Cross-Cultural Breastfeeding and The Boob.

Mommy and Son getting a snack together in Brazil

I keep stumbling across articles about mass breastfeeding sit-ins. Women all over the US fighting for their right to breastfeed without discrimination. I find this mind boggling. Never in my experience as a Mother in Rio de Janeiro have I felt discriminated against because of my breastfeeding.

In actuality, I was quite encouraged. Hell, anyone who has seen pictures of the Carnaval parade know that Cariocas aren't afraid of a little boob.

I never even got a sideways glance. Actually, they stared full on. The comfort level was so high that I thought they were going to come and introduce themselves to my girls, give them a high five, and take a picture.

Everyone from the Grandma to the parking guy to the best friend to some random old lady thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Whenever my boy was working the boob people felt the need to come and congratulate me. Not only this, they wanted to stroke the nursing baby's head and give him a kiss. Women would actually take a peek to see if he was a good latcher and then congratulate me more.

Honestly, it was a bit much. Then again, support is support even if it's in the form of a nosy cheerleading squad.

When I finally brought my almost 6 month old bundle to the states for a visit I was prepared to be a bit more modest. I knew the population there preferred their breasts size DD and on anorexic actresses as opposed to on a Mother feeding her baby. I even picked up one of those obnoxious blanket things. But it wasn't enough for some people! Even when I would find an isolated area in a food court and cloak my child like a Middle Eastern woman, I still got crap!

It was such a wake up call for me. On one hand a 15 year old girl could be wearing clothes that would make a tranny hooker blush but what I was doing was inappropriate.

I wanted to take me and my breastfeeding baby back to Brazil where he could eat in peace, but that wouldn't have accomplished anything now would it. Instead I breastfed more. I thoroughly pissed off an older woman at a makeup counter in Nordstrom when I stayed in the little seat and let my boy use my boobs in the way God intended them to be.

Regardless of my defiance, it comes down to education. At some point we Americans decided breastfeeding was indecent. Old men can ogle overly-developing teens but Mothers using them to feed their children are just crossing the line.

Where on Earth did we Mothers get the idea that breasts belong in a baby's mouth?! The insanity! Personally, I blame rap music.

Who is Responsible for Baby Le Moaligou?

I read an article today about a French couple, Joel and Sergine Le Moaligou, who were recently convicted of causing the death of their 11 month old daughter.

These two were "alternative." That in and of itself is a vague classification. I can say, after reading the article, that they were not alternative but were stupid.

There are a couple of arguments going on. One is about the child being exclusively breastfed at 11 months. Look, it's not my cake but I know people who are eating, baking, and selling this cake. Their kids are fine.

Oh but the Mother was Vegan. Oh my God! She did not eat animal products! Then she must be weak and vitamin deficient. You know, it far from my diet but I would not assume all that.

If done well, a Vegan diet can be even better than a diet full of meat. For starters, oh the fiber. We meat eaters have a bit of an issue with getting the right amount. And, FYI, there are other forms of protein, Iron, and B12. I couldn't tell you what they are but they exist.

So the logical question is, am I defending these people? Hell no! I think they have left over sacks of crazy to sell to others. The thing that gets me is that they did not get their child treated when she did not flourish.

The little girl was losing weight and had been diagnosed with pneumonia. Would a sane person then ignore the doctor's orders to go to the hospital and return home to refer to a book written in the 70s?? They went home and, instead of professional medical help, tried cabbage and clay compressions.

Ok, let's play devil's advocate here. So you try this out first. It does not go well. The child is losing weight and getting worse. What do you do? You take them to the hospital!

What did Mr. and Mrs. Le Moaligou do? They continued on their own path and she died.

A baby died. A baby died because of stupidity and poor judgement.

Personally, I feel this is horrific. A child died who could have potentially been saved. Her parents were idiots, and not because of diet but because of lack of action.

Do I think they loved her?

I can't say that they didn't.  First, I doubt that cabbage and clay compressions are an easy thing to do on an 11 month old. That was obviously what they thought was best. While it's clear that they are about as sharp as a tea spoon, can we charge people for being stupid? I know an innocent child died but let's face it, it's not unheard of for a small child to die due to parental stupidity.

What gets me is the lack of community action. There is no way I'd get away with this in Rio. My child can't look sideways without someone criticizing me over how he may strain his neck. And while it was the parent's responsibility, we can see that the sane parent boat had sailed long ago. Why didn't the doctor follow up? He was the professional that knew what was going on, why didn't he check with the hospital to make sure they checked in? Why not give a little call to the house?

I think we are lacking a bit of personal care here. No, he is not to blame, the parents are. But they are dumb-asses and the baby died. A 2 minute phone call from a professional could have made a difference. Call protective services. Do something!

All that being said, I would hate to see this tragic event turn into an attack into breastfeeding and Vegans. The Mother didn't make sure she had the health to breastfeed for extended periods of time, but that does not mean it's the case for everyone. I dear you to attack a Fast Food Momma who is throwing a bottle at her child because breastfeeding gets in the way of her bucket of KFC. Go to my country, I'm sure you'll find plenty for your case study. Hell, some may even be related to me. You never know.

The thing is that we can not lose sight of what this is about.  It is not diet or lifestyle so much as extremism. These two were extreme. They did not want medical attention when they knew things were off. They did not want to take the means they needed to when their lifestyle was not the best option for their child. They were stubborn. They were wrong. And you know what their punishment was? They lost their baby.

The moral of this story: You may have your beliefs of what is best for your child, but if they are physically ill and/or unhealthy under them you have to get help! I know science and medicine have the "bad guy" label to a lot of people but we all seem to forget that people used to die. People used to die a lot during childbirth, from basic childhood illnesses, and from anything else. Hell, why do you think your Grandparents are afraid of a cold breeze?

There needs to be a happy medium between medicine and lack there of.

What do you guys think?

Breast milk Ice Cream hits stores

I think this just takes breastfeeding to an all new and unneeded level!  Breast milk ice cream?!  Well, it came out at the Covent Garden Store in London a bit ago. Apparently it's flavored with lemon zest and vanilla and is just the new Cat's Pajamas.

They found very good and healthy breast milk donors online. And that's great because we all know how strict quality control is when you find it online, especially with people.  Of course it's screened, pasteurized, and range free.

That is according to them. I really don't consider most people range free. We may have a long leash but we're pretty tied in anyhow. Not to mention the drugs, chemical exposure, and questionable food intake. I mean, let's be honest, I doubt any healthy, hippie woman is selling her extra breast milk to make rich people ice cream. Nope. It's the crazy lady with 25 kids and 23 different Daddies who's 6 yr old just gave up the boob and she needs beer money.

The hippie would probably be nice enough to find a donation program to give her extra milk to children who need it. You know, the thing people would ideally do with their extra breast milk.

I would almost be offended by this whole thing if I didn't find it so damn amusing.  I know breast milk is good for babies but I fail to see the need to cash crop that golden liquid.  It's like looking for another "other" white meat.  Apparently breast milk is going to be the new soy.

And how will they regulate? I guess they are pretty lucky that Jews will now consider all milk Kosher. At least that one is taken care of.

As for if I would try some, sure I'd take a taste. I wouldn't seek it out but if a friend bought some and asked me if I wanted a taste of her's, I'd go for it. I really see no issue in sharing her spoon if I'm already eating someone else's frozen milk.

How about you? Would you buy it? Try it? Do you dig it?

If you'd like to read more on it, check out this article from NPR: Breast Milk Ice Cream

* Thanks for the tip Sara!


** Photo courtesy of http://lezbfriendz.tumblr.com/post/2914150869/cant-go-wrong-with-ice-cream-and-boobs-edit

Twitter Changes People

I didn't get Twitter before.  Really, didn't get it.  And now I'm addicted. Amazing the how one itouch app can just change your life.

It's like a connection to the world, in 140 keystrokes.  It kind of turns me on. No nitty gritty. No idle chit chat.  Straight and to the point, even sometimes in a grammatically incorrect manner.  Nothing like a fragment to turn a girl on.

But it is changing me.  Twitter has awoken the Mother blogger in me and it's taking everything I have to fight it.  

I will not post on diaper rash. I will not do it!  I swear I have a life outside children...

Oh wait a minute...

Then again, being a Mother brought me to Rio de Janeiro in the first place.  I got knocked up with my husband's baby.  No, there was never any question.

Anyway, I didn't have health care and I couldn't afford the astronomical amount they wanted me to pay for care.  It was such a shame that I was married and American at the time because, if I wasn't, I would have gotten a pretty damn good discount. Those single, illegal Moms get all the breaks.

But I love that story because I get to say that I, an American, had to run across Brazilian borders to give birth to my child in a Brazilian Public Hospital. Hello coolness, I rock your 3rd world country, Public Hospital World!

And I get half my posts from experiences out and about with my boys.  If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have gotten completely harassed for my circumcision post.  Not to mention, my breastfeeding post.  People have a tendency of getting creeped out when childless people breastfeed other people's children.  Not that I know or anything.

So what to do with all this?  I'm thinking I need to find some more randoms to follow on Twitter. Something to break up the game, shake up my life, and fill my head with nonsense.  I could also watch Fox News for that, but this girl has standards.

Where does that get you, you ask?  Well, you just read a post about basically nothing on a blog that is supposed to be about an expat in Rio who is, in fact, in Maryland visiting family.  I'd have to say you got a whole lot of zilch.  But at least it was mildly entertaining.

Just a trip down Rachel's Ranting's Thought Process Lane.

So you tell me, what influences your blog?

Breastfeeding: A Difference in Culture

So Americans are boob people right? That's the theory anyway. Personally, I think they are Boob looking at people, not touch and interaction. It explains both the fascination with fake ones and their fear of breastfeeding. Cause let's be honest, they never feel real and what's the big deal with feeding a baby?

I really can't understand the last one. My boys were popped out in Brazil.  I wasn't even allowed to bring a pacie into the public hospital my oldest was born in, much less a bottle.  Actually, I had nurses in regularly harassing me to breastfeed him more. Let that milk come in!  And oh did it ever.

Then came life. I had to leave the hospital and continue on with my life, baby and breast included.  And you know what, that baby and breast came out wherever and whenever they needed to. Every member of our circle of friends, family, and any bystander nearby when I was on a walk got an eyeful of boobage.

And you know what, it was no big deal!  Because, here's the shocker, it's not a big deal.  I actually had a harder time with the amount of comfort Brazilians feel with breastfeeding as opposed to the other side. I had family coming up to look and love on the baby while on my breast.  Awkward but apparently only for me.

Once my second came, I was practically pornographic with my breastfeeding.  I guess I got a little too comfortable, as my husband actually asked me to be a little more modest.  Obviously that set me off on a hormonal rage that was totally irrational and made my brother-in-law practically vow to never procreate.  To say I feel strongly about breastfeeding is like saying I like to eat.

At the same time, to each their own. I feel that there is nothing worse than a miserable Mother breastfeeding.  Energy, spirit, pheromones, whatever you believe, it passes to the mini-me.  It is a personal choice... one that Americans do not appreciate.

That's what I don't get.  Why we have to see every woman's ass crack from 10 yrs old to 50 but can't see a top of a breast is beyond me. At least the breast is being used for feeding. Unless you are stuffing hot dogs in that crack, I really don't need to see it.

So what's the big deal?! Does this country really have nothing to bitch about that we can be offended by a Mother feeding their child? Do we really find it disgusting and inappropriate?  If that is the case, this economy really needs to drop. The comfort level needs to fall to a new low. If the US has reached a point where something so maternal and natural can be deemed NC-17,  it is LOST.

I dear you breastfeeding haters out there, eat your lunch with a sheet over your head. Hell, half of you eat like starving mammoths.  I'd love to send you to a special room to feed. Hell, if I have to cover up my hungry child, I don't want to see your ass inhaling a super-sized meal.  Consider this a compromise.

Oops, got a little feisty there.  Like I said, I feel passionately about breastfeeding. There is nothing better than milk, a little boob, and a snuggle.  All you men agree, don't lie!

In this way, I have yet another reason to stay an expat, besides the fact that we really don't have another option.  It is a universal fact that breastfeeding is the best choice and not the easiest, even in an accepting culture.  Every time a woman pulls out her boob, it's a little bit of a "thing" for her, no matter how comfortable she is.  I prefer to surround myself with people who understand that.

I will accept Brazilians telling me to put socks on my child in 90 degree weather, informing me that my child is too fat or skinny, and saying that they really should be walking instead of in a stroller (at 18 months in a big city).  And I am happy to have a Grandmother ask me, as with my second, why they are taking a bottle at 8 months instead of the breast.  You know why, because they actually care.

Wow, mind blowing caring about other people besides yourself.

Children are a compromise and there is no romancing that.  Your job as a parent is to try your best to do your best for them.  Your job as a society is to support that.  I think we Americans forget that sometimes.

As for my regular readers, if you are wondering about this twist to the normal rants, as if there is a normal, it's because of Twitter. I follow a lot of Mommy Twitter Tweeters.  You can find my page at @rachelsrantings.  

Adventure at the Brazilian Public Hospital continued...

I finally made it out of the OR and into the hallway.  Chillin' on my stretcher, I was waiting to finally hold my baby. Since I was still in the OR area, I was alone.  Students kept walking by on their way to the nursery.  I kept over hearing them say how they wanted to see the giant gringo baby.  My boy!

The nurse finally brought him out to me and put him on my breast. Easier said than done seeing that I was laying flat on my back. They wouldn't even let me have a pillow because of my C-section... and come to find out later, they were out of pillows.

I waited another 20 minutes but they weren't boring nor was I ever left alone.  Every 3 or so minutes someone passed by, stopped to see the baby, and then made it to second base.  All these helpful people stopped to coo over my little one (or giant as they saw it) and then "fix" his position on my breast. Everyone had a different opinion on positions and my breasts just weren't cooperating.

You've all seen breasts when a woman is lying down. They just want to flop to the side.  There's no way around it. Call it gravity or personal preference, they just like to lounge. 

Finally I was wheeled into the hallway and was prepared to be taken to my room. They took my boy out of my arms and then put him in between my legs. They put my feet next to each other, bent my knees a bit, and placed him in the small spot.  I really wanted to hold him but was told it was safer for him to be cradled in between my dead legs. Even safer just to have a third party hold him but, at this point, I was coming to understand that they didn't have all the personnel other hospitals have.

Mom met us on our way and I was placed in my bed. I was sharing a room with 4 other women and their babies.  While sharing a room with 4 other people sounds like hell at first, it really wasn't. Ok, it wasn't the easiest experience at times. One woman kept her cell on high and it rang at all hours.  One teenager (16) was having a hard time mastering breastfeeding and managing her baby. I felt for her.  So young!

This hospital does not allow bottles or formula. You are breastfeeding during your stay, like it or not.  They did, however, offer a lot of help in that area.  

The saddest moment sharing a room was when a woman was brought in late my second night.  They never brought in a baby.  All women share their space with their baby in this hospital.

The next morning she was taken for a check up and we found out the gossip. She had been pregnant with twins, almost full term, and lost them.  They don't have special rooms for that situation. She was forced to share a room with a bunch of new mothers and their babies. If that wasn't cruel enough, remember the woman from my first post about this experience?  The one who's boss punched my doctor? I said I didn't like her and you'd see why. Well, here's that moment.

We were all given little gift bags from a charity.  In the public hospital, most people are not as economically stable as others.  The bag had some diapers and clothes for the new babies. Well, the woman I didn't like yelled across the room to the woman who lost her babies. Keep in mind, the woman who lost her twins hadn't spoken since she was brought in.

Well, She yelled across the room to ask her if she could have her bag of stuff!  She then continued that maybe the 4 of us could split it among ourselves because she wasn't bringing a baby home!  I was horrified to say the least!  As was everyone else.  The woman who lost her twins rolled over towards the wall and stared to cry.  The other woman took that as a yes, walked across the room, and took her bag.  She started to try to divvy up the goods. No one took any nor said anything.  When she offered diapers to me my only reply was "don't you have any shame".

She took my answer as a no thank you and pocketed everything.