My kid crapped on the sidewalk. Oh yes, he pulled a move that flustered the crap out of me (or him depending on how you look at it).
You see, my 2 yr old has entered the potty training stage. It's a moment that horrifies the strongest of us Mommies as it is the most inconvenient thing in the world. This really does go double in Rio de Janeiro. Not only are there a lack of public bathrooms, most are not really where you would like your adorable toddler's toosh to sit. Hey, and even when there's a good one it could be closed for no reason at all.
So when I saw my little one take the squat position next to the benches by the play area, I panicked like a virgin. I literally picked him up by the armpits and spun him around in a circle while I looked for a good option. There were none. The Mommies, always an understanding bunch, pointed me to the semi-isolated tree. I ran but the worst was already done. The pee tree could not save me.
Yes, a pee tree. Seeing that there are no easy access bathrooms near the play area, many Moms and Nannies have allowed kids to pee on the tree. Don't you dare judge us until you are in our position. Pee happens a lot, especially in hot climates where children drink a ton of water.
Poop is a different story however. Of course the worst was past, or so I thought. I was offered baggies from two friends. We all try to be somewhat prepared for this kind of thing. Of course I wasn't today. As I tried to find the last of whatever wipies remained in the stroller, quick poo number two plopped out onto the sidewalk.
I was without words or actions. There were no hoses, or anywhere to wash it into. A bucket of water would only bring it closer to the kids playing in the sand. With the help of some equally stumped friends, we covered it with a newspaper. The plan developed from there and the majority was wiped with said newspaper while the rest was covered in sand. There's a theory behind this but I'm sure you really don't want to know.
The beauty in all this is that at least we weren't in the US. I feel my child and I would have been excommunicated from the sacred church of the park. Here my friends mocked me in a good spirited way. The way one does when they are eternally grateful that it's not them in the situation.
Before you get horrified by my story, check out China!
I just hope this isn't a sign of how my week is going to go.