Nail Polish on Boys: Acceptable?

I painted my 2 year old son's nails pink. Fingers and toes baby. The little man saw Mommy decorating her fingers in the bright color and wanted it for himself. What two year old doesn't like bright colors painted somewhere on their body? 

Of course I am living in a machismo country, and an especially machismo city. You don't paint boys' finger nails. You don't give your boys baby dolls. And you definitely clarify that pink is a girls' color... if you are not me. 

And while I was prepared for some comments, I didn't realize that EVERYONE in this city would notice his tiny nails. 

On our way home from the park, three street girls of about 12 years old stopped me to ask if I had anything I could give them. Since we had walked I really didn't and I told them sorry. We all chatted for a minute about how it is getting cold, I made a mental note to bring out a blanket to give the next time, and we went to enter our building. That's when I heard the:

"Tia?" It means Aunt and is a common way kids refer to unknown women here for some reason. 

I turned to listen and all the girls were giggling. The oldest asked "Did YOU paint his nails pink?!" I said yes I did and the Menace, hearing the conversation, turned to proudly show them his nails. "But he's a boy!" 

Apparently the machismo societal standards are enforced even by those that very society rejects. Go figure. 

Would you paint your toddler's son's nails if he asked?

Machismo at it's Best

Brazilian men are known to be a bit masculine when it comes to some things. Today I was shown proof from my very own window.

I heard yelling out on the street and being the nosy girl I am, I decided to check it out.  I was not alone because the chaos had caught the attention of quite a few people.

There they were, a cab driver and a bus driver, screaming at each other. No, not from their vehicles. We are in Brazil!  They had stopped their bus and cab in the middle of the street and were having a little chat. The bus driver was reserved enough to stay in his bus while the cab driver preferred to dance around like a drunk and angry monkey.

From what I could tell, the bus driver had done something to piss the cab driver off.  Personally, I would have just let the bus go because 1. it's bigger than the cab and 2. bus drivers in Rio de Janeiro are bad asses! Driving the way they do in a city like this, and seeing what they see, puts them up there in the don't piss off category.  But that's just me.

They fought in a cycle. The cab driver would go to the front of the bus, scream, and then creep in close to the door and say something really nasty. It must of been bad because I had never heard those phrases before and they made the bus driver dive over the turn rail each and every time.

Thankfully for the cab driver, a nice middle aged lady took it upon herself to stand in front of the door and calm the bus driver down. The bus driver would hear reason and go back to his seat. Then the cycle would start again with the dancing in front of the bus.

Finally the police arrived.  The men were separated and the bus was sent on it's way, I'm guessing to the relief of the passengers. Of course the cab driver took that as an opportunity to call the man a pussy as he drove away.

And the Super Masculine Man award goes to the bus driver for stopping once again, blocking all three lanes of traffic, and trying to get off to kick some ass. Oh, he didn't care that the police were there.  Sadly for my blog, the police got him back on the bus, held the cab driver behind, and then sent him away after a safe distance had been established.

Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son

 

Living in a machismo country, sometimes you just need to make fun of it. Check out:

 If you aren't already a fan, check out The Onion!

Boys who play with Dolls

I was cruising the park scene this afternoon when I was approached by 3 college students with a video camera.  Their target was found and they approached. 

They asked if they could ask me a question. Sure, why not.  Then they qualified and asked if they could ask me a question and then film my response. Ok.  They turned on the camera first and got ready to ask.  For one second, I thought they were going to ask me something dirty or do something just to shock me on camera.  Then I remembered, it's me.  It'd have to be pretty damn good to get a reaction. 

"Can boys play with dolls?"  That was it?!  Of course they can!  I told them my son even has a princess castle set.  Oh yes, Little People pink princess castle courtesy of his Nana Kay. 

They were very pleased with my response. 

I don't get the big deal. I don't see a problem with my son playing with dolls. I see no big deal in Shiloh Jolie Pitt dressing like a boy.  I don't see the an issue in children playing with everything, including gender identity. It's not just normal, it's healthy. 

My son wants to be either a robot or Spiderman. He thinks his bruises from playing on the playground are the beginning of his Spiderman transformation.   If enjoying toys labeled for the other sex is questionable, then thinking you are slowly changing into a make believe superhero is crazy. Oh wait, it's not because Superheros are a boy thing.  Duh.

It's a load of crap and, of course, you get even more of it in Brazil.  My son also used to like to have his toe nails painted.  Of course blue or red, something related to Spiderman. Aren't we all surprised.  I saw no problem with it and ignored my husband's protests until we had a little incident at the park. Thankfully Luka was too little to get it but a group of older boys, around 4 yrs old and he was 2 1/2, were following him around pointing and laughing. He didn't get it. I told him they thought he was funny and I stopped painting his toes. 

The next time he asked, I had to explain that certain things are for girls and certain things are for boys. It was a conversation that made me kind of sad.  I felt like I was telling him, here's your box and you have to live in it. Enjoy!  But I feel that it was the lesser of two evils.  Kids are mean.  In his class, him playing house with his friends is ok but a boy with painted nails is not.

But part of me wonders, where's this coming from. My kid had no idea about societal standards of his masculinity at 3 years old. Wonder how it came about in the other kids...

And the machismo machine lives on. 

Thoughts? Do you steer your kid towards gender specific toys or let them choose for themselves? Would you be ok if your son wanted pink shoes or your daughter wanted to cut all her hair off?