Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's day or Grandmother's day or Great-Grandmother's day... who will win?

I had a very interesting day today.  For starters, I woke up thinking that I was actually queen of the world and not just someones wife and mother.  My poor husband and kids. It was all peaches and roses the first couple hours and then I threw my first fit.

The house was trashed. TRASHED. It looked like I had moved out and 3 men lived in it.  3 grown drunk men who like playing with toys and wore really small underwear. 

It pissed me off.  Should it have? Not really. Does it matter so much?  Not so much. Did it matter to me? Hell to the yeah it did.  It bothered me, big time.  I felt that my husband should have been on it knowing that it would bother me and it was my day.

So here's a side story. I'm married to a seriously amazing man.  He may not notice much when he's home, like a super large pile of dishes or a bunch of his socks or underwear on the floor, but he's a good man. Hell, he's in making a canoe for my oldest's class.  Long story short, we have parental homework sometimes.  Good school though so I'll let that slide.

So I throw my fit, we all calmed down, and we all cleaned up.  Next we had to go to my husband's Grandma's house for lunch. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to have to share my day. We all already know I was being a ginormous baby today and I didn't want to share.  We go.

Disaster. My youngest wouldn't nap. If he doesn't nap he doesn't sleep at night. I need him to sleep at night!  Everyone is yelling and talking super loud. The apartment is 2 feet by 2 feet for heaven's sake. We can hear the Grandma fart in the kitchen. There is no need to yell. But there is yelling because everyone is Brazilian and they can't, by genetic makeup, speak softly.

I give up on the nap and try to eat lunch. The kids were being impossible. Everyone was annoying me (remember, big baby syndrome) and fit two was had. 

In my defense, it was during my 2nd nap attempt and my husband and mother-in-law let my 3 yr old in to lay down.  It seems that I'm the only one who knows my 3 yr old.  He always does this.  He comes it to check it out, gets over it, and loudly states that he wants to leave. Wants to leave! WANTS TO LEAVE!

So I pulled my husband into the room, told him I was done and that we were leaving!  He is such a trooper and said ok.  You must know that this is very faux pas here in Brazil. You don't leave before the coffee. And once you say you are going to leave you actually stay another 40 minutes chatting.

We didn't.  Needless to say, not the favorite of the family right now.  This is what makes me miss my family in the US of A.  I could just say, look I'm a cranky sack today. My kids are being difficult. We're just ready to go.  And it wouldn't be a big deal.

Oh well.  Can't win them all. My littlest napped and was good and happy for round two at the other Grandma's house. We ate waffles.  Fun was had by all.  I don't think I'm going to win daughter-in-law of the year from my mother-in-law.  Then again, I could poop gold and I still wouldn't. Even if I shared.


  1. i got to make a boot and a Little Red Riding Hood cape when I was there... Happy Mothers Day... remember Dorothy didn't call me by my name until we had been married 31 years. You are way ahead of that you cranky sack....

  2. I get into a funk during holidays here. I not only miss my family but I miss my culture. Weird but true. I miss the traditions. I get upset that my kids have no idea how we celebrate things. So I get into a funk, especially around a big group. I feel pushed away from what I want to hang on to. It's the last thing I need to let go of...

  3. I see this more as your family vs. his family than a cultural issue. I know that if I'm a cranky sack one day I can just tell my mom, or my grandma, that I'm not going, or I'm leaving, bc I'm not having a good day and they'd kiss me and say go home and get better. But if it's my husband's family it all becomes a storm. Just bc we, the women, are always the ones with the unstable moods, we are the ones who took their precious sons from them, and obviously we're only doing that bc we hate them and we simply want to annoy, if it was with our families, we would be the last to leave. It feels like we and our husband families are doomed to live in constant pickering. And when we have kids it gets worse, bc we're the bitch who takes away their precious grandchildren from their company. Sometimes I clearly sense that my mother-in-law would simply regurgitate with joy if I left and she could enjoy my daughter and my husband without having to put up with my unpleasant presence. Oh well, none of us would win that trophy, you're not alone. And if u ask me, mine wouldn't get the best mother-in-law award either, not even if she pooped diamonds, just bc even if she was a perfect sweetheart I would have to live with her poor raising skills in my daily life with my husband.

  4. I think there is always and underlying family vs family thing, even if very small. I also stand by culture. It culture in that Brazilian family remind me of those old Italian Mafia movies. There is a woman head of the family. Doesn't matter if you are the wife, you are not the mother. The Dona of the family. On the hand, we do all get our turns eventually... you just have to have a boy ;)