Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Creepy Carioca Men
As much as anyone would imagine saying a creepy sounding 'Oi' and then licking your lips would attract the opposite sex, it doesn't. Shockingly, it does not help if you translate Oi, you intellectual man you, into Hi.
Logically, because you seem oh so logical, if you say "You are so beautiful," I'm just going to jump into your arms while simultaneously ripping off my clothing. Oh yes, everything you've heard about us American women is true.
And the biggest winner would have to the sounds. Whistles, grunts, mmmm hmmmms, and all other non-verbal conversation sends me over the roof. As if Rio de Janeiro wasn't hot enough already.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome that you leave your house feeling like a non-Metro Rodrigo Santoro. Confidence is something everyone should have. I just suggest you stop for a second and look around your house. Any Gringa women putting their clothes back on there? Laying naked in your bed? Have you received any phone calls in English or broken Portuguese lately?
My guess is going to be no for all of the above. So maybe, just maybe, your methods are not quite hitting their target. Don't worry, we all know you have mad skills, you really don't need to prove it to anyone. Just saying we ladies are weird and don't get obvious moves.
Personally, I love it when a man plays hard to get. Just turns me on. Maybe you should try ignoring us! Maybe we don't even exist. Try it out for a while and see how it fits. Hell, couldn't get any worse...
But it could get a whole lot better for us!