Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sorry, did you say Labia or Apartment for rent?

Waxing chit chat has always weirded me out.  It's like a strange social volleyball match, working to keep the the conversation going back and forth while all players attempt to not get anything burnt off. 

It's just odd.

Take today, for example. I went in to get my lady parts beautified and ended up talking real estate. 

That should be outlawed! No one should have to discuss rising mortgage rates while someone is messing around in between their legs.  It was either that or my viewpoint, as a foreigner, on Dilma's win.  I chose the lesser of two evils.

I know what you are going to say, why talk at all.  Well, that just makes it worse.  I end up having flashbacks to my early boyfriends, just waiting for them to finish down there so I can get on with my day.  Some memories are best left dormant.

And I won't even begin to imagine what she's thinking.  She's working, she's having to be on for the client, and she has to try not to rip anything important off with the hair.  I'm sure she was like, "great another foreigner who I have to attempt to understand while de-beastifying."

Of course, she's Brazilian, kinder by nature than us Americans, so I bet it was more like,"oh, a foreigner, I wonder how she likes Rio. I bet we're going to need the spatula for this one."

But this is what society has come to. We are small talkers and uncomfortable in silence. 

I will say though, my favorite little chit chat moment today went something like this:

Waxer: "You know how it is, everything in Brazil is just done a little half-assed. I'm finish, is it ok? (pointing to her work)"

Me: " You missed a spot"

Waxer: "See what I mean."


  1. Ok, but really, how do you feel about Dilma's win?? Just joking, I don't really really wanna hear...

  2. I'm soooo tired of talking about Dilma

  3. I once had a waxer show me my friend's hairy wax ball, no joke! She told me I was being a baby and that I wasn't that hairy. My friend, on the other hand (who had just gone before me) was super hairy, and my waxer took it upon herself to prove it. Oh yes, that is a big hairy ball of wax in the trash your my face...OKAY BACK OFF!

  4. Dear Rachel,

    You are a very, very brave woman.

    I had my nose waxed in June for a weeding in Sao Paulo, I really thought the woman had ripped half my nose right off...I will never do that again... ever, ever...scary!
    They stick a wooden stick (palito de sorvete) with hot wax, wait about a minute and rips it off like like the stick was on fire...or something...
    I might say that my soul momentary left my body for a couple seconds with feeling and thought that my nose was no more...
    I even felt a cool sensation like something was actually missing...
    They were laughing at me after wards while I was feeling for my nose, I asked for a mirror to see the damage with my own remaining eyes...
    Nothing, just a hairless, waxed clean nose, but the trauma has stained my brain for life...
    I honestly don't know how you ladies can do it...I won't ever wax anything ever again.
    Well, on a second thought, you guys were fit for natural birth, this must be a breeze... :)


  5. Rachel (and especially Ray in this case) TMI!! TMI- TMI fingers in my ears - TMI yada - yada- yada- cha- cha- cha - ouch - ouch- ouch - why are you telling me this!!!

    Do you want me to tell you about my unfortunate experience with a guy when I was not prepared?

    Let's set some limits!!

  6. I don't know what you read but I was talking about small talk :p lol

    And yes, I would like to hear that story!