Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Montezuma Strikes Again

My Mother is officially on her Brazilian vacation.  I bet you are wondering, if she's been here for 4 days, how is she only official now.

Well, the answer to that is easy. Montezuma has visited her.  I don't know what it is with my Mother and Brazil, but shortly upon entering her bowels enter into an automatic cleanse.  It's quite humorous as we know, within days of landing, we will be hanging near the house. It happens every trip.

I sometimes try to figure out why.  Maybe it's a little bug that enjoys the company of her insides. Maybe she is drinking tap water as a nonverbal move of rebellion.  Or, quite possibly, we really have to stop eating all that Arabic food.  Whatever it is, it does not help hydration.

Personally, my body has never reacted to Brazil in that way.  I have found that Brazil creates a very regular and beautiful digestive routine for this body. On the other hand, it did take me a while to get used to all the beans. Let's just put it this way, you did not want to stand down wind of this charming little lady.  Then again, unbeknownst to my internet friends, hot air is not only escaping out of the mouth of this girl.

Ah well, we can't have it all.  I think I'm cute enough to pull off a little gas. Mr Rant, wouldn't you say so? 


  1. hahaha I've got to give you some support on this one. A rant about flatulence can't go commentless.

  2. Your poor mother! I hope she is feeling better. It's pretty normal when you travel to have a problem in that department wherever you go, I think so at least.

    I remember the first time my Mom came to visit me here, it was 2005 and I was 8 months preg. My mother was scared to death of the food and water issue (having read so many negative things about Brazil) and while she was waiting for a connecting flight in Altanta on her way down, she met an older, well-travelled German woman who advised her to do tequila shots with every meal to avoid problems (yeah, I know this has no basis) but anyhow, she decided that was would she would do. So, there's my Mom (who is NOT a drinker, especially hard alcohol) throwing back shots of tequila during her time here, I have to laugh just thinking about it, so not a thing my mother would normally do. She didn't get sick either.

  3. OMG, I hope this does not happen to me.

    I have learned that I am Lactose intolerant since my last visit so I will avoid any and all dairy products this trip as it makes me really sick!

    I hope your mother is doing better.

    I'm trying to get over bronchitis as we speak.