It's All in a Name

I dare you, go to your local daycare and look at their list of students. Ok, don't do that. You'll look creepy. But as a Mom, I got the inside scoop today while walking the slow path of my youngest's re-adaptation to school.

I was bored out of my mind waiting around so I checked out the class lists posted on the bulletin board in the parent waiting area.  I was astonished by the names. Seriously they have like 4 or 5 of them.

My first thought was how do the parents think of 2 first names!? I had a hell of a time coming up with one.  So you have little João Pedro and cutie Maria Victoria, among many others.  Adorable names.  Really, I am just amazed by the mad name combination skills of the parents here. Gold star.

That's where thought number 2 comes in. I always have a thought #2, don't I.

Anyway, how are they ever going to learn to spell their name? João is a tough enough for a 4 year old. I mean, the accent mark is enough to confuse the smartest of preschoolers. Hell, they can't even do an S, imagine making them do a discrete scribble above a letter. Now add in a second word all together. And go.  

I know you all think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Of course I am. It's what I do best and what my husband loves the most about me. Maybe not the last part.  But just wait for it.  Wait for it.

Add in the last name.

Poor little João not only has to write João Pedro but also has to include Cavalcanti Pereira Silva de Olivera.

João Pedro Cavalcanti Pereira Silva de Olivera.

That's just mean.  You have to have a 5th Grade reading level to master that kind of name! And while that name was a fabulous creation out of my own mind (thank you thank you), the names really are that long.

Hell, you can spot my children's names from a mile away due to the shortness.  Personally, I don't want to be little João Pedro when he goes for a year abroad and tries to get a US drivers license.  We just don't have that kind of space available on our paperwork.

If I had a last name like Cavalcanti Pereira Silva de Olivera, I would name my kid Jay or Joe. Maybe Jose or Yuri. You know, something to lighten up the thing. There's really no need to give them a second first name to cover the Great Grandfather when we see it in the last.

Of course Brazilians are a sentimental people.  They love their families, their names, and mostly their children. They want to honor the elderly they adore by including their name in their childrens'.  That's awesome and I love it.

So their children will bear the burden of that love and then, quite possibly, pass it down to their children. The best part, most hilarious part in my opinion, is that they don't even notice. The double name is all the rage. You know who complains or says something about it, my son with the simple first name. 

Go figure.