Friday, February 24, 2012

The Latin Man


I'm going to start by saying that Mr. Rant is a very involved Father and Husband. He plays with the kids, helps with the kiddo responsibilities, and even does stuff around the house.

That being said, he is still very much a Latin Man.

What do I mean by that? Well, let me explain. You see, this weekend we took a Latin woman friend and her kids out to the country with us. At one point I was annoyed with Mr Rant, which is not uncommon while staying at his Mother's place, when my friend pointed out that I married a Latin Man.

Alright, I'm seeing that I didn't clear anything up there. My point, Latin men are incredibly spoiled by their female family members.

Take Mr. Rant at his Mother's house. The kind of lazy that takes him over is mind boggling. It is as if he forgets that he has children to take care of. Actually, it's more like his Mother expects him to relax and let her and I take care of them.

The problem here is that I am not a Latin woman. That is not going to fly in that if you don't get off your ass and remember that I am not the only one capable of serving juice to small ones your ass is going to go flying right out that window over there.

It is just amazing how time turns back and my husband and his brother become 15 upon crossing the threshold. Sure Mr Rant does play with the kids and, at this point in our marriage, is pretty good at remembering that he is married with children even though he is at his Mother's place. Although there is still a sense of entitlement towards pampering.

Take this weekend. Mr Rant sprained his ankle while snowboarding and thus couldn't go on the hike to the waterfall with the group. He stayed back home and napped with my friend's baby, and took care of the little guy when he woke up. I will say, Mr Rant knows his way around babies.

Anyway, upon our  return and after eating lunch, Mr. Rant declared that he needed a nap... Let me rephrase that, another nap. I laughed. He had to be kidding. I had done everything at that point with our kids and he needed ANOTHER nap?! 15 minutes later I couldn't find him. Low and behold he was napping in his Mother's bed with Mommy.

While I get that we were at my MIL and he did have that life threatening sprained ankle, enough is really enough. I am calling for equal opportunity spoiling! Momma needs a nap!

44 comments:

  1. Ever watched everybody loves raymond?

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    1. Yes but that is not nearly as common!

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  2. Sigh. My heart goes out to you! Good luck with that.

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  3. I request a password protected support section!

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    1. I guess Anon, means a secured area where people can vent their frustation with Latin male behaviour...

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    2. lol. I get it now! Thanks Marcio. Anon, the Anon is the protection ;)

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    3. Sorry for the confusion, once upon a time that was true Rachel but your blog has become too popular! I would love to swap Carioca love/MIL stories ...but like an airport VIP room I dream of a safe room of RNE carrying club members only:-) In my experience, brazilian families have amazing big hearts but they also have a subtle art of revenge when wounded that scares the "@&$ out of me!

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  4. Let us know how it goes with the EOPC (equal Opportunity Pampering Commission)

    PS- IDK if everyone is seeing, this, but is your banner pic gone/missing?

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    1. I saw that too. I have to get in and fix it. I have a custom made backdrop/banner and I have to see what has happened. Bit difficult since the boys are home today.

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  5. HOW cute!!

    sounds like any jewish family to me :)

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    1. Anon,

      My thoughts exactly. This has Jewish family written all over it. :)

      Ray

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  6. disclaimer: as a Brazilian male I am guilty as charged. I know I will get pampered on my parents house and so will my wife on my MIL house...

    I imagine that your frustration is compounded with the lack of support you would get if you were to vent to your Brazilian girl-friends they will probably give you a blank stare or do a version of "Well, it's to be expected"

    the moderator in me (I grew up in Minas) would say to you that he probably think he does a lot more than the typical Brazilian and that he does it out of love and appreciation for you!

    Any way, I hope you work this out with your Mr Rant and if he is being stubborn you can always withhold sex! works like a charm, as you probably know (just don't over do it, you don't want a sex-starved husband during summer in Brazil... too much temptations)

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    1. He has actually said exactly that, he does far more than the normal Brazilian man.

      It's true, I only get Motherly babying once a year. I do miss it.

      And with this losing battle, I have to get a little joy by poking fun out of it. Although I do hope to not be so so so babying with my boys (though I may lose that battle;)

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    2. LOL, I used the same "I do more than..." card a few times myself...


      Don't tell my wife but a good counter is to remind him that he got more than the typical Brazil women, he married you, his choice - If the wanted to married the run of the mill he should have married a carioca ;)

      Before I get into trouble with any zealot brazilian/carioca, This is not a diss on cariocas... I am happily married to one, she is just great.

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  7. Hahaha!

    Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you, it's just that, well... I completely understand. Sigh. It is probably a losing battle, but one we won't stop fighting.

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  8. This is interesting to read because I never experienced this. My husband doesn't have parents so I don't have to deal with a MIL or any of this pampering.

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    1. I suppose it's nice to not have to deal with over pampering and spoiling but not at the cost of the Mother. Poor guy, does he miss them terribly?

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    2. I;m in the same boat, Meredith. The pampering is left-over patriarchy and oppression of women. Sad that it still has such a hold here in Brazil. This 'problem' went out with my grandparents.

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  9. Rachel,

    Think on the bright side, you will be able to be taking "naps" with your boys in the future too! Even when they have wives and kids! ;)

    Ray

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    1. That is true! Of course I like to lie to myself and think that I would send my son and his wife to nap and stay up and take care of the kids ;)

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  10. I still think its the most hilarious thing in the world that grown children nap with their parents. I mean, I'm 20 and I haven't even taken a nap for 15 years let alone take a nap with my mommy.

    Although it does sound kind of cute...

    Here in Amurika, the girls are the spoiled ones. They can do anything they want and will hardly ever get in trouble. Guys on the other hand are always wrong and stupid no matter what we do... le sigh.

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  11. It's not just a Brazillian thing, my husband is South African, and turns into a giant baby when we go to visit his parents. MIL fusses over him, pampers him, does everything for him (she even irons his underwear! I kid ye not!) and I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a terrible wife because I don't treat him like this! Apparently it's also a South African/Afrikaans thing, a lot of my friends say the same about their husband's/MIL.

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  12. Dear God, Rachel, that picture is so disturbing! Where do you find these perfect matches for your post themes? hehehe

    I feel for you about the Latin Man Syndrome. Good luck!

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  13. hahaha that is how my husband is when his momma comes visits from Brazil! The weirdest thing was when his mom joined us in bed to chit chat! That is when I knew I was really married to a Brazilian mommas boy!

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  14. You didn't marry a Latin man, you married a MAN! ha ha just kidding! Napping in bed with his mom though takes the cake! oy vay

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  15. "I am calling for equal opportunity spoiling!"

    Interesting: instead of fighting over something that is ingrained why not quantify it - the weekend at MIL pampering - and cash in those points on a girl's night out, or some alone time so you can just wander off somewhere ( spend the day at a museum for example).

    Btw Rachel I think this may be of interest to you.

    http://careers.state.gov/CALNAPY

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  16. This post speaks my language. Though we dont have kids yet, I watch when my brother and sister in law come over to mom's house. It makes me crazy. When we first moved here I used to get so frustrated...all of a sudden he couldn't do anything. he couldn't find anything. the only thing he could do well was say... o mae...mae?

    These days things are quite different, thank goodness. im interested to see what will happen when we have kids.

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  17. tell me they are as incredible in bed as the stereotype says, because otherwise, really.

    also? my mil has the same attitude about my partner and her sister. nothing makes my teeth bare quite like it.

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    1. Can't say for other Brazilians but that part does seriously make up for it ;)

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  18. Does anyone else find this behavior totally emasculating and a big turn off?? It seems to be the polar opposite of the Brazilian self image of a certain prowess... for me anyway. I find self reliance and an ability to care for children really hot...

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    1. Yes! It really does lower the sexiness quotient.

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  19. Too funny how everyone has exactly the same complaint. Mine's an extremely involved father and husband, totally not the stereotypical Brazilian (in that he cleans way more than I do, although it's true that he cooks only if left to starve)...but still does the EXACT same thing when he arrives at his mom's house. ;) An RNE-carriers' support group is definitely in order!

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    1. Exactly! Mine is the same way. Drives me nuts!

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    2. it almost wouldn't be as annoying if they were like that all the time, right? the fact that they are capable of better but then choose to fall into old routines is what is truly annoying. does your husband know that some woman will read this blog and all the comments someday before marrying a brasileiro and end up cancelling the wedding?! and it will be all his fault... ;)

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  20. This makes me laugh. I have thought forever this was just something with my husband. Now I know I am in good company.

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  21. Ok, folks, I have to say the spirit of the Latin man exists in the US as well, and many Americans are just like the Latin Man as well...
    My best friend in Oklahoma for example, is as American as they come and his moma is exactly the same way with him, including the nap after the Sunday lunch with the family.
    I have friends in Rhode Island that are the same way, mother-son relationship...
    One of my other friends in New York, is the same way, yes, they are Jewish.
    I have another friend in New Jersey, who plays for the New York Yankees, and yes, he takes naps with his momma too.
    The Latin Man syndrome seems to be as American as Chevrolet and Apple Pie...

    ;)

    Ray

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  22. Your first point of reference is Oklahoma?

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