Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My Maid, My Wife

I have a hard time asking my maid to do things.  Weird, right?  She works for me on the days she´s in my home and I find it demeaning to tell her what to do. 

I already feel like a lazy slob if I don´t have to work and she´s here.  There am I sitting on my ass while she´s cleaning my house.  I should be somewhere cleaning something too but then, doesn´t that negate the whole having a maid thing in the first place?

I blame my parents.  What? Well of course everything is their fault.  Yes, I am well aware that I will be bit in the ass by my own theory eventually. 

It´s their fault because I never had a maid growing up. I am not accustomed to having people work in my house.  I see Brazilians not batting an eye at giving instructions... Ok, I also see some foreigners who have gotten into the game. 

So what´s the big deal?  My maid does everything stupendously, what do I have to complain about?  Well, it´s the organization of the toys. 

See, even you rolled your eyes with that one! But there is logic in my crazy!  My boys have a decent amount of toys that we, or family and friends, have brought over from the states. Of course all the toys have all their particular pieces. I even bought little colored baskets to keep them organized.

Yes, I´m that Mom now. 

Well, my maid couldn´t care less. She is in the rush to clean and is throwing crap where ever it fits. Kicker, my kids won´t play with a pile of stuff. Not known to non-parents, you keep things relatively organized and you got yourself a lot of self play time.  Like, Imaginex there, instruments here, figurines in there, etc.

And I feel like a petty cow saying, really you don´t keep the toys where they belong. I mean, that´s a whole new level of anal. To make matters worse, I doubt she even knows what goes with what.

That is combined with the factor that Brazilian maids put EVERYTHING away. It makes the house look cleaner. Seriously! I come home amazed and then think, oh crap, where are all my English lesson plans I left on the desk??? Why did I leave something on the desk on a Monday?!

So long story short, I get so annoyed that every Tuesday I´m cleaning up the toys and getting them back into their place only to have to returned to piles a couple of days later.  I get even more annoyed over my making a mountain of a molehill.  Where are my balls and why do I need ball just to ask her to do something a particular way? 

But she gives me this look.  This oh I see how it is, you are one of them, treating me like a maid.  But she is my maid!  But she is also an amazing woman who´s company I enjoy, even when I´m cranky. 

Omg, I get it now! I don´t have a maid, I have a wife!


  1. Oh my god, this brings me back to my mom's "CLEAN THE HOUSE, THE MAID IS COMING!" mania! She convinced herself we needed a maid, but was so embarassed to have a messy house, she forced everyone to scrammble around at 6am on a Sunday morning so the maid wouldn't see crumbs on the counter or clothes on the floor. I guess whatever gets us motivated to get the house clean, but couldn't she have just bought a whip and ditched the maid.

  2. I cook lunch for our housekeeper to help me feel better about telling her what to do.

    There are some things I'm guessing she just does not like to do, so if I don't remind her she never cleans it -- like washing fingerprints off doors and light switch plates, or changing the foil liner on the bottom of the oven.

    Still, it's all very freaky having someone cleaning for us. But I LOVE IT!

  3. I love it too! There´s nothing like coming home from the centro and finding your house spotless. Best part, I didn´t do any of it!

    My husband´s Aunt cleans the house before the maid comes. Once the aunt was traveling and the maid scolded her adult daughter for not washing the dishes from the night before. The daughter looked at her and said, why would I do your job for you. I´m not my mother.

  4. Being new to Rio and still living in a hotel, it feels weird to have someone clean up after me when I've never had a maid before.

    I also worry about the message it's giving my 2 year old because she doesn't see me clean here, though she did see me clean back in the US.

    I suppose when we finally get our own place, I'll get a maid, and I'll have a whole new dynamic to figure out.

    But I'm still going to make my daughter do her own clean up! She's already pretty good about initiating clean up on her own, and I don't want to waste all my previous effort in training her!

  5. Funny that. Growing up in Africa, we always had a maid or what do I call a male maid and sometimes even somewone in the garden. It was no problem fro us as kids to ask them to do naything - within reason (if not the parents were consulted). Seven years in the UK and on my return I found it such an embarassing thing to do. I am going to have to get used to it again soon!