Saturday, July 10, 2010

Friend Envy

Do you ever suffer from friend envy? I was reading a fellow blogger's post on it the other day and it got me thinking.

There are tough moments in my day when I imagine how it is to be someone else. Those special moments when you are looking at your account balance or both your kids are throwing fits at the same time.  Those special moments make me think of certain friends.

One friend in particular lives her life in a 5 star hotel. She travels the world, eats amazing cuisine, and drinks the finest wines. She has a view of the beach and a tv room. Oh the glory!  She never has to be pee-ed on or pooped on. She has never been woken 300 times in a night.  She doesn't have to schedule her day around naps, schools, or bedtimes.  She has total freedom.

On the other hand, she has never felt the feeling of absolute comfort a child gets when their Mommy walks into a room. She's never been the only thing that makes a little one feel better when they are sick, or the one they want to show their newest drawing to.  She doesn't get to take or demand snuggles.  She can't refer to them as mine.  And she has total freedom.

I miss it, I do, but total freedom has a cost. You have to fill that freedom.  You have to find things to do with you time. I remember being bored.  Wow, that's a concept I can't even imagine at this point. I'd pay a babysitter just to feel bored, except I'd end up organizing, doing laundry, or running to the store. 

I'd love to be able to spend diaper money on something else. Keep in mind, diapers cost a pretty penny down here.  Then again, if I didn't have to buy diapers, I wouldn't have a little toosh to wrap up.  It's amazing that we can find those little tooshes so cute after seeing everything that comes out of them. I mean EVERYTHING. 

So I guess you could say I don't really have friend envy. I have friend appreciation. I really do appreciate all the fun things my friends get to do.  I get a healthy jealousy when I hear a friend is going to Italy or Spain, Chile or Australia. I am, honestly, at my highest level of maturity in my life thus far to be able to be stoked for my friends and slightly jealous because I'm so stoked for my friends. 

They also share with me. My wonderful childless friends meet up with me at a whim, when I have a babysitter or when I'm not too exhausted to go out.  They come over or have my whole family over and play with my kids for hours. They don't even flinch if something is broken.  My 5 star friend lets me sit on her balcony, enjoy her view, and drink her wine whenever I want.  I have wonderful childless friends.  

And when the going gets tough, and I mean really tough, aka. ear infection, staph infection, husband traveling, and period all at the same time, I remember that it's going to be one hell of a post eventually. 


  1. I definitely miss the pre-baby days of spontaneous and carefree freedom and knew that I was bidding adieu to that freedom once I got pregnant. Though I realize I made the choice to become a mom, I still yearn for freedom all the time, actually, so when I do get a few moments here or there (which are rare), I relish them.

    I realize my life has changed forever and at the moment revolves around my daughter (and preparing to move to Rio!). It's not easy by any means, but maybe once she goes to school I'll get some of my "old life" back.

    On the other hand, I realize that my little girl will never be 1 or 2 or 3 etc. again so I cherish the luxury of being able to stay at home with her during her youngest years as exhausting, consuming and demanding as they are.

    My other mommy friends of course understand what life is like with a toddler and a few of my childless friends do, too.

    I don't think I envy any of my friends as much as I simply miss the good ol' days of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want, even something simple and basic like taking a shower or going to the bathroom in peace.

    I knew that parenthood was a tough job before signing up for it, but I didn't realize it would be this tough! Well no turning back now...just got to carry on, and at the end of the day I'm grateful if my child is healthy, happy, is learning, and eats and sleeps well (now if I could only get her to learn her manners!) ;-)

  2. see ur such a loser.. cleaning ur child's ass all day long.. thats why you write so much about other people's lives.. cuz urs is shit!

  3. ... invasion of the anonymous crap taker...

  4. Hey Anonymous, are you just sad because your Mom never took the time to clean yours? If you don't like my blog, don't read it.