Sunday, September 12, 2010

No you can´t see me naked

There are certain people in my Brazilian life that I do not need to remember are women and men. They are people, of course, but are non-sexual beings in my mind. Call me crazy but it works. 

Now Brazilian swimwear makes this quite difficult. There´s no hiding behind the 3 inches of fabric they give you.  I´m comfortable with that. I bust out the Brazilian bikini at the beach and pool without a problem, normally. 

The thing is, when you are sun bathing like a Carioca, everyone knows what God gave you.  It´s almost like being a tease with just the bits and pieces covered.  Of course, we can all tell what´s under there. 

So you can imagine how I felt when I saw that I was about to run into our pediatrician at the pool. Yes, I´m about to be 30 and am a mother of 2.  I should be somewhat mature. We´d all like to think that, wouldn´t we.  Well, I´m not. I took evasive action. 

Call it what you will but I´m not ready to have an idea of the fruits God gave the man that checks my kids´ ears. I have to be able to go to a doctors appointment without thinking about what lies beneath! 

I could not look.  Sure you would say that.  Of course I would look! Are you kidding me?! I´m that girl that if you say, oh don´t look Rachel, I`m a lookin´.  I´m also that person that slows down her car to stare at accidents, laughs at inappropriate times, and spills wine on children (long story). 

Think of me what you will.  But you know, deep down, you only love me a little bit more. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh God, you're gonna get more haters now for that wine spilling... who will they quote now, I wonder... Xuxa?
    My funny child story, the one that made my mom most embarrassed, was of me in an elevator trying to grab some man's package in a speedo, bc it looked like daddy's and it seemed like a fun thing to do when you're 3...