Brazilians & Love for Children

Let's be honest, kids are freaking annoying. All kids! This goes double if you haven't actually birthed/raised any. Kids have an amazing way of slowly increasing your tolerance for the intolerable. It's practically an art form.

That is why I'm always so impressed by my childless Brazilian friends. They actually adore other people's children! Really! Even kids of people they don't know. That last one is a huge kicker for me. Maybe it's just my friends but in my country the real love for a child comes with a relationship of some sort with a parent.

In Brazil, apparently, you just have to be a miniature. They love you no matter who you belong to, maybe even in spite of it.

So take our Brazilian friends, they practically smother my children with adoration and love. The patience, interest, and adorable love of them is enough to stop my heart in amazement. Any one of my non-parent Brazilian friends come over to play with my children. They'll talk to me once the kiddos are in bed. I mean, they pause in the middle of the sentence to answer a question like a seasoned Mom of 3.

Thus it comes as no surprise that I fall in love with Brazil all over again every single time with meet up with these guys. This weekend was no exception. We had an amazing lunch at my place on Saturday, where I made shrimp dishes for the first time thank you very much! They were awesome, in case you were wondering. Sunday was spent playing a park in Lagoa and then a great long lunch (actually more like snacking, picking, and beer drinking for a couple of hours) at Bar Lagoa.

My childless friends didn't shoot even one dirty look my way the entire time at the restaurant, even when I let my kids sit under the table. (I don't care if it is dirty just as long as they are quiet). Actually, my friends joked with them while under the table! People, that's just how Brazilians roll. You have got to love that!

Have you ever noticed a difference in acceptance of children from one country to the next?

Me, the ball and chain, and jazzercise

I'm running low on energy and inspiration today. It's Friday after a long week. Mr. Rant has been working very long hours every single day. I swear, he's just attempting to cure the baby fever by making me fend for myself.

I've been floating in the pool of play dates, soccer practice, poop, kiddie meals, playing dog (seriously boring game), and bedtimes. I haven't done anything other then exercise, go to my doctor's appointment, and keeping up the old blog.

On a side note, my Jillian Michael's DVD Jillian Michaels Shred Weights has been rocking my world like Mr. Rant at the beginning of our relationship. Well, let's just say that it pushes me to go until I can't any longer and makes my legs sore. Sadly, the DVD does not offer a happy ending. No, we can not have it all!

And just writing about this is a personal step. While I'll discuss my workout video with my girlfriends, I find it rather embarrassing to admit to the public. I bet my neighbors watch from across the way and  mock my moves. I mean, when I think of workout videos images of the 80s and the tv jazzercise girls pop into my head.

Oh well, boring life + workout DVD = potentially better ass.  I think I'm a cup half full kind of girl.

So tell me, would you workout to a DVD and did you ever jazzercise? 

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! I'm heading out to the country for a long weekend and will be, gasp, cut off from the internet.

I just wanted to wish you all a great Easter, or long weekend if Easter is not your thing.

Here's a picture of my boys showing off their traditional Brazilian chocolate egg from their Vovô (Portuguese for Grandpa). Thank goodness it's hollow because even that way it's way too much freaking chocolate!

Enjoy your friends, family, and please brush your teeth!

xoxo

Shit Happens especially on Mondays

My kid crapped on the sidewalk. Oh yes, he pulled a move that flustered the crap out of me (or him depending on how you look at it).

You see, my 2 yr old has entered the potty training stage. It's a moment that horrifies the strongest of us Mommies as it is the most inconvenient thing in the world. This really does go double in Rio de Janeiro. Not only are there a lack of public bathrooms, most are not really where you would like your adorable toddler's toosh to sit. Hey, and even when there's a good one it could be closed for no reason at all.

So when I saw my little one take the squat position next to the benches by the play area, I panicked like a virgin. I literally picked him up by the armpits and spun him around in a circle while I looked for a good option. There were none. The Mommies, always an understanding bunch, pointed me to the semi-isolated tree.  I ran but the worst was already done. The pee tree could not save me.

Yes, a pee tree. Seeing that there are no easy access bathrooms near the play area, many Moms and Nannies have allowed kids to pee on the tree. Don't you dare judge us until you are in our position. Pee happens a lot, especially in hot climates where children drink a ton of water.

Poop is a different story however. Of course the worst was past, or so I thought. I was offered baggies from two friends. We all try to be somewhat prepared for this kind of thing. Of course I wasn't today. As I tried to find the last of whatever wipies remained in the stroller, quick poo number two plopped out onto the sidewalk.

I was without words or actions. There were no hoses, or anywhere to wash it into. A bucket of water would only bring it closer to the kids playing in the sand. With the help of some equally stumped friends, we covered it with a newspaper. The plan developed from there and the majority was wiped with said newspaper while the rest was covered in sand. There's a theory behind this but I'm sure you really don't want to know.

The beauty in all this is that at least we weren't in the US. I feel my child and I would have been excommunicated from the sacred church of the park. Here my friends mocked me in a good spirited way. The way one does when they are eternally grateful that it's not them in the situation.

Before you get horrified by my story, check out China!

I just hope this isn't a sign of how my week is going to go. 

The Nanny Culture

I live in a Nanny culture. Middle and upper class Brazilians are very accustomed to having this extra help. Much of the time, the nanny is the full time maid who babysits when it's needed. Let's be honest, how much work does a maid have in an apartment that's smaller than a McDonalds.

What kills me are the weekend Nannies! Since I'm not super opinionated, just a smidgen, I'll give license to the parents who do hang with the kids on the weekends and just bring the nanny with them for an extra hand. Hell, I'd love that for myself!

What gets me are the weekend nannies hanging around sans parents.  I'm not talking occasionally either. I can name at least 4 little kids at from neighborhood park who cruise Nanny-style every weekend.

I got the opportunity to chat with one of these weekend nannies one day at the park. You see, I already knew the children and the weekday nanny from said park and chatting started as the kids played.  I finally got up the nerve to ask where the parents where. I mean, it was 10 am on a Saturday!

I was very seriously informed that 'both parents are very important doctors. They work very hard.'

I see. Doctors are on-call normally. It's a stressful job. I totally get it.

That's when she added, 'so they need their rest during the weekend.'

What?

Apparently they did not work weekends nor were they ever really on-call.  But they worked hard all week so they preferred to have a drink on Friday and sleep in/rest on Saturdays.

Did they not get the memo that you need the sleep deprivation patch in order to be considered honorary parents?

And it doesn't stop even close to there. I actually had a student, the one who offered me a job, tell me that I needed to go after a career for myself. He was worried about me.  Plus his children were raised by nannies and turned out just fine.

Fair enough, but here's the thing, I did not have children to hire someone to raise them! I get daycare. I get needing to make a living. I TOTALLY get needing a night out every week.  But to have someone literally raise your children? No, you do not get to have your cake and eat it too!

Before you get me wrong, my outrage isn't because I don't get the sleep/freedom/free time.  It's not even because I think the kids are not being raised right. You get yourself a good nanny down here and she's capable of schooling any mother upside down and sideways.  It's the family, the life, and love that both parents and kids are missing out on.

I highly believe that half the parenting happens while soothing a sick child as they vomit on you. I think you bond as you play soccer or tell them NO.  We grow up together, the kids absorbing the little cool the parents have left and the parents becoming warn down grandparents with stories to tell.

It's not easy being a parent and I can see how these new ones with nannies get sucked into handing the baby over to "better" care. I can't even tell you how many times I've seen a nanny take a small baby out of Mommy's hands because baby is fussing. Honestly, the reason I don't have one is because she would have been bitch slapped at that exact moment and I would have been sued.

All this being said, I know a countless number of families who have the help and are just as involved as I am. Of course they have washed hair, manicured nails, and can afford fat pants instead of dieting.

And to top it all off with a generalized cherry, I was once told that I don't like help because I'm too American. We Americans are overly accustomed to doing things ourselves and can't manage to delegate tasks to the help.

Well, that sounds a hell of a lot better than my being annoyed by sharing my 2 foot box called an apartment with yet another person because THIS American is used to homes with space!

Personally, it comes down to wanting to do it myself with my boys. I want to be the one running around with them.  Plus, I feel lost with absolutely no housework. I don't think it's good that my attention is only on the kids and the kids have no chores themselves.  That being said, I feel a maid twice a week does no harm at all. And you know what, you can't convince me otherwise! 

Sick Boy

Today my oldest is sick. No free day for this Mom. I debated if my fever free pre-schooler really needed to stay home today.  Then he napped. That was a huge sign for me.

So we took the now better toddler to school and I carried my 300 ton pre-schooler back to our apartment.

The entire walk, I kept having flashbacks of the last time he was actually sick.  I had sent him into school when I was torn.  He was kind of cranky, maybe fever-ish, but had no real symptoms.  He didn't even complain about going!

A few hours later he had a fever at school.  It spiked on the walk home and he had a grand mal seizure in the stroller (that is until I got him out and laid him on the ground). Of course I had forgotten my cell phone, had no money on me at the time, and was alone with both him and my then 1 yr old.

It was an interesting day.

I was thinking all about that day during the short walk home. I now always keep either one of the boys home when in doubt.

We finally arrived home and crossed the threshold of our apartment.

I put my 4 year old down.  He promptly grunted and vomited 3 times right in front of the door.

I had never been happier to see vomit. A tummy bug, something totally different from last time.

Now if you excuse me, I have the urge to go mop the floor again.

By the way, he's feeling much better now. 

Character Building Bullying?

I overheard someone asking "No, character building bullying these days?!"

I was automatically horrified by the statement.  Bullying as a way to build the bullied kids's character? That's just mean!

But a couple of hours later I started to think about it.  Bullying has always had a tendency to get out of control. School yard fights are a long told tale.  But this generation has taken it to a new level. Children have been killed over being different. People are attacked. Entire school turn against certain students and those students sometimes end up bring guns to school.  When living in hell, why not try to shoot yourself out.  It's not ok, but you have to think of the back story there.

And I find that people tend to one of two parties: 'The boys will be boys' and 'The feel your feelings' teams.

So when I heard that statement my automatic response system went up and cried NO!  But maybe he has a point.  These days we shelter our children. We restrict play from the rowdy kids and hover over them like helicopters (ever brilliant term: helicopter parents).

Hell, there's even movements encouraging a Mother to co-feed her 5 year old with her newborn. All about the good health  here people but sometimes it's time to move up to the next step. We are so concerned that I will not be surprised the day safety helmets are required at school because someone's Daddy is a lawyer and his son got 3 stitches.

The thing is, kids have to go through things. It should never be in the extreme and I do not condone abuse nor harassment.  I'm just saying that these two teams need to meet in the middle.  If Billy keeps punching all of his friends in the face, he's not going to have any friends left. And if Mommy goes with Joey to 6th grade camp, no on is going to want to sit next to him at the campfire.

That being said, I'm a total Emotions, pink cloud, I will smack your child if he makes mine cry kind of Mom. I have to really control it.  I practically ran around after my oldest with a pillow at the park. Oh don't fall! And I intervened the moment someone's little voice rose.  You know what happened, he had a difficult time sticking up for himself. We spent a semester in school dealing with that because they just didn't make a desk big enough for Mommy's ass.

Sometimes kids need to fall. They need to know how to puff their chests out a little and stick up for themselves. They need that confidence that comes after you do.  If you always protect them from their challenges, they will never learn to do it themselves. And they will have to, eventually.

On the other hand, you parents who live so vicariously through their children that it's you that gets butterflies when the most popular boy asks your daughter out, stop. Stop it. This whole be what I was thing is annoying, and just because you hated "nerds" doesn't mean your kid should too. And when does the healthy teasing stop? When someone is lit on fire? What if it were your kid? Let your kid be an ass, but teach him that it doesn't matter if a kid is small, different, homosexual, or has special needs.  You can still be an ass without being a total waste of skin and oxygen.

Where does this get us? The good old middle ground.  It's easier for feelings people to let their kids learn and grow at their own pace if someone isn't going to threaten their daily life over it.  Also, sometimes feelings people need to explain the delicacy of social interactions to their children and how maybe, if he'd like, he could change his 'you all should die' t-shirt. People may be a little more open to him that way.

So we need to take the rough and tumble kids (and parents) and give them a little sensitivity training. Teach them that unless they are going to stay working at Daddy's garage, it may be good to understand that their are different ways of life.  Fuzzy parents, time to take your 12 year old out of the baby bjorn carrier and let him walk on his own a little bit.

Obnoxiously, this all comes down to a balance. Something very difficult for one person and seemingly impossible for a society.  When did the greater good ever become such a difficult concept to understand?  We live together. We survive together. We're supposed to a clan.

Oh and for the love of Pete, could we parents all stop to remember that our little Bob or Susy may not be that perfect little angel we always thought.  Kids learn to snow the vast majority of parents by 4 years old.  Your 14 year old is now an expert.  Be aware of your kids, how they are, what they are feeling, and what they are doing. It's a pain in the ass but it really makes a difference.  

My Preschooler is Taking Illegal Drugs??

When our pediatrician in Brazil recommends a medicine, it never crosses my mind to see what the United States thinks about it. I mean, a medical professional told me it is the best thing to give to my kid, can't be that different, right?


Wrong. I have given my children two different medications that are illegal in the states.  Say what?!  The first time this was pointed out to me was during a visit to the states, shocker.


My youngest had Infant Reflux and was on Motillium (Domperidone). He had pneumonia, awesome during vacation, and I had to inform the US doctor of all medication he took on a regular basis. Her response was that Motillium is not allowed in the US, she hoped I brought enough for the trip (I did, duh), and that it works wonderfully for gastrointestinal issues.  


Not too bad.  Of course, I got online to search why. And you know, it was nothing too shocking. Just the American system taking care of it's people and anything that may be questionable. Heaven forbid let the people it could really help use it. Of course not, we are not responsible, nor are our doctors, and nor are our pharmacies. No, I'm not being sarcastic.  The nation of pill poppers needs to be watched by big brother.   


The second medication is a smidgen more alarming.  My oldest suffers from fever seizures, still at 4 yrs old.  And it is a freakin' scary ass thing to see. Not to mention, how quickly his fever can go from 99 (37) to 103 (39.4).  It just shoots right up like Hugh Hefner after a Viagra.  


Our Pediatrician recommended we ditch the Ibuprofen and give him Nolvagina (Nolvagine).  Ok, I really didn't want to experience the fright again so I was on it. When my 4 yr old had one while we were walking home from school, we were sent to a pediatric neurologist.  


I was ready to hear anything she had to say. And you know, it was good. Tests came out clean. We just couldn't let him run a fever.  Give Nolvagina at 99 (37) and repeat it every 4 hrs if need be, every 6 if the fever stayed under control. 


So we're in the states for an extended vacation and low and behold, both kids get sick. No biggie but we have a fever situation for the oldest. Since it's not his first fever this trip, we are running low on our Golden Fever medicine. I figure, we must have it in the states, maybe it's just prescription or something.  


Oh no it's not prescription.  Nolvagina/Nolvagine (Metamizole) has been banned in the US since 1977. 30 other countries followed suit.  And while Brazil isn't the only country that still allows it, it is one of the top users.  


I bet you are wondering, well what's the problem.  The story is that Metamizole causes Agranulocytosis. Agranulocytosis is an acute condition involving a severe and dangerous leukopenia (lowered white blood cell count), most commonly of neutrophils, causing a neutropenia in the circulating blood. It represents a severe lack of one major class of infection-fighting white blood cells. People with this condition are at very high risk of serious infections due to their suppressed immune system.


Well there you go.  That's peachy with a side of pear.  With a little more Wikipedia research, I found that the incidence rate of metamizole-induced agranulocytosis is between 0.2 and 2 cases per million person days of use, with approximately 7% of all cases fatal 


Ok, nothing too shocking. Not 1 in 4 or anything crazy like that. 


What now?  I think I'm going to go with my doctors back in Brazil.  At the very least, both these medications were given as a last resort after other things didn't work.  And you know what, they do work well. Nolvagina kicks my kid's fever's ass every time, and that is not an easy feat.  


Eventually, as my youngest, my oldest won't have the seizure issue, fingers crossed. Then it won't even be the issue. For the time being, it seems the lesser of two evils. 


How would you feel about this?  Would it freak you out if you were prescribed a medication that is banned in your home country? 

I dream of burning my husband's comics

I dream of burning my husband's comics. You see, I live in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro.  There's like 1 and a half closets.

He has like 6 boxes of them.  They are all saved for our kids.  And I had to go and encourage him by giving birth to children with penises.

I did managed to send 3 boxes to his parent's house.  They live outside the city and have a proper house.   The boxes are there.  I would have sent them all but it just looked bad.

His parents are very much parents that they encourage him to be happy. Although he never reads his comic books, they make him happy by being in existence.  I argue that even if recycled and created into new and reusable items, they still technically exist.

No dice.  If you marry a person, you have to except them for who they are. My husband is an overly organized pack-rat.  I would almost classify him as a hoarder but he does not save trash, or anything dirty mind you, and has no problem throwing my stuff out.  This is not a hoarder.

And as much as I want to be the "cool" wife, every time I open the cabinet with his comics, I get an urge to just set the entire place ablaze.  Really quite beside the point because where would be live? On the other hand, we wouldn't have any stuff to clean up.

Thank goodness I have no pyro tendencies.

And then add on top of it that Brazilians just aren't good at throwing things away. They don't like to buy used and they won't throw it out unless it literally gives them the finger and walks out the door. I wouldn't be surprised if they still followed after it screaming "but we can get you fixed! I know a guy!"

Basically, there is nothing to be done. I so sassily recommended that my husband put up a shelf in the boys' room, since the comics are for them, and line up all the comics. It'll look cool and lower the risk of molding in the humid climate.

What was his response?  'You just want the cabinet space! What will you put there anyway'

Of course, I could only answer 'Stuff.'  Sorry Rachel, wrong answer.

So, he's keeping it there to spite me.  It must be out of spite because there is nothing that this man loves more than drilling holes in the wall. Mr. Rant, I know you are out there reading this.  Go do your thing to that wall, you sexy Mr.  Drill the crap out of it!  Then put in the shelf, nice and level, just like you like it.

And how nice will those Batman, X-Men, and other comics look on display.  How jealous the other 4 year olds and your friends will be.  Their wives and Moms would never let them have that in their house.

And that readers, is how you go from wanting to burn your husbands belongings to becoming the cool wife/mother.

Live and learn baby.

Hell has Frozen Over and There is Nothing to Do

I'm dying in the country. Well, not literally dying. I'm dying of boredom!  And so are my kids.

First off, we are not used to cold. And it is COLD outside. That takes the fun away from the swing sets and makes it all but impossible for this Mom to sit and supervise.  I end up zoning out and almost passing into a freezing-my-ass-off coma.

And there is nothing to do otherwise. I swear, everyone in this town must spend their summers roaming the cornfields and going to Target.  That or underage drinking.

But it's not all small town America's fault.  Rio de Janeiro has turned me into a city girl. I enjoy walking everywhere, besides cornfields. I love that I can run down from my apartment and pick up just about anything in less then 10 minutes.

I adore that I do not have to use my car on a daily basis.  It makes me tingle that I can go to a multitude of parks, museums, nature walks, malls, movies, or restaurants with little to no effort.

I dig that the beach is so close, that I don't even have to bring chairs if I don't want to, and that there's a guy selling cold beer by 930am.

Ok, am I a city girl or a Rio de Janeiro city girl?

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the country. I really love to get out of the city... for a long weekend.  Maybe for 2 weeks.  I could even do a month if it's warm.

But 6 weeks in the middle of nowhere, in the cold, is a lot to ask for.

So I will not be moving to the little town in the middle of small town America where my parents live. I will visit. I love a good visit to the Grandma and Grandpa, as do my kids.

However, I do think it may be wise, do to our accustomed body temperatures, to save these special visits until spring.

Win win for all involved.

So any ideas to help me and two active little boys survive?

Target is my Happiest Place on Earth.

My kids come to the US and they turn into little consumers. "I want this" and "I want that."  It's hilarious at first and horrendous by the end. 

And it's all my fault, to say the least.  As an expat living in Rio de Janeiro, a panic floods goes over me the moment I enter into a store such as target.  Where to go! What to buy!  How to pack it all up!

So much stuff and for so few dollars. I don't even know which section to start in.  Brazilians fly up to go to Disneyland and outlet shops. I come home to go to Target and the grocery store. 

Of course there are the practical purchases such as electronics and baby gear.  Those items are worth triple their value in Brazil.  Then there's the stupid stuff. 

I bought pans, non stick, KitchenAid pans and ziplock bags. Then there are the cloth fold down kid toy boxes for storage.  I also purchased cotton granny panties for those special granny pantie days (my ass could never fit the Brazilian version of the granny pantie).  Jeans, socks, skincare, and toys are some of the many items we'll be lugging home.

Thank goodness for Christmas, sales, and a 70lb luggage limit when you buy your tickets originating in Brazil. 

Toys are a big kicker. I have two boys and they aren't babies anymore. They get hardly anything all year.  And that's because toys are EXPENSIVE!  So much so that one day I may tell my children to use... gasp... their imagination. 

So when they show me this very cool toy and ask if it's too much money, I have a hard time saying it is. FYI, my typical Brazilian store response is that it costs too much to buy and No.  

Here it's honestly hard to say that. It's like last stop shopping.  Who knows when we'll be back and there's no way in toy store hell that I'm buying these kinds of toys in Brazil.

Thus, I compulsively let them put their choices into the cart. Once it's there, it stays. Taking it out because sense kicks in makes me feel like a dick tease only with children and toys.  Better yet, a toy tease. 

Wishy washy does not a good parent make.  So I sucked it up and let them walk out with, once again, a new toy each. Under $20 and smaller than the one they originally asked for, like it makes a difference.

Oh well, all the noes in Rio de Janeiro should wash off all the spoiled of the US. 

Honestly, it's kind of nice to be able to spoil the little guys every once in a while.  Goodness knows their Father and I are spoiling ourselves!

My Little Card Shark

My son has turned into a card shark. I don't know if I should be proud of him or embarrassed. It is nice that he has a potential source of income and is only 4 years old. 

Here's how it is. He loves himself a good game of Uno or War.  He will explain all the rules to you, down to how you can not use a Draw 4 if you have any of the color being played in your hand.  He is honest.  That is, unless you let him "shuffle"

He stacks the deck.  The little booger stacks the deck and looks at you, with his big green eyes, and exclaims "Look, I shuffled all by myself!" 

You really don't want to squash their spirit so you go with it.  That is, until, you realize that every time he "shuffles" he gets 3 wilds and a couple of draw 2s.  In War, it's aces and Kings.

So the card shark is no longer allowed to shuffle.

Just wait until we introduce Monopoly.  He's SO NOT going to be the banker!

Eating on a Jet Plane

I got to fly the infamous American Domestic flight yesterday. It's been a few years now and I forgot that things had changed.

So I revert a smidgen upon arrival in the US. Call it the giddy American girl who forgets she exists until she crosses the "Welcome to Houston, Texas" sign.  I remember customer service and that I am always right. It just makes me so pleased my panties tie up in a bundle.

We get on our second flight and I'm reminded by the flight attendant that there is no snack on board. I am more than welcome to buy one. That pisses me off. No snack?! No nuts?!  No crackers?!  Really, you can't afford to give a girl a cracker?  I then see everyone else pulling out subway and packed sandwiches. They were prepared.

See, right there. That was the American girl who snuck in and got a bit cranky over a cracker.  Actually, it was more about what she is entitled to seeing how much she spent for that flight.

Oh there she goes again.

Anyway, that's when it hits me, it's a 2.5 hr flight.  2.5 hours people.  You don't need to eat.  I seriously doubt every person on that plane had some sort of glucose disorder or was on a body builder's diet of 6 small evenly distributed meals.

The problem is, we Americans feel the need to eat when we sit.  It's very much a, oh I'm sitting so to compensate I should put something in my mouth. Maybe that's why there so much alcohol consumption and sex on American campuses.

And I fall for it too. Whatever will I do with myself and my 2 kids on a 2.5 hour flight without a fridge, pantry full of food, and/or a waiter.

Regardless, we survived. Yes, I bought the damn crackers. I have kids people and I neglected to pack them lunch. Bad Mommy.

Let's just hope I can remember a little of the Brazilian and keep my mouth closed, that is unless there's an actual meal in front of me, a cold beer, a kid not wearing socks, or  a hot guy I need to grunt at.

Fingers crossed!

What's Your School Uniform?

 School/daycare in Rio de Janeiro took some getting used to.   Not the system or teachers but the bathing. 

I really didn't know how to handle it when I found out that the daycare my 1 year old was in was giving him a bath every day. I was like, say what?! 

It went something like this:

Rants "Why do you need to bath him?"
School "It's hot and they are sweaty."
Rants "So, I'll bath him when he gets home. It's weird"
School "Why is it weird?"
Rants "How do I know someone isn't doing something they shouldn't"
School "What are you talking about"
Rants "I'm talking about with my child! In a bath!"
School "What's wrong with you, you sick bastard?!"

The weirdest part of the whole conversation was that it all happened inside my head.  I never actually confronted the school. They bathed each and every child after lunch and before nap.  Everyone under the sun, including the parking guy if anyone asked, considered it a given. 

Crazy American Mom not bathing her child 3 times a day, especially before nap and bedtime... and after the park, after eating a messy meal, and we can't forget before seeing Grandma.

Now this boy is older and in a proper school. Guess what, they run around in their underwear when it starts getting hot here. That or their speedo which is basically the same thing. The littler girls also run around in underwear and the bigger ones in bikinis. This goes up through 1st and 2nd grade.  Maybe a little higher.

And you know what, I think it rocks. It is hotter than hell. Why shouldn't my kid be able to play outside in as little as possible, all bits covered of course. My youngest, in the infant 1 class, does get a bath on particularly messy or sweaty days.  They also let the kids up to 4 years old spend 30 min in the "aquatic park" aka 2 blow up pools and a hose. 

It took some getting used, I must say.  Initially, the idea of my kid running around his school in his underwear or in just his shorts (no shirt) seemed wrong.  Why are you taking off his clothes!

But that's the thing, they aren't taking off their clothes to take off their clothes.  They are letting the kids be more comfortable.  That and Brazilians have a HUGE obsession with bathing, especially in the summer. Any good school would help the younger ones stay clean and feel more comfortable.  The older kids can fend for themselves.

Plus kids, especially small ones, are treated like Deities. I really wouldn't be that surprised if I found my youngest's class of 1 year olds sitting on grape leaves being spoon fed jello.  And of course there would be someone fanning them.  Duh.

You melt here. It literally gets uncomfortable to just be.  It would be a crime of Brazilian nature to let a child feel that way. And heaven forbid one stays dirty.

Warning: Mommy Post

My oldest went to his first sleep over.  He's sleeping like a baby... at someone else's house.

All went successful, per any Mother's hope.  He was a true blue ham, as his bloodline dictates.  And you know what, I'm very pleased.

I'm also a tad, irrationally, unnerved that he didn't ask for Mommy. I know that it's a good thing. He's well adjusted and is comfortable. Obviously, the choice of where the first sleep over takes place is a big key.  He's in very good hands. 

And so it starts.  This little person you carried with you, feeling every move and hiccup.  The one who's cough kept you, not them, up all night out of unfounded concern.  He's growing up to be social, comfortable, and happy to explore different things.  Essentially, he's growing up.

You joke as a Mom about how it'll be when they are independent, about how they will eventually forget you exist except for when you are out of food.   You talk about how one day you'll be able to sleep in and go out when you want. 

But really, you watch every move.  You watch every single move and cringe when you think it may hurt. Let me rephrase that, when you think there is a slight possibility that they could possibly get hurt.  That goes with mind, body, or spirit.  And the spirit is a doozy. Thankfully, they don't know how fragile it is. 

So I cringed walking him to his sleep over. I fought my desire to say 'You can call Mommy anytime to pick you up!'  Why plant the negative. Just because I hated sleep overs until I was like 21 doesn't mean he'll have an issue with it. 

And it's a very accomplishing feeling to see your kid adapt to a new situation with ease.  At the same time, you feel a little sand slip from your fingers.

Thank goodness I'm not the type to try to hold onto it.  Sand should be held in an easy hand, being allowed to go where the wind takes it.  I fight the urge to hold onto it daily.  But I figure, isn't the goal of picking up sand in the first place, to see the beauty in how it slides out from your fingers?

I Hate Packing!

I hate packing. I seriously, utterly despise the act of putting things into suitcases.  And it has only gotten worse now that I belong to a family of 4.

There's the stuff you have to bring. Like little Jimmy is really going to cry if we forget Bear.  Need bear. Oh and Bobby has that issue with allergies so we need to bring the nebulizer.  We can't forget pretty shoes for everyone, just in case we actually go somewhere nice. 

Don't even get me started on carry-ons. It's like packing for a wilderness retreat but not really knowing if you are headed to the mountains or the beach.  Are they going to feel like coloring? Will they actually watch the inflight video or should we bring our own? Playdoh or Playno? And snacks.  They will get hungry. Must have snacks. Diapers, extra clothes for them, and extra clothes for me. Trust me, the moment you do not bring extra clothes is the moment your child starts to have motion sickness. No one, not the person sitting to your left, not you, nor your child wants to sit next to someone that smells like the inside of a stomach.

Oh and medicine.  The magic medicine. I always have space for you baby.

When it comes down to it, you can always buy what you forget. At least in the States anyway. I know this but I'm not made of money, no matter how much I attempt to meditate on it.  I never should have read The Secret. Damn you Oprah! **

Anyway, I have one bag down and good golly I have no idea how many more to go.  Let's just pretend and say I like to pack light, or pack lazy.  Take it as you will. 

**I took artistic license there. I have never read that book and my pride wouldn't let me let you think I have.

City Girl goes Country, kind of

I had my first ever visit to a hotel fazenda, which is a hotel on a farm. It's pretty popular down here.  I mean, I wouldn't say it's the new black or anything, but maybe the knew brown. 

I know what you are thinking, why in the hell would you vacation on a farm?!  I was curious about this as well.  I believe it to be a Club Med farm experience. A little more rustic, very little rules, and drinks for Mom and Dad.  Fun for the whole family.

It is quite an experience.  We're talking grass as far as the eye can see.  That was the biggest excitement for my youngest. You know they've been living in a big city for too long when they get stoked on grass, and not the kind you smoke. 

There was a whole adaptation process. First, curiosity.  What is that and can I touch it? Second, acceptance. I can touch it! Third, love. Not only can I touch it, I can roll in it, eat it, and I'll never put my shoes on again. 

I really do recommend this for family and friends alike.  It's great to get out of the hot sweaty city to the breezy warm country. A nice dip in the pool and the warm scent of cow manure will take the edge off of any city girl.

Bope Going to War

Early this morning, we heard the sirens of the police.  It turns out it was the Bope, and they were ready for war.  Neighbors from other buildings also looked down to see the Bope trucks with the flatbeds full of Bope men, many with their faces painted.

They are going to war.

A Bope yelled, his fist in the air. The rest of the truck followed.  A neighbor clapped in response and it started a commotion. With each truck, the few but spirited neighbors cheered for the men. The men cheered back. 

I even had a moment. I was in the window with my two boys. We were cheering for our men before they went into war.  One looked right at the boys and I, smiled a proud smile, and waved.  It almost brought a tear to my eye.

Just like the American troops, the Bope are going into war.  It's not their fault there's a war, they are just the men Rio de Janeiro puts in to fight their physical battle. Regardless of the politics, the is it or isn't it of this situation in Rio de Janeiro, these men are going to war. They are putting their life on the line.  They deserve our cheers!

Because it was too good not to post

What would you do for a dishwasher?

A fellow expat and Mommy blogger, Stay at Home Babe, got me thinking about dishes. Hell, life got me thinking about dishes. Living in Rio de Janeiro means I do not have a dishwasher, not even the human one.  Well, I can't lie, I do have a maid twice a week who absorbs my dish washing and other household duties.  I love my Mondays and Thursdays and I love my maid!

Anyway, there are two things that take a lot of my time and energy.  One, as you have obviously guessed, is washing dishes.  The other is...

Who am I kidding?  I have a huge list! I'm a mother of 2 kids under 5 and I don't have the typical daily or live in help.  I dream of pimping my house.  Screw date nights, nice clothes, and jewelry.  I want appliances!  I want a dishwasher, dryer, water heater (not these damn gas ones!), central air, and a garbage disposal... oh that last one got me a little hot just thinking about it. 

I think I've come up with a reasonable argument for buying these items. It's one I think my husband will relate to on a personal level.  If I should get them, I will be so happy and have so much more free time that he'll probably get laid daily for several months.  Hell, I'll make it a year and throw in twice weekly nooners.  Oh yes, we're talking sexual bribery. Is there any other kind in a marriage?

What appliances would you sleep with your husband/partner/live-in to get?