Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I dream of burning my husband's comics

I dream of burning my husband's comics. You see, I live in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro.  There's like 1 and a half closets.

He has like 6 boxes of them.  They are all saved for our kids.  And I had to go and encourage him by giving birth to children with penises.

I did managed to send 3 boxes to his parent's house.  They live outside the city and have a proper house.   The boxes are there.  I would have sent them all but it just looked bad.

His parents are very much parents that they encourage him to be happy. Although he never reads his comic books, they make him happy by being in existence.  I argue that even if recycled and created into new and reusable items, they still technically exist.

No dice.  If you marry a person, you have to except them for who they are. My husband is an overly organized pack-rat.  I would almost classify him as a hoarder but he does not save trash, or anything dirty mind you, and has no problem throwing my stuff out.  This is not a hoarder.

And as much as I want to be the "cool" wife, every time I open the cabinet with his comics, I get an urge to just set the entire place ablaze.  Really quite beside the point because where would be live? On the other hand, we wouldn't have any stuff to clean up.

Thank goodness I have no pyro tendencies.

And then add on top of it that Brazilians just aren't good at throwing things away. They don't like to buy used and they won't throw it out unless it literally gives them the finger and walks out the door. I wouldn't be surprised if they still followed after it screaming "but we can get you fixed! I know a guy!"

Basically, there is nothing to be done. I so sassily recommended that my husband put up a shelf in the boys' room, since the comics are for them, and line up all the comics. It'll look cool and lower the risk of molding in the humid climate.

What was his response?  'You just want the cabinet space! What will you put there anyway'

Of course, I could only answer 'Stuff.'  Sorry Rachel, wrong answer.

So, he's keeping it there to spite me.  It must be out of spite because there is nothing that this man loves more than drilling holes in the wall. Mr. Rant, I know you are out there reading this.  Go do your thing to that wall, you sexy Mr.  Drill the crap out of it!  Then put in the shelf, nice and level, just like you like it.

And how nice will those Batman, X-Men, and other comics look on display.  How jealous the other 4 year olds and your friends will be.  Their wives and Moms would never let them have that in their house.

And that readers, is how you go from wanting to burn your husbands belongings to becoming the cool wife/mother.

Live and learn baby.


  1. "Brazilians don't like to throw stuff away"?
    I have to introduce you to my M O T H E R!!!!!
    I went to School in the US and when I got back there was no a trace of my existence in her house...nothing...all my toys and my C O M I C S.
    Gone, Gone, Gone...
    My mother's favorite hobby is to empty closets!



  2. Really? My Mother-in-law still had my husband's legos that she saved for his kids. And all tax papers from his business. Not to mention any article of clothing ever, in Tupperwares.

    And she isn't bad about it either. She'll totally throw out stuff and buy new things if she needs to. But she does hold onto far more than my Mother.

    Then again, you look left and my Mom will throw away your lunch, while you are eating it. Then she'll go, what, I didn't throw anything away lol

  3. Comic books? Really? How frustrating for you. But are they on the wall now?? Great! Except now you have to look at them every day.

    I wrote a post once about how hard it is to get Alex to throw things away... his real problem is magazines. He buys magazines and piles them up in the closet (same problem) and on the bookshelf. My tactic is to throw 3 or 4 away at a time. Then when he adds more, the pile doesn't get out of control, but I don't throw away enough for him to notice. :)

    Not sure if that would be a good idea with the comics though-- they have series and stuff, right? And some might have more value than others. Throwing away your life savings! ha

  4. He knows every one of his comics and he loves them, so basically I'm screwed. I don't mind them if they are up on a shelf. I think it'll look kind of cool. As long as they aren't sitting in a box taking up space, no problem.

  5. "The Waiting to Exhale" photo is genius !! I knew we must be kindred spirits since I saw you read Dlisted which I read daily for years !!!!