Monday, October 17, 2011

Top 10 Things Husbands and Wives Want has a list of the Top 10 things Men want from their wives and vice versa. I thought that it would be fun to compare this list.

1. Believe in his capabilities
2. Understanding
3. Affirmation of his Accomplishments
4. Acceptance
5. Less Chatter
6. Affection
7. Respect
8. Free Time
9. Trust
10. To be a Companion

I'm sorry but I looked at this list and wavered between preschooler and dog. If I had to convert all 10 items into two sentences and one word it would be: "Yes, it was a very good presentation but the game just started. Can I have a kiss and we will talk about this later? Thanks."

Of course the women's list isn't much better:

1. Telling her daily that she is Loved
2. Understanding and Forgiveness
3. Conversation
4. Willingness to make time for her and your children
5. Saying 'yes' more than saying 'no'
6. Listening well
7. Affection and Kindness
8. Sharing Household and Child Rearing Responsibilites
9. A Day Off Now and Then
10. Commitement to Take Care of Yourself Both Physically and Emotionally

First of all, reading this kind of makes me feel like my husband's bitch. Say yes more than no? Why does he get the deciding word? And forgiveness for what? explained #2 like this:

There will be days when your wife will make mistakes or when she will be difficult to be around. No one is perfect. She both wants and deserves your willingness to understand and forgive her. Remember that no relationship can be sustained without forgiveness.

What? I'm sorry but we're counting mistakes now? Oh shoot, the dishes have spots. Mommy has to go sit in time out. Daddy won't you please forgive her. Yeah, I don't think so. I'll take the understanding part but not forgiveness because if I am being difficult to be around something tells me that you may have a part in that (minus give or take 6 days out of the month or when I'm on the pill.)

Here is my list for Mr. Rant:

1. For you to go back in time and remember your "moves" and use them on me again. I obviously thought they were hot. Of course you still are hot but didn't you do things that made me turn on in a second or was I just easy? On second thought don't answer that.
2. To come home early and declare that you are making us dinner. FYI, it needs to be something both the kids and I will eat and that does not require a trip to the store.
3. For him to chat with me in bed before we go to sleep. I heart pillow talk. It is a Mr. Rant pet peeve as it is time to sleep and if we were going to talk it should have been before we went to bed. Things pop into my head when I lay down and I like to chat about them. See the issue.
4. To be told I'm gorgeous, sexy, and awesome. Ok, he told me I was gorgeous the other day, kind of as a joke, but it totally still counted.  Hey Mr. Rant, would love it if you did it again!
5. For him to bring up a cute, funny, or random memory from our past. It's cool to hear our history from your point of view.

Ok, I can only come up with 5. I have it pretty damn good. But if I had to make up 5 for Mr. Rant they would be:

1. To Insist on Sex Constantly. For some reason after a long stretch of marriage men get a bit lazy to put on the real moves. I'm sure that he would be stoked if I just stripped down and asked "would you please take me?"
2. Took Up Cooking as a Hobby: Mr. Rant likes to eat and although I am doing pretty damn well in the cooking department I still can't even hold up a burnt piece of newspaper up to his mother, much less a candle.
3. Anal-retentive Cleanliness: Mr. Rant is so very Carioca in that nothing from outside should ever enter inside. In his ideal world we would change out of "street clothes" before even sitting on the couch. I like to run around Rio de Janeiro in flip flops and thus am constantly filing my feet to get the soot off. I drive him insane this way.
4. Be into Botafogo: Mr. Rant is mellow in that he wouldn't demand that I watch all soccer games with him but I know that he would love me to sit and watch Botafogo games. I used to watch in that early part of our relationship. Of course I used to just nap on his chest...
5. Take on more of the Bureaucratic responsibilitiess of the household. I like to blame being a foreigner and not speaking perfect Portuguese but we both know it's pure laziness. Dude, it's just a bitch to fumble your way through that muck of government. He knows his way through. It's so much easier for him. Of course that whole having a full-time job thing sometimes makes it difficult to wait an hour for a piece of paperwork. We all have our crosses to bear.

What do you want from your partner? Do you agree with the lists?


  1. They lost me at "less chatter." What?! Chatter! Excuse me...

  2. I wish his work area was more organized and he didn't accumulate so much shit! We have a suit case (a big one!) full of wires, computer parts all over the guest room/office and flyers from parties and expositions that happened 10 to 15 years ago.... Some of them are pretty cool I must say, but he should look through them and make a selection!!

  3. Have you started reading the feminism book yet?!!??!

  4. oh... not mention the tool box, snow board and empty boxes left over from the move (which happened 6 month ago) by the entrance door of the house. Other than that he is a special kind of man, really is, he litens, he says he loves me constantly, he has a protective personality that is adorable and reassuring but it can borderline with annoying if he gets too carried away.... The thing is we've been together for almost 2 years, only, and we have no kids. Ask again in a couple of year ;)

  5. nice blog.. sorry
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  6. I totally do the foot-filing thing too! What I don't understand is that my husband also runs around Salvador in havaianas, and his feet DON'T get grimy. What gives??

  7. My husband totally has the suitcase full of wires! Drives me nuts.

    My husband's feet stay clean too but only because he hardly ever goes out in flip flops!

    Danielle, I can't find my kindle :( Today I will make it my mission!

  8. I'm a men and I just want that my days have 35 hours... is the only thing i wish right now, I'm not planning about get married or have children, i just want more time...