I'm Not Middle Class

After reflecting on comments from my last post, I have to say that I was wrong. I am not middle class in Brazil.

It's a strange phenomenon being an American in Brazil. While I do not have near the money of those I consider truly upper class, I have far more than the majority.

It's hard to imagine that there is still this much struggling to make ends meet in upper class.

That last statement was bait. I have honestly thought it but reason is a bitch. Struggling is relative and the fact is I am not really struggling. I suppose that this is a highly common and negative aspect to the American line of thinking. I feel entitled to certain comforts in life that are not at all essential. I am accustomed to a certain level of things and ease in buying them.

Brazil is different. Items that Americans would consider a household staple are usually expensive. The truth in that is that they are not actually staples but luxuries.  While I spent years wishing I had a dryer, I actually survived just fine without one. Hell, my clothes are far better off!

Of course things are changing down here and it is much easier to purchase big ticket items. I just got my first washer/dryer combo, as you all know. Of course I will be paying for it over a period of months. Think of it as layaway but you get immediate custody.

And that is where I feel less than upper class.  I don't have the cash flow to pay for things a vista (all at once). All our big ticket items are paid over 6 to 10 months, including our trip to the US every two years.

Again though, I get to fly home every two years. I consider a trip for a family of 4 a big ticket item. That is a bit of a understatement as it is ridiculously expensive but you get my point. I'm not separating the cost of a toaster over 2 or 3 times, I'm breaking up something quite expensive.

So I was wrong. I am not the 99% in this country nor am I the 1%. It really doesn't matter the percentage I am in or if I am upper or middle class. The truth of the matter is that living in Brazil has taught me to appreciate things more.  It is as Jim says, Qualidade da Vida. 

I get that the amount of labor put into supporting my family and the quality of life I have is something I  should be thankful for. If I have ever implied otherwise I am sorry. But I have to say that this is something I may not have learned if I had stayed in my country. While I would have always been "thankful," it would have been expected. Mr. Rant and I are college graduates with work experience, why wouldn't we have a decent life. Brazil taught me that things are not so black and white. Even if they are, thank whomever you give credit to for life that yours is one where have time to sit and surf the web instead of otherwise.

On a side note, I still think the "expanding" middle class thing down here is bullshit. Just because some people are actually afford to buy things doesn't mean the work here is done. There needs to be better public education, smaller classroom sizes, and easier access to it.

Thoughts?

Secret to Marriage: Outsourcing

The New York Times just busted out another classic article. It's all about "equally shared parenting." When you think it's impossible to over-think children and families, someone offers another view.

So the deal there is that each parent is equally involved in everything. They have equal work hours, equal quality time with kids, equal responsibility of the home, and equal 15 minutes bouts of boring sex.

Obviously I read this and felt the need to put a Brazilian spin on it. I'm getting quite predictable on this blog, or as I like to call it "equally shared topic use."

Anyway, Brazilians have an easy answer to the equality at home issue, they outsource. Hell, I think most marriages here come with a full-time maid to clean and cook. Depending on the financial situation of the parents, come little Jr. there could be the addition of a nanny, the expansion of the job description of the maid, or the abuse of extended family members.

Yes, the family helps. You have the Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Siblings, and goodness knows however many cousins the parents feel comfortable having help. The Brazilians have the tribe style of raising kids down.

So in the middle class two working parent situation, Brazilians have that stuff down. Not only do neither of them actually have to do housework, sometimes they hardly need to raise their children unless they really want to. I think that explains why I'm the Mom getting annoyed with my kid's tantrum and the Brazilian parent is calmly lecturing them on how it makes Mommy feel... all while the kid is screaming.

In the past I have always accounted the parents I encounter's patience with just being more patient. I would swear to myself that my pregnant Mother really should have gotten her butt on a plane and birthed me in a more acceptable country. Turns out, upon reflection, that maybe this patience comes from having help. They are not burnt out by their kids or household duties. They do not have to argue with their spouse over who never does the dishes because Valeria or Lillian is coming in to handle them in the morning.

In all seriousness though, they need the help! If you have two working parents with semi-decent careers the hours are a bitch! Mr. Rant can go from getting home at 630pm one week to 830pm the next. It doesn't matter how early he starts his day. It's that damn 6pm meeting that every Brazilian seems to love to schedule that only actually starts at 630 or 7pm. That meeting will bite you in the ass weekly!

So I guess when you are in Brazil you do what the Brazilians do, unless you are me that is. I'm a glutton for punishment and can't manage a maid more than twice a week. Call me crazy but sharing my box of an apartment with another woman, who talks more than me by the way, is enough to send me to the Brazilian crazy house. Trust me, not the crazy house you want to end up in!

How do you or will you handle your household?