Monday, April 18, 2011

Shit Happens especially on Mondays

My kid crapped on the sidewalk. Oh yes, he pulled a move that flustered the crap out of me (or him depending on how you look at it).

You see, my 2 yr old has entered the potty training stage. It's a moment that horrifies the strongest of us Mommies as it is the most inconvenient thing in the world. This really does go double in Rio de Janeiro. Not only are there a lack of public bathrooms, most are not really where you would like your adorable toddler's toosh to sit. Hey, and even when there's a good one it could be closed for no reason at all.

So when I saw my little one take the squat position next to the benches by the play area, I panicked like a virgin. I literally picked him up by the armpits and spun him around in a circle while I looked for a good option. There were none. The Mommies, always an understanding bunch, pointed me to the semi-isolated tree.  I ran but the worst was already done. The pee tree could not save me.

Yes, a pee tree. Seeing that there are no easy access bathrooms near the play area, many Moms and Nannies have allowed kids to pee on the tree. Don't you dare judge us until you are in our position. Pee happens a lot, especially in hot climates where children drink a ton of water.

Poop is a different story however. Of course the worst was past, or so I thought. I was offered baggies from two friends. We all try to be somewhat prepared for this kind of thing. Of course I wasn't today. As I tried to find the last of whatever wipies remained in the stroller, quick poo number two plopped out onto the sidewalk.

I was without words or actions. There were no hoses, or anywhere to wash it into. A bucket of water would only bring it closer to the kids playing in the sand. With the help of some equally stumped friends, we covered it with a newspaper. The plan developed from there and the majority was wiped with said newspaper while the rest was covered in sand. There's a theory behind this but I'm sure you really don't want to know.

The beauty in all this is that at least we weren't in the US. I feel my child and I would have been excommunicated from the sacred church of the park. Here my friends mocked me in a good spirited way. The way one does when they are eternally grateful that it's not them in the situation.

Before you get horrified by my story, check out China!

I just hope this isn't a sign of how my week is going to go. 


  1. oh wow. I'd have been mortified... and as we're currently potty training, you've now given me one more horror-scenario to worry about ;) thankfully we ARE in the U.S. and there ARE lots of public restrooms... I'll use that to calm me down when I start to panic about these potential occurrences :) hope your shitty day only gets better!! xo

  2. No judging from me! I would've done exactly the same as you did.

    We actually "regressed" into a pullup for our first month in Rio exactly because of the lack of public bathrooms and because the few that I did see didn't exactly inspire me to bring my little one in there.

    It's hard to always be prepared for any accident when out and about with kids, especially when they're in the middle of potty training. Moms already have to lug around enough stuff!

    Have you heard of the Kalencom portable potty? We got ours on amazon. Very handy when going to the park, long road trips, etc. and even good for bigger kids. They fold up compactly and convert into a potty ring for a real toilet! (No, I don't work for or own stock in them! ;-))

  3. I was totally mortified! And I do have one of those potties somewhere... He has been doing so well too! This was totally unexpected.

  4. what a great post! I will never forget the day one of my sons did that for the first time. We had just moved into a new house (in the US) and he was, sadly, used to peeing on the trees in the back yard. So, he thought absolutely nothing of dropping his pants and taking a dump on our very own sidewalk out front when the urge hit him. Why walk 15 feet inside to use the toilet??? Oh my word, I was horrified.

    Same kid who would go pee on trees at parks in the US if I wasn't paying ultra close attention, rather than come tell me and make the 50 foot trek to the park bathroom. -sigh-

    Now I have a little one who thinks nothing of pulling to the side of the road for potty breaks on long (or short) road trips. Hey, it's what you do here....

    Throw a few grocery sacks in your diaper bag, and a pack of wipies. Clean the bum, use the plastic bag as a glove/pick-up factor like picking up dog poop and call it good.

  5. Wow, life in the US must have been horrible for you.

  6. Ha,ha,ha,lol.
    This story reminded me of my little hubby, when he was being potty trained.

    We were on the beach where they have a pool, this is not a tiny pool for toddlers but a big, proper one with sea water, which is being pumped up from the ground!?!don`t ask me how I just heard after this incident.

    My hubby came out of the pool quite happy and proudly showed me the poop,it was floating in the water... I totally panicked. Washed off his toosh,packed my stuff and made a run. I was horrified. Even met a peaceful policeman ( yeah I know,but policemen are peacful in Norway!) on my run and freaked out...

    This happend in my hometown with around 10,000 inhabitants,everyone knows everyone kind of place, I promised myself to never to go back there.

    But I did. 2 years later. It is`nt that many beaches here.
    And what happend,my kid did it in the pool,that is at least what an older friend of his told me.
    I was devastated. How could this happen? I don`t know?
    What I do know, is that we looked for that poopi and we could`nt find it, so I am not sure it actually happend, I decided to belive not.
    Talking about being traumatized...

  7. I guess it has happened to all moms.
    My little daughter once was with me in a chic shop in Belgium and suddenly she looked at me serious, a bit angry, and then became red, darker red and then rolled her eyes up and then... First I thought she would explode but then I thought: "Öh, no !". Too late. So we walked to the next bar/cafe (she with wide open legs) where I removed the huge tennis ball from her underwear.
    P.S.: I am very surprised about the Chinese children pants. Very.

  8. "Now I have a little one who thinks nothing of pulling to the side of the road for potty breaks on long (or short) road trips. Hey, it's what you do here...."
    Hey, "The Reader", what do you mean by that exactly?
    I am a Paulista, NEVER did that and never ever saw anyone doing it and never heard that is an acceptable thing to do in Brazil, not to mention Sao Paulo.
    I can't stop getting amazed by things I hear in the blogsphere about my own country, things that are bizarre, lots of exaggerations, misconceptions, a lot of guessing and suppositions, not to mention plain and simple MISINFORMATION.
    Maybe some things are true here and there, but NOT in Brazil as a whole, and you don't stop on the side of Bandeirantes, Anhanguera or Dutra highways for your kids to poop or to pee , sorry, that just doesn't happen and if you are doing it, you might be the only one, if this is acceptable in Texas, it is not cool in Sao Paulo.
    Ironically when we lived down in Dallas, TX, we saw a family pulling over on the side of the road, near DFW airport for their children to poop on the side of the road, in plain view of all drivers.
    We were new in the US and were amazed by the disconcerting view, however we never saw that in any other US state and never saw that in Brazil either. It's probably a good idea to train your boys to wait for the proper rest areas and used them ; )

  9. Seriously Anonymous? First,bowel movements are nothing to be ashamed of. Embarrassing, could be. In Rio I have seen adults pull over to pee, in of all places, tunnels!

    I will say that I've never seen this on highways here but I don't do that long of treks by cars. In my experience, people usually stop at the restaurants. In the US, this happens but it's also because US rest stops off highways are not always the nicest place.

    That and kids don't always have to go when it's convenient for the parents.

    As for misconceptions about your country, have you ever stopped to think that different people are capable of seeing different parts. You are from here, I doubt you notice the little "oddities" that others do. Same goes for you in the US. I bet you could point quite a few things out (especially in Texas! Scary state ;)

    As for training my boys, because they are mature navy seals, bite me. I know there's a smiley face but the kid is 2 and had an accident. It was his first since starting to potty train. And it was loose stool. I didn't put that in the post bc it's nasty. It kind of snuck up on everyone but that happens with kids. If you don't realize that then maybe your kids are too high strung to let a poop go or the baba here in Brazil took care of it.

    Sorry, I got low there but no one tells me to train my boys. They are not military personnel and it's not cool to judge a kid and parent for there being an accident.

  10. Rachel,

    Sorry for the misunderstanding, I wasn't refering to your baby boy, what happened to you/him is totally normal and understanding.
    I was refering to The Reader person who said it is "how things are done in Brazil" that she should probably train them and have her boys wait until a rest area to use the restroom.
    I love your blog by the way, I just get really ticked off about some misconceptions being spread around like if they were the truth when it's not the case.

    Peace out ;)

  11. Fair enough. Sorry to get all pissed off. Apparently I take my son's poop really seriously ;)

    Totally understand you hating misconceptions. I'm American, so live that! Then again, sadly, a lot of them aren't quite misconceptions...

    Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting! :)