I like it Hot. If I say it enough, I will believe it.

It's hot. Seriously, it's freaking hot down here. The sun is shining, the sky is a gorgeous blue, and my white ass skin is being burnt off.

So dealing with this kind of "wonderful" weather takes some mental focus.  You have to remember the positives. Yes, there are positives to skin melting heat.

For starters, your clothes dry super fast!  I have to hang my clothes to dry and in this heat it takes about 3hours for the light stuff and 5 hours for the heavier things. I'm not even really exaggerating too much here. It dries faster than hell.

No more drying dishes. I wash and leave them to air dry in all of 15 minutes. Awesome blossom.

It's easier to eat healthy in excessively hot weather. Crisp green salads look especially tasty and anything creamy looks like death. Hello two sizes smaller, good to see you again.

You really get to know your body slathering it with sunscreen twice a day.  My saddlebags and I haven't been this close in a long time.  It's good to reconnect with those normally ignored parts of the body.

You can sleep naked and maybe your spouse will think you have back your 20s body confidence. Plus, nude sleeping makes a little something something all that more likely to happen.  Plus your preschooler will now realize that Mommy's boobies are in fact different than Daddy's.

You can drink sweetened homemade iced tea by the bucket full. Is there anything better than that?!

Let's also not forget the 5 minutes you save each morning not putting on make up. Why bother when it's going to melt off anyway.

So there you have it. I like to say these things aloud each morning before my pose and I face the hell of the hot that is Rio de Janeiro summer.  It's like a mantra: I like this weather. It's good to be active. I like this weather. I will leave the house.

What positives can you find about this kind of ridiculously hot weather?

I've Been Cheating on All of You

I cheated on you, my Dear Readers.  You see, I posted on other sites.  No, not about Rio.  I wrote for a Mommy site and an Expat in France blog too.

I know what you are thinking.  How could I do that to you? To us?

It was nothing personal. One thing let to another... And when the opportunity arose to "score" a post, I went for it.

At least I'm being honest with you. That should count for something. Hell, I'll even let you check out the little things I did.

Nobody Told me I'd Look Forward to a Quickie

Brazilian Holiday

The second link, the Expat in France one, is a repost of an old post of mine. So not quite as bad. It's kind of like sloppy post seconds. I know it doesn't make it any better per se, but I did pick you first.

And I always will baby...

So check them out.  Once you do, you'll understand why I did it. They are cool, witty, and pretty just like you.  

Really World, I think it's time

People, it's time to legalize the good stuff. Oh, I'm serious here and I'm not talking about bacon. 

Rio de Janeiro just got into a war with drug traffickers, Willie Nelson was arrested, and even Mommy bloggers are talking about how they used the stuff to combat morning sickness.  It's time to stop the madness!

So what is a girl to do?  Legalize Marijuana!  For goodness sake, cigarettes are legal and smoking those is like sucking on an exhaust pipe full of rat poop.  Oh, people can kill themselves slowly but they can't get happy while they do it? I don't see the contradiction in that at all.

The thing is, weed would be one hell of a cash crop.  Just think about it, Rio de Janeiro just arrested all those drug traffickers.  Let's put their knowledge to good use.  Bust out some fields, make them work it as community service while serving time, roll 'em up, box 'em, and then tax the crap out of them.  Do governments not realize how many people would be stoners if it were socially acceptable?  We're talking an end to National Debt.

And on a side note, cut out the middle man. If our kids want to get some of Puff the Magic Dragon's treats, let them get it from a safe place. Nothing safer than a gas station. It's my bunker of choice.  And cut out the connection to harder drugs.  Once your kid has a dealer, it's only a matter of time until other drugs come up in the conversation. Ok, that's really apples and oranges, peaches and tires, but maybe there's some logic in there somewhere.  

I'm just saying, Legalize Marijuana as a Method to Reduce Crime rate and make a little cash while the Government is at it. 

What are your thoughts on the legalization of Marijuana?

What would you do for a dishwasher?

A fellow expat and Mommy blogger, Stay at Home Babe, got me thinking about dishes. Hell, life got me thinking about dishes. Living in Rio de Janeiro means I do not have a dishwasher, not even the human one.  Well, I can't lie, I do have a maid twice a week who absorbs my dish washing and other household duties.  I love my Mondays and Thursdays and I love my maid!

Anyway, there are two things that take a lot of my time and energy.  One, as you have obviously guessed, is washing dishes.  The other is...

Who am I kidding?  I have a huge list! I'm a mother of 2 kids under 5 and I don't have the typical daily or live in help.  I dream of pimping my house.  Screw date nights, nice clothes, and jewelry.  I want appliances!  I want a dishwasher, dryer, water heater (not these damn gas ones!), central air, and a garbage disposal... oh that last one got me a little hot just thinking about it. 

I think I've come up with a reasonable argument for buying these items. It's one I think my husband will relate to on a personal level.  If I should get them, I will be so happy and have so much more free time that he'll probably get laid daily for several months.  Hell, I'll make it a year and throw in twice weekly nooners.  Oh yes, we're talking sexual bribery. Is there any other kind in a marriage?

What appliances would you sleep with your husband/partner/live-in to get?

The Mommies are returning to Rio de Janeiro

Yeah! My Mommy friends are finally returning to the city!  I know only half of us traveled for the North American/European summer, but our little group can't seem to get together without all members.

It's amazing.  Our Mommy group was only created last July and I am already attached. Nothing like other Moms to help fill up those days where you just can't figure out what on Earth to do with your kids. You can really only go to the same parks so many times over a month without everyone getting bored. I think my boys are going to bitch slap me if we show up at the Fluminense park again this week. 

And it wasn't just the practical part that I missed. I missed their company!  My Mommy friends are great people to chat with. We can discuss movies, art, travel, vomit, poop, milestones, and wine. It's a great combination for any modern day Mom. 

So ladies, we are far past due for a play date!  Actually, FAR past due for a brunch!

Calling all Mommies, it's time for us to get together!

Mommy is done

Being a mother is great. I love it. But there are times I wish I had a flashing sign that said closed or even no vacancies.  I'm tired of worrying about what food is and is not eaten. How many veggies vs how many fruits consumed. Are they drinking too much milk?  Oh dear that poop was way too soft? Is 7 poops in a day normal?  Have they gotten cuddled enough?

I'm tired of figuring out how to explain to a 3 yr old what is inside of us. What is inside a tree. What is under the ground, and when you manage to answer that, what is under that.  I'm tired of figuring out when we should wean off the bottle and how. How to get a pacie away. Why should we even take it away?  Are they going to take it to college? If they do, doesn't it really become their problem and not mine? 

How do I know when and how they are supposed to sleep?  What wolverine figurine wants for dinner?  How to get them to actually sit at a table?  How am I supposed to do all this and keep my place from looking like a toxic waste dump? 

The crazy thing is I do know how.  And if I don't I figure it out.  And I do have a sign. It says Open 24 hours including Christmas. 

And you know what, I love it.  I LOVE it! But today I'm tired. And right now, at 7:01pm, I'm on break.  I'll be back at 7:02pm. Kids, please try not to kill anyone.