So how many of you have peed into a diaper as an adult? I'm not talking about Depends or the elderly.
I, all 30years, peed into my bed wetting preschooler's diaper. Not my classiest moment.
The funny thing is that after 40 hours of travel, sleeping in the airport with 2 kids, and convincing United Brazil to transfer us to another company to fly on to Rio, the diaper is the best part.
You see, I stood my ground and told my 4 year old that he had to try to pee again. We were about to get into the car for the 2 hour drive from my parent's place to Washington Dulles International Airport. Everyone must use the bathroom. Since I just had like 20 minutes earlier, I didn't feel the need to go.
Of course, by the time we reached DC, the rain had gone from sleet to snow. When the flakes started to really fly, my urine was screaming out like a 13 yr old boy who just got hit in the jewels by a baseball.
We were 11 miles from the airport exit. 11miles! Of course, at that point, we had slowed down to 10 miles an hour.
That's when math came into play. I could do an hour. So when about 7.4 miles until exit came up and we had slowed to 6 miles per hour, I had some things to consider. Snow, God, and my bladder were starting to play some evil games with me.
I had to make a choice. I could either pee into a diaper or wait and see if I could make it to the airport. If I should wait too long to make my decision, I would have too much urine to be able to manage an absorbable stream into big boy pants. You see, Rhinos don't pee into diapers for a reason. Therefore, I could not become one.
It was time to choose. Thankfully, I'm not a shy girl, although this tested that. As you all know, I chose to ease a couple of ml into some fancy shaped cotton. Breathing exercises, meditation, and focus were very much required for this task. I dare you, try to pee into a diaper. It's not as easy as it sounds. My mind kept screaming "Pee in the Potty! PEE IN THE POTTY!" It's like retraining an old dog.
I have to say, this was one of the few moments in my life where I have had penis envy.
But I kicked my bladder's full ass and emptied at least half into the kiddie "panties" without leaking a drop. I figured I could make it the rest of the way to fully relieve myself in a grown up bathroom.
Moral of the story, Go pee before you leave the house or bring your penis.