Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Mommy is done

Being a mother is great. I love it. But there are times I wish I had a flashing sign that said closed or even no vacancies.  I'm tired of worrying about what food is and is not eaten. How many veggies vs how many fruits consumed. Are they drinking too much milk?  Oh dear that poop was way too soft? Is 7 poops in a day normal?  Have they gotten cuddled enough?

I'm tired of figuring out how to explain to a 3 yr old what is inside of us. What is inside a tree. What is under the ground, and when you manage to answer that, what is under that.  I'm tired of figuring out when we should wean off the bottle and how. How to get a pacie away. Why should we even take it away?  Are they going to take it to college? If they do, doesn't it really become their problem and not mine? 

How do I know when and how they are supposed to sleep?  What wolverine figurine wants for dinner?  How to get them to actually sit at a table?  How am I supposed to do all this and keep my place from looking like a toxic waste dump? 

The crazy thing is I do know how.  And if I don't I figure it out.  And I do have a sign. It says Open 24 hours including Christmas. 

And you know what, I love it.  I LOVE it! But today I'm tired. And right now, at 7:01pm, I'm on break.  I'll be back at 7:02pm. Kids, please try not to kill anyone. 


  1. think of it this way. one day they will be changing YOUR diaper. payback's a bitch.

  2. I am already planning on going into their room at 3am when they are about 14 yrs old just to snuggle. I'm going to wake them just to tell them I missed them. Payback is a bith ;)

  3. Oh, and I will refuse to wear diapers at night and will wake Isabela up in the middle of the night so that she can take me to the bathroom, then I'll ask for a gallon of water bc I'm just too thirsty and finally will refuse to go back to my own bed until I need to pee again bc I drank a gallon of water. And if I ever call on her and somebody else comes, I'll just throw the biggest tantrum in geriatric history until she comes in personally and does everything with me. Did I mention I'll have Alzheimers? It's in the family, so payback here is a known bitch and we're all getting ready for our share.

  4. Because you share my sense of humor