Monday, August 30, 2010

Honking Magic

Rua das Laranjeirasa has traffic every day from about 6pm to 8pm. Every day people. You can count on it as much as you can count on morning wood, well in men from the ages of 12 to 48. 

Hell, all of Zona Sul, Rio de Janeiro for that matter, has traffic from 6pm to 8pm.  And that´s why I get so annoyed when people honk.

I live right on Rua das Laranjeiras with a beautiful view of the street from my living room. Jealous? I know!  Anyway, every single night there´s at least 3 jack asses who honk like the seven horses of the Apocalypse, or how they would honk if they were driving cars and not flying horses.  So what´s the deal? It´s not like it´s a surprise. Not even foreigners would say "Oh my, Rua das Laranjeiras has traffic. How strange". 

I swear, deep down in their hearts they think their horns are magic.  It´s really the only excuse.  They think if they honk enough, the cars are going to suddenly part and it´ll be smooth sailing all the way up to the Santa Barbara tunnel. 

What they don´t realize is that their horns really are magic, only not in the way that it seems.  One of these days, if they keep honking them enough, they are going to call a strange tall, blond woman who will seemingly fly out from nowhere and rip the damn horn right out of their steering wheel. 

All I need now is a cape...


  1. This magical thinking about horns makes me crazy too. Do they really think it will make a difference in the traffic if they lay on their horns? I heard Johnny Carson say once "The shortest measurable period of time is the time between when the traffic light turns green and the guy behind you honks his horn." He must certainly have been to Brazil!

  2. It's a bad Brazilian habit. There's absolutely no traffic jam here, at all. My street rarely ever has a car passing by, but it doesn't matter. Although I have 2 different door bells, people come and honk their horns instead of ringing the bell. If we don't come out in like 2 seconds, they honk some more, then ring both bells. Heck, some people just honk their stupid motorcycle horns when they get home, no calling intended. Just to annoy the neighbours a little bit.