had super comfy seats, the flight attendants just rocked my world with kindness, and the plane was like an all night party.  It was Brazil in the air.  Not to mention, the food was better.  Oh well. You can't have it all, especially when executives are stealing from the company.

What airline do you prefer when you fly wherever it is you go?  

Time to go Home

It's time to go back home.  No, it's not because of the small town my parents moved to.  It's not due to the unusually cold weather.  It's not even because I'm bored. I'm not. Well, not enough to desire an overnight, international flight anyway.

The thing is, I miss it.  I miss home.  I say that phrase with caution because, in three words, it says so much.  Rio de Janeiro is my home. I may be American, but my heart no longer belongs on this soil for an extended period of time.

I used to have trouble saying we would never move back, even though I thought it wasn't likely. I couldn't hear that, even in my head.  These days, my head says it all the time, and it's not just economics.

Not only am I not on the same "life path" as most Americans, I don't agree with it anymore. I can't even watch the news without getting annoyed with our petty concerns.  I can't imagine how people in such a fortunate national situation can sit around and fight and bitch about such petty little things.  How can you use the reference of shooting someone because you disagree with legislation which, if you ask me, isn't even comparable to life or death .

Ok, now I'm getting into politics and that's not the point.  At the same time it is, I don't get the picking at each other. I don't get the hate. I don't get the overall pettiness to people's nature, the mine mine mine quality.  I have a hard time understanding the lack of patience for others and yet, I am completely lacking patience here.

I just don't like myself here anymore.  It's not a me I relate to.  And that is a problem.  I can't remember having more then one me.  It's uncomfortable, like two people trying to fit into the same jeans.

So where does that leave me?  I'm not 100% American at heart anymore and I'm not even 1% Brazilian.  Hell, I can't even say I'm totally fluent in Portuguese.  As I say to my English conversation students, the first goal is to be understood. Check.  The second is to perfect it.  I think I've passed the statue of limitations on that one.

Not so shockingly, the kicker is my kids.  With my first, I mourned the loss of my country, the fact that he would not grow up knowing the norms I knew.  Once I became a Mother twice over, that changed.  It became less about what I thought and wanted for my children and more about what is best for them.  Where do they thrive? What embodies my so-called requirements for their life?

Rio de Janeiro, as I can not speak of Brazil as a whole in this situation, is a conundrum, with something to learn and figure out at every corner.  My children will be raised knowing they are fortunate, at the same time not too fortunate.  They will see the blurred line between right and wrong, law and outlaw.  They will experience routine and lack there of.  They will be surrounded, constantly, like it or not by friends and family.

On top of it all, I've only raised my boys in Brazil.  All those things I thought I'd teach my children vanished with what I actually taught my children. The traditions I felt were lost were replaced with the traditions we made.  In the place of the home I missed grew a home I didn't know I had.

Anyway, it is really time to head back.  I will miss my family but I always do.  I will also miss my friends but that is just how it is.  Thankfully I have my friends and family in Rio who help fill the void of both.

To top it off, a little musical inspiration.  This song is the perfect description of what Rio de Janeiro feels like to me.  I can't explain it but it just feels like this song.

So here's a little Nando Reis for your viewing pleasure:

Oh Nando, sing me back home.  Let the charms of Brazil make me forget the amenities of the USA.  Let the churrasco fill the place of good high chairs in restaurants.  May the beautiful weather make me forget the affordable shopping.  And hopefully the quality ingredients will make me forget the luxury grocery items from here.   Then my transformation will be complete.  

Breastfeeding: A Difference in Culture

So Americans are boob people right? That's the theory anyway. Personally, I think they are Boob looking at people, not touch and interaction. It explains both the fascination with fake ones and their fear of breastfeeding. Cause let's be honest, they never feel real and what's the big deal with feeding a baby?

I really can't understand the last one. My boys were popped out in Brazil.  I wasn't even allowed to bring a pacie into the public hospital my oldest was born in, much less a bottle.  Actually, I had nurses in regularly harassing me to breastfeed him more. Let that milk come in!  And oh did it ever.

Then came life. I had to leave the hospital and continue on with my life, baby and breast included.  And you know what, that baby and breast came out wherever and whenever they needed to. Every member of our circle of friends, family, and any bystander nearby when I was on a walk got an eyeful of boobage.

And you know what, it was no big deal!  Because, here's the shocker, it's not a big deal.  I actually had a harder time with the amount of comfort Brazilians feel with breastfeeding as opposed to the other side. I had family coming up to look and love on the baby while on my breast.  Awkward but apparently only for me.

Once my second came, I was practically pornographic with my breastfeeding.  I guess I got a little too comfortable, as my husband actually asked me to be a little more modest.  Obviously that set me off on a hormonal rage that was totally irrational and made my brother-in-law practically vow to never procreate.  To say I feel strongly about breastfeeding is like saying I like to eat.

At the same time, to each their own. I feel that there is nothing worse than a miserable Mother breastfeeding.  Energy, spirit, pheromones, whatever you believe, it passes to the mini-me.  It is a personal choice... one that Americans do not appreciate.

That's what I don't get.  Why we have to see every woman's ass crack from 10 yrs old to 50 but can't see a top of a breast is beyond me. At least the breast is being used for feeding. Unless you are stuffing hot dogs in that crack, I really don't need to see it.

So what's the big deal?! Does this country really have nothing to bitch about that we can be offended by a Mother feeding their child? Do we really find it disgusting and inappropriate?  If that is the case, this economy really needs to drop. The comfort level needs to fall to a new low. If the US has reached a point where something so maternal and natural can be deemed NC-17,  it is LOST.

I dear you breastfeeding haters out there, eat your lunch with a sheet over your head. Hell, half of you eat like starving mammoths.  I'd love to send you to a special room to feed. Hell, if I have to cover up my hungry child, I don't want to see your ass inhaling a super-sized meal.  Consider this a compromise.

Oops, got a little feisty there.  Like I said, I feel passionately about breastfeeding. There is nothing better than milk, a little boob, and a snuggle.  All you men agree, don't lie!

In this way, I have yet another reason to stay an expat, besides the fact that we really don't have another option.  It is a universal fact that breastfeeding is the best choice and not the easiest, even in an accepting culture.  Every time a woman pulls out her boob, it's a little bit of a "thing" for her, no matter how comfortable she is.  I prefer to surround myself with people who understand that.

I will accept Brazilians telling me to put socks on my child in 90 degree weather, informing me that my child is too fat or skinny, and saying that they really should be walking instead of in a stroller (at 18 months in a big city).  And I am happy to have a Grandmother ask me, as with my second, why they are taking a bottle at 8 months instead of the breast.  You know why, because they actually care.

Wow, mind blowing caring about other people besides yourself.

Children are a compromise and there is no romancing that.  Your job as a parent is to try your best to do your best for them.  Your job as a society is to support that.  I think we Americans forget that sometimes.

As for my regular readers, if you are wondering about this twist to the normal rants, as if there is a normal, it's because of Twitter. I follow a lot of Mommy Twitter Tweeters.  You can find my page at @rachelsrantings.  

Missing jeitinho

I am having a serious case of the missings.  What am I missing?  Jeitinho!  Jeitinho, if you do no know already, is a sassy Brazilian way of bending laws, rules, and boundaries.  While it's not always the best thing for a government, it's pretty awesome using it day to day.

You see, I'm in the US, the consumer capital of the world.  I would like to buy things. Normally, that is not a problem, unless you want something you need a prescription for.

I, myself, would like to stock up on contacts. I can save a pretty penny buying them here. I basically get 4 boxes for the price of 1 back in Brazil. Awesome! So, I talked to my Brazilian Optometrist and got him to write my Rx out exactly like Americans do. Everything was perfect.

That was, until, I spoke with 1800 Contacts. It appears that the contacts prescribed for my right eye are discontinued.  No, they can not switch it to another brand. No they do not want my money.

Helly! Jeitinho? Switch it. What's the big deal!  I even went into Walmart and asked there. They were going to just switch it but the computer wouldn't let them add my doctor. Again, Jeitinho! I don't know about them, but when I worked in sales, I made the sales happen.  Get creative. Put a local number.  Mess with the address a bit.

Of course my All American family reminds me they could get in trouble for doing that. Why?  Because I'm going to get high off my contacts? Oh no, wait, it was an excuse to charge me $200 for another check up, just to make sure they could switch to an equivalent.

Youuuu Whoooo, I'm the buyer here.  My Doctor isn't the one who should decide the brand, I should. I should be able to switch based on saving a dollar or getting a free sticker if I want.  It's like prescription and generic.

Oh well. 1800 Contacts, you can kiss your $100 goodbye.  I'm taking me, my crappy eyes, and my Brazilian Rx to a small local Optometrist and see if I can Americanize the jeitinho and get me some cheap contacts.

Eating on a Jet Plane

I got to fly the infamous American Domestic flight yesterday. It's been a few years now and I forgot that things had changed.

So I revert a smidgen upon arrival in the US. Call it the giddy American girl who forgets she exists until she crosses the "Welcome to Houston, Texas" sign.  I remember customer service and that I am always right. It just makes me so pleased my panties tie up in a bundle.

We get on our second flight and I'm reminded by the flight attendant that there is no snack on board. I am more than welcome to buy one. That pisses me off. No snack?! No nuts?!  No crackers?!  Really, you can't afford to give a girl a cracker?  I then see everyone else pulling out subway and packed sandwiches. They were prepared.

See, right there. That was the American girl who snuck in and got a bit cranky over a cracker.  Actually, it was more about what she is entitled to seeing how much she spent for that flight.

Oh there she goes again.

Anyway, that's when it hits me, it's a 2.5 hr flight.  2.5 hours people.  You don't need to eat.  I seriously doubt every person on that plane had some sort of glucose disorder or was on a body builder's diet of 6 small evenly distributed meals.

The problem is, we Americans feel the need to eat when we sit.  It's very much a, oh I'm sitting so to compensate I should put something in my mouth. Maybe that's why there so much alcohol consumption and sex on American campuses.

And I fall for it too. Whatever will I do with myself and my 2 kids on a 2.5 hour flight without a fridge, pantry full of food, and/or a waiter.

Regardless, we survived. Yes, I bought the damn crackers. I have kids people and I neglected to pack them lunch. Bad Mommy.

Let's just hope I can remember a little of the Brazilian and keep my mouth closed, that is unless there's an actual meal in front of me, a cold beer, a kid not wearing socks, or  a hot guy I need to grunt at.

Fingers crossed!

Money, Stuff, and everything in between.

Why is it that money from my native land gets me all nostalgic.  Something about holding the green. Holding it, even the very few dollars (all 5s and 1s) that I have at this point living abroad, make me register that I'm going home.

So, as opposed to doing a corny little post on what I'm looking forward to, because I've already done that and I reached my quota for corny with last night's post, I'm doing something different.

There are things I no longer pack when I go home. I have a definite to US or to Brazil packing style.  It's efficient, it's crazy, it holds me off for the time I'm away from either place.

Since I'm going to the US and I'm being reminded of those neurosis, here is what I do and do not bring.

1. Skin care products. I buy them there, in bulk when possible, and bring them back.  That goes for face, body, and some hair. Not that hair. I live in Brazil, there isn't enough of that hair left!

2. Tennis shoes. Only the essentials because I prefer buying my tennis shoes, converse, boots, etc there. I do sandals, flip flops, and heels in Brazil.

3. I bring all my jewelry. I love earrings and always buy them in Brazil. Cool, big, and cheap.  Makes me sound like a hooker but I make them classy.

4. Books. If I'm mid-book, I leave it behind. I fly with kids, so no way I'm going to get to read on the flight. I'd much rather read new ones, bring back new ones, and pick up where I left off upon arrival home.

5. If beach is possible, I always bring my Brazilian bikini. I especially like to bring my littler ones. Shock factor. Nothing freak outs an Americans more than one of our own in a tiny ass Rio de Janeiro bikini on a US beach.  I've gone to Ipanema, I have no more shame.

6. Coffee and lots of it. My family is bored of most Brazilian things. That's a sign you've been somewhere a long time, when things you bring home stop being exotic. 'Oh more Pau Brazil beaded necklaces.  Great! One more and I can make a curtain.'  Coffee though, that is a staple asked for by every member of the clan.

7. Cigars. Brazilian ones. I swear.

Man, I'm getting all listy these days. I do believe packing and organizing is to blame. Procrastinators like myself need lists to make sure they only forget half of the stuff they are supposed to bring.

Anything I'm forgetting people?  Only 5 hrs to go!

Home, it does a Body Good

 I'm heading stateside to my native land to celebrate the holiday season and then some.  I'm excited for all the obvious reasons and some not so obvious.  Rule #3 of survival living abroad, I don't allow myself to focus on the things I miss. That goes out the window when a trip home approaches. 

Here is my mental list so far:

1. Drink milk!  Milk does a body good and it is one of the #1 things I miss about home. I don't know if our milk farmers spoon their cows at night, but they do something that works.

2. Curl up in a blanket on the couch.  I plan to abuse my Mother like the stepchild I never had, or at least don't know of yet.  For 1 hr out of the trip, if not more, I plan to curl up on her wonderfully soft couch in one of her amazingly soft blankets and let her run after my boys. Oh my, it'll actually be cool enough to curl up in a blanket without my husband calling me crazy! 

3. Good bad TV.  I've had so much good conversation, culture, good movies, and books while here in Brazil, it's time to drain the brain. You know, Celebrity Fit club and How'd you get so rich.  Good stuff that will just suck the brains right out of me, what's left after children anyway. 

4. Eat. My goal is to not put on the normal 10lbs (5 kilos) this time around. The more realistic goal is to only gain 10lbs (5 kilos). Let's think Christmas. Restaurants. Candy that I can't get here therefore eat by the truckload.  Salty snacks I also eat by the truckload. My theory is that if I eat as much as I want, I will eventually get sick of it and not miss the food/snacks when I come back to Brazil. It does work. I leave thinking if I see another Poptart I'll barf... not that Poptarts really count as food but I eat them anyway. 

5. Not be aware of my surroundings. I know I'm aware here but I never really get how much so until I get home. That's what happens when you live in Rio de Janeiro. You are blissfully unaware of how aware you are. It's very Born Identity how you can walk along with your kids, chatting and scolding, yet still know there are 3 people behind you (2 are men) and 4 in front.  And it's not stressful, it's just how it is. The moment I land stateside, I get my symbolic cup of Starbucks coffee, which I don't even like anymore after living in Brazil for 5 years, and I let it go. Let the totally unaware American way flow with my laptop falling out of my backpack and my kids playing with my itouch while I barely pay attention. 

Of course there will also be many trips to Target, certain stores to buy items I only buy stateside, grocery stores to stock up on bring to Brazil items, and many other things. 

I'm the most excited about seeing my family. Being involved in the family gossip and trash talk. Seeing my nieces, annoying my brothers, and hugging my parents.  I'm even excited for the criticism and the inevitable 'If I were you..."  There's a beauty in living abroad.  Even the annoying things are charming. 

What do you look forward to when you go home for a visit? What are your favorite things about home?

USA vs England

So today is the day!  Our first game and it's with England. I'm not too hopeful, then again, I am.  My British friend told me that the England team sucks this year.  My husband told me that the US team is pretty good (yeah yeah, I should know that on my own).

If I put those together: England team sucks + US team is pretty good = we have a chance!

Then comes problem number 2. We have another festa Junina party at 4pm. The game is at 3:30 here in Rio de Janeiro!  If we hadn't spent all morning inside, I'd say the kids could just play in the house. I think, in the interest of my family, I'm going to have to suck it up and go to the Festa Junina party.  I'm pretty sure there will be a tv somewhere in the Fluminense club to see the score.  This is Brazil after all.

More math: Brazil (more specifically Rio de Janeiro) + the World Cup = TVs everywhere playing ALL games, especially Brazil games.

Regardless, I'm going to raid my closet for red, white, and blue and wear flip flops so my fabulous American toe flags will be on display for all to see.  Will someone please remind me to bring US flags, shirts, etc for the World Cup in 2014!