Tuesday, January 3, 2012

How We Know You Are A Tourist


1. You wear socks with sandals. Seriously, that is just wrong. You wouldn't do it at home, why do it when you are representing your country abroad? Shame on you.

2. Swimsuits should hug the bottom, not tent it. Your ass isn't getting fumigated, you are going swimming. Get something that cups your butt like it should.

3. You walk to a restaurant at 8pm with a can of beer you brought from somewhere else, and it is not Carnaval.

4. You travel in herds. It's like going on safari but the other way around.

5. You are tan when we are white or are white when we are tan. Think, for example, Norwegian in Brazil or vice versa.

6. You pull cash out in public and count it or carry everything in a wallet taped to your chest. This shows either an ignorant level of confidence or an extreme level of paranoia common to 1st world country dwellers.

7. You walk around with a bottle of water. Not only do you have that but you also have a freaking carrier.

8. Gear. You have a hat, sunscreen, glasses, camera, and a backpack full of other potentially useful gear. I'm walking to the store and you are out for survival. If that isn't an obvious difference, I don't know what is.

9. You are reading a book that talks about my city in a foreign language. Enough said.

10. You watch us like we are a live National Geographic Documentary. Foreigners always have a strange twinkle in their eyes as they view a new way of life. I like it. It almost gives me a Peter Pan like buzz. 

23 comments:

  1. Sooooo true! LOL @ the "gear." I love it when I'm walking to the market with nothing but keys in my hand and R$50 tucked into my bra, and I pass backpackers who look like they've just hiked in from Peru. (Then again, maybe they have).

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  2. Yep, all true...and it happens in every major city in the world. Our philosophy now is "thank you for supporting our local economy with your disposable income. Would you like to buy a map?"

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  3. Doesn't everyone watch you like you are in a National Geographic documentary? I mean even when you are back in the US? ;)

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  4. Regarding numero nine aren't we all reading a blog which focuses to a certain extent on Rio, and isn't it written in a language foreign to said city?

    On a different note: does anyone else think Tinker Bell (Sininho) is annoying?

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  5. Bringing a towel to the beach = gringo.

    Reading a book = gringo (Cariocas can read - they just never do).

    Sportin' hi-end Nikes and bling bling while walking in Copa = mega gringo/target.

    Money belt = gringo.

    Sandals and socks...so wrong...can't stop laughing.....

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  6. So true. According to my husband, wearing flip flops/chinelos in inappropriate places (with "inappropriate" being defined as anywhere but your house) = foreigner. Maybe not so much in Rio, but in São Paulo, that's a huge giveaway.

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  7. @Elis - another reason I'm glad I live in Rio/Niterói ... I wear my Havaianas EVERYWHERE! I just bought a new pair of sneakers. It was weird to find myself tying laces in the store. LOL! I still have not worn them out and about.

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  8. I almost wrote about super nice expensive shoes but I decided against it for some reason. But it is so true. I saw a guy at the New Years party we were at and immediately knew he was a foreigner because of his trendy super cool sneakers.

    As for flip flops, we have a greater flexibility in Rio de Janeiro. That being said, true Zona Sul peeps usually prefer to only use flip flops when going to the beach, returning from the beach, getting a pedi, and or going to the pool.

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  9. I think brazilians are the ones wearing expensive sneakers! Thats how I spot them overseas!

    Going to the beach in rio is a social thing. It doesnt make sense to bring a book if your goal is talking to your friends or meeting new people

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  10. People in Spain always made fun of "guiris" (white foreigners) for wearing socks with sandals, but I never (I repeat! never!) saw it.

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  11. Ha ha! My wife asked me about the water thing when I first got to Rio - "Why do you gringos all carry water around with you everywhere you go?". She was genuinely puzzled. I thought back to my travelling days and remembered my first very long, very thirsty bus journey without water. After that I always made sure I had a bottle with me (I don't do it anymore!).

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  12. I'd change this title to "tourist" instead of foreigner. You can be a foreigner and live in Brazil (most of us here).

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  13. Also, sandals designed like you could run a marathon in them- stop wearing those to Rio people! They are awful!

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  14. I disagree with Anom above me: it makes sense to wear high performance, elevated sandals (without socks for heaven's sake) since you can use them on numerous occasions without it being awkward.
    The real problem, which people don't want to acknowledge, is AHAS: Acute Havianas Abuse Syndrome. C'mon, if you are a tourist this is actually forgivable (specially twenty something Scandanavian females -call me-) but if you live here it is about time to start matching those flip flops to their proper settings. As a public service I will point them out below

    -Use flip flops when going to the beach and only extend use to situations where praticality calls: getting a pedi, washing your car in the backyard, trying to pick up European chicks concerned with social disparities, etc.

    - Don't use flip flops when: going to the bank: entering a restaurant, or strolling about town. This rule is even more important when it rains since drainage is usually terrible. In other words that rainwater will lift and collects all the filth it encounters -like rat urine- and, in gentle Bossa Nova fashion, shower your feet with all these goodies ( bet you feel like a Havaiana hipster now).

    Be safe out there.

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  15. I am the original Havaiana hipster! Every color and design baby

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  16. I need to buy more Havaianas. I remember when they were less than R$10 for the "fancy" pairs. In Brasilia even the basic pair is over R$20. Is that how it is in Rio? If not then I'll buy a few next week.

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  17. I see Rachel and I are foot attire foes.
    Once I rise to power Sharia Foot Law will be established throughout the land. Infidels will not be shot, yet will be forced to live in Argentina. Due to my infinite kindness those who prefer an execution will be granted one.

    Cover up people, or else...

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  18. They are getting expensive here too. I have a place in Copacabana that is a good price and has a great selection. Of course they are opening more and more official Havaiana stores and those are about R$4 more than anywhere else, at least. Sucks. Now that they are in fashion we have to pay more. I think they should stay fairly inexpensive in Rio per principal.

    Gritty- I dare you to execute me. You will fall victim to my charm and tanned toes.

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  19. I must confess I bought a pair of Havaianas for Luiz for Xmas and they were R$49! But they did come with a cute, tiny, matching key chain...

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  20. LOL Jim. I'll look for some next week.

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  21. I bought a pair for my Mom with a little metal dragonfly on the toe (adorable!) for R$27. Not too bad.

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  22. @Jim, clearly I should escape São Paulo and live by the beach! I wear flip flops everywhere, too, despite the social norms. Just chalk it up to not being Brazilian, and you can get away with anything ;)

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