Twitter Changes People

I didn't get Twitter before.  Really, didn't get it.  And now I'm addicted. Amazing the how one itouch app can just change your life.

It's like a connection to the world, in 140 keystrokes.  It kind of turns me on. No nitty gritty. No idle chit chat.  Straight and to the point, even sometimes in a grammatically incorrect manner.  Nothing like a fragment to turn a girl on.

But it is changing me.  Twitter has awoken the Mother blogger in me and it's taking everything I have to fight it.  

I will not post on diaper rash. I will not do it!  I swear I have a life outside children...

Oh wait a minute...

Then again, being a Mother brought me to Rio de Janeiro in the first place.  I got knocked up with my husband's baby.  No, there was never any question.

Anyway, I didn't have health care and I couldn't afford the astronomical amount they wanted me to pay for care.  It was such a shame that I was married and American at the time because, if I wasn't, I would have gotten a pretty damn good discount. Those single, illegal Moms get all the breaks.

But I love that story because I get to say that I, an American, had to run across Brazilian borders to give birth to my child in a Brazilian Public Hospital. Hello coolness, I rock your 3rd world country, Public Hospital World!

And I get half my posts from experiences out and about with my boys.  If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have gotten completely harassed for my circumcision post.  Not to mention, my breastfeeding post.  People have a tendency of getting creeped out when childless people breastfeed other people's children.  Not that I know or anything.

So what to do with all this?  I'm thinking I need to find some more randoms to follow on Twitter. Something to break up the game, shake up my life, and fill my head with nonsense.  I could also watch Fox News for that, but this girl has standards.

Where does that get you, you ask?  Well, you just read a post about basically nothing on a blog that is supposed to be about an expat in Rio who is, in fact, in Maryland visiting family.  I'd have to say you got a whole lot of zilch.  But at least it was mildly entertaining.

Just a trip down Rachel's Ranting's Thought Process Lane.

So you tell me, what influences your blog?

Learned my lesson

I decided to write about the circumcision debacle that was/is our life.  Yes, my life is defined by my child's foreskin. Is that strange?

Anyway, I'm going to be hearing about it for the rest of my freaking life! Apparently the anti-circumcision groups are very Internet friendly, and good for you guys! Way to make things happen.

So what did I learn from this? 

For starters, people have very strong feelings about foreskin!  I mean, wow, you'd think our ozone layer was made out of the stuff or something. 

Secondly, mostly women and gay men are concerned.  So either I have mostly women or gay men readers (or commenters) or the men just don't give a damn.  I think it may be a combination of the two.  Now, speaking for straight men, because we straight women LOVE to do that, they don't care as long as the penis works. If there is pleasure, ejaculation, and something to put it in, life is good. I think I just discovered the solution to male depression!

Thirdly, I'm a bit wishy washy. Of course I am.  The people calling me ignorant bastard are very convincing. I see that and think, wow, I really want to agree with them.  

Honestly though, in between the defensive lines, they make some good points.  I can see and appreciate their line of thinking and their opinion...sometimes.  Did it change mine, not so much.  Sorry folks, that's way I roll. It's a bit hard to convince me to change my opinion but I'm happy to hear yours and accept it. Good for you!

Fourthly, don't post something polemic if you can't take the heat for the remaining life of your blog. I swear, this will be the post that I'll receive a random comment in 2012 after I published my book 'How to be Obnoxious and Still Make Friends'.

So I'm going to lay myself out on the table. I just don't care. There are very few things in life that I feel are worth fighting tooth and nail over.  We can agree to disagree.  If I want to cut my leg off and live my life as a pirate, no matter how ridiculously fabulous that would be, it's my choice.  Then again, I would really be typecast-ed once my film career started.

Anyway, I just had to put out a random and nonsensical post. I've been trying to write but my email box keeps getting these notices. I'm getting virtually penis-ed to death!  It's very hard to focus on another topic, especially since I'm the most argumentative 'we can agree to disagree' person in the whole world. I can't help it. I'm competitive by nature. 

And there you have it. I'm a contradiction in terms.  I'm totally perfect and imperfect at the same time.  But scratch the perfect because there really isn't any of that in me. I think that's part of my charm.  That and my delusion of grandeur. 

To circumcise or not to circumcise

Brazil is not as circumcise happy as the US of A.  They just don't feel the need to snip off that extra skin and I have yet to meet a Pediatric Urologist down here who is willing to do it to a newborn. They feel it's barbaric to strap a kid to a board and take a scalpel to an non-anesthetized kid's penis. 

When you put it that way, who wouldn't be against it!

But I am for circumcision. Call me old fashion, but I think it's cleaner. And as a Mom of boys, it's not as easy as it seems to get them to clean down there correctly.  Being a balanced person, I find the middle ground partial circumcision the most desirable.

So why write about it on my blog. Well, we've yet to circumcise our youngest as we are waiting until he's out of diapers.  It's easy to get infection when poop get smashed around an incision.  You asked, didn't you!   And for other medical reasons, it has been recommended he have one.

Well, those medical reasons bit me in the ass this morning when I went to change his diaper and found his penis swollen 3 times the normal size, and not in the good way!  Emergency room visit and bam, circumcision is needed as soon as the swelling and infection are under control. And NO, my kid is not dirty! They are Brazilian boys. They take like 2 to 3 baths a day for goodness sake!  And I do make sure those little hidden pieces are washed and clean thank you very much.

This situation only confirms two things for me, that circumcision is good and that the private Brazilian medical care is great!  I, yet again, had wonderful treatment at Copa D'Or in Copacabana. I spoke personally with my our pediatrician who also spoke with the Emergency room doctor. Our pediatrician will follow up with us tomorrow and we are being referred to a Ped Urologist asap.  I have to say Bradesco health insurance and their doctors ROCK!

And note to self, if you have a little boy and he's feverish and cranky, check the penis. I never thought of that. I looked at teeth, belly, throat, glands, toes, hair, and whatever else possible.  I never looked at the penis. Not until morning.  Oh the power of a penis.

I plead Vagina ignorance on that one.

* More available at : Copa D'or from the inside

** UPDATE** Emergency Circumcision was avoided and 5 months later, we have still yet to get the procedure done.  During the wait our son's pocket of smegma under his foreskin has grown to a point that you can see it very clearly from a distance. This makes the area a great place to grow bacteria.  As for poo poo-ers who want to automatically talk smack and compare me to a penis executioner, all extremists are bad. Just because everyone in the country where you are at gets an automatic circumcision doesn't mean that's how it rolls in other parts of the world. And just because too many people do it and it's rare to actually need one, doesn't mean it's impossible... not at all.  So instead of just being a pile of soapbox throwers, understand where this Mom is coming from. Heaven forbid I try to joke around about a penis and make light of a tough situation.