Friday, December 9, 2011

Brazil: Sir Mix A Lot's Lost Home: Rio de Janeiro

Today's Brazilian Hotties for your Friday got me thinking about Brazil and asses. In this country there is a true appreciation for those rear cushions, and is a source of pride among the owners of them.

It isn't just genes people, although the full ass really is. Seriously, big asses are as common in Brazil as silicone in LA only they aren't always purchased. Hell, even the mannequin at a lot of stores have an ass that would rival Coco's!

The thing is, Brazilians like a little meat. Sure they'll take a skinny girl in during a storm, but they search out a birthing woman to run the home. I'm not really sure if that is because of the beef or because of the sass that seemingly comes with these Brazilian women. Don't get me wrong, Brazilian men need a certain amount of Sass to keep them in their place, or at least remind them where it is when they get lost.

All and all it comes down to the concept of beauty. From my first day here I respected the fact that Brazilian men would hump the leg of all kinds. In all blunt honesty though, I got hit on a lot in the states and not very much in Brazil. Too skinny, too tall, and too lean. Hey, thank goodness I wasn't living here during that awkward age of 13. I looked like a personified Daddy Long Leg. I soooo wouldn't have ever been asked out. Oh wait I wasn't at home either...

Anyway, before you go and talk shit about the muscular asses here and say that they are all surgery, I am here to tell you they aren't. Well, at least not all of them. If you have ever frequented a gym in Rio de Janeiro, you'll have seen that the woman here work out more than the Navy Seals.

Honestly, I see women busting out ridiculously hardcore aerobics with 20 kilo (40lb) weights strapped on to each one of their ankles. There I am crying next to them with nothing on mine and they basically have the equivalent of a preschooler holding on to dear life on each one of there's. These hard asses are not something that happens naturally. The women here work for them.

Of course this may just be in Rio de Janeiro. Regardless, I used to consider myself a woman who knew her way around a weight room. In comparison to most American women, I still do. Next to one of these Assazonian ladies, I am nothing! They work out muscles in the ass and legs that I didn't even know exist! Hell, I doubt I've ever even felt them working.

So when you see a picture of an asstastic Brazilian woman, don't get all full of hate. They work hard for that ass. They spend more time in the gym than we do doing anything else. Respect it as one of the wonders of the world. Brazil has won the ass, as if it was ever a competition. 


  1. "Today's Brazilian Hotties for your Friday got me thinking about Brazil and asses."
    I like the way you think. That is all.

  2. hahaha this one was so good, especially the comment about the preschoolers on the women's ankles. It's so true about the women at the gym! They're intense! I'm too embarrassed to do those exercises in public. The most I'll do is this one where I stand on a workout bench and hold onto a bar on the wall in front of me, then lift my legs up and down while standing. None of that lie-on-all-fours-and-lift-my-legs-up-and-show-everyone-my-ass nonsense. The trainer insists it's no big deal but I just can't.

    But good for them, I suppose!

  3. Oh oh, so yes, most of the women are doing things the natural way, but we forgot to mention the trend of women getting lipo and moving the fat from their stomachs to their butts!! It happens!

  4. I knew it Danielle! Now where do I sign up!?? I have PLENTY to move! LOL

  5. I wonder if it's possible to remove fat from a person to then have it stored so it can later be sold. Kind of like a lard market.
    I imagine the lard would have to be compatible with the lard recepient though, which would explain why these transactions don't take place, yet.

  6. So true. Too many times I've rotated onto a machine at the gym, behind a woman 20 years older than me...and she's working out on 20-30+ kilos harder than I can. I think it's something many of years of working out can afford you. And bravo, hope I can keep up with this pace, or at least even catch up with it.

  7. Rio isn't a fair representation of the whole country. Spend some time in São Paulo and you'll see much more clothing and much less gym-culture.