I felt that way this weekend but not because of my kids. It was all circumstantial. Things just went downhill from the cancellation of my kids going to my in-laws (random decision by Mr. Rant and I) to my husband getting stuck in São Paulo and me having to take the kids to the blogger meet up.
Funny enough, none of that was a big deal. The deal was that I was feeling my role a little too much. The thing about being a Stay at Home Mom and wife is that your needs (the fun frivolous ones) get pushed to the bottom. Your daily job is take care of the needs of others, frivolous or not. It's a hard role not to get sucked into.
I am lucky that I get to stay at home with my kids. I love being the one taking care of them. I also love being able to take care of Mr. Rant after a long day at work. I think it makes a huge difference to have someone home full time.
I have moment though with the whole Mother identity. I have my days that I just want to be Rachel, not the go to guy of the house.
Sometimes Just Rachel would be pretty damn nice.
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Nothing needs to be said other than.....YES.THIS.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know we're not alone in that feeling of role overload.
never just Rachel...mommy, wife, cook, nurse, maid, secretary, organizer, disciplinarian, ear, comforter, confidant, friend, daughter, sister...the package of Rachel...and it will be added to...drivers ed instructor, coach, cheerleader, autocrat who won't let them stay out past 12....
ReplyDeleteI totally get that! Sometimes I wish I could just be Stephanie and not worry about making dinner, doing laundry etc! Yes it would be nice! But I do have a great husband that takes on the daddy role very well. So when I need that time, he jumps right in! I am so happy for that!
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling like that when Mini-Me was young. Then, as she got older and started dating and hanging out with friends, I felt like a loose end. I didn't know how to handle NOT being the center of her existance. When she moved out, I was even harder, which is why I started blogging. It's helping me reclaim "Crystal" and step out of the Mommy role a little.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I am mother, father, friend, fun person disciplinarian and whatever needs to be done around here. Not to mention the bread winner.
ReplyDeleteI'll be happy when I get to just be Leah again.
Mr. Rant is a great help too and I'm lucky for that. He just took the kids out in the morning with his Dad so I could rest. Now he's sending me off to the beach and taking the boys off again. I guess he needs me to have some Rachel time too ;)
ReplyDeleteRemember when I was debating getting pregnant? Ricardo actually has really been pushing me about having a baby. But after some thinking, I decided that I am really lucky to just be me and just have us as a family right now. I want to take a little me time for myself and enjoy it. Now that I am not taking it for granted. I know that it will be a long time before I would be able to have this back and really there is no going back. Things change forever after a baby.
ReplyDeleteBut I know things are hard right now. But I think it goes in cycles, both good and bad times. We never get just all good or just all bad. Soon your kids will be older and some thing will get easier. Like, taking them places, they will be more independent and you won't have to hall around so much stuff. hang in there. Being mom is never easy.
I can so relate! It's tough being everything in addition to Jessica, but I enjoy (mostly) at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI miss being just melisa so much sometimes...motherhood can be overwhelming because it's 24 hours a day. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI am feeling you!! I know how this is... all the Mommy-baby love and yet... we need... to be us, too. Just Julie. Just Rachel. Just woman, hear me be.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful I found you via SOC Sunday today!
I always follow your blog but never comment, I'm also an expat in Rio, without the company and help of friends or family plus a 6 month old, it can get really lonely and overwhelming sometimes, which makes me feel so guilty!!! Great post.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty! We all feel that way sometimes!
ReplyDeleteIt's an awful reality, but the truth is as a SAHM I feel fed up/exasperated a minimum of once per day. Minimum. It's just the way it goes when your life is dictated by the needs/wants/whims of an "irrational dictator" (as my friend likes to call little ones). When was the last time anyone "enjoyed" being at the beck and call of tiny (but yes, adorable and precious) little dictators? ;-)
ReplyDelete--Jean
Amen to that! Just this weekend, the Hubs got a new video game and 2 new speakers. My mom blessed us with a $20 used upright deep freeze that I have been dreaming of for years. The hubs got a bit upset fearing it wouldn't fit and that he wouldn't get the fridge we had decided to compromise on so he can brew lagers. It was just another reminder of how as a mom I am always putting others needs and wants before my own. I'd like to be selfish for once!
ReplyDeleteYou noticed the name of my blog, right? ALL THINGS FADRA. It's all about me. Well, not about me but about everything *I* want to talk about even if it's not related to being a mom. I totally get this.
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