Friday, April 29, 2011

Is Facebook Ruining Relationships?

While reading the Brazilian Magazine Criativa, I stumbled upon an article called "Facebook and Sex: A new Etiquette for Romantic Relationships."

One thing came to mind: Awesome! Not only has Facebook made it uncomfortably convenient for all of us to have easy access to those people we may want to forget, it's also allowing love to screw with our heads much more efficiently.

You have all  seen at least one facebook couple fight. No easier way to get gossip flowing than by changing your relationship status. Married to it's complicated or in a relationship to engaged. The best being the complete removal of relationship status all together.

Go ahead, make your high school sweetheart's sister wonder if you are still with your husband. Make a comment on a picture and see if your old neighbor's cousin's wife questions the sexual history between the two. Let's rock the boat a bit.

And apparently Facebook brings out affairs! The Criativa article and the AAML site state these statistics:

 "An overwhelming 81% of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML).   Facebook holds the distinction of being the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66% citing it as the primary source."

Way to raise the bar Facebook! Apparently people cheating on their spouses are even easier to catch with this wonderful social network.  In Brazil, I could totally see people accessing their facebook while on a tryst and accidntly checking in: So and So was at Love Time Motel April 24th at 3pm. Oops. 

It's just a matter of time people. If you would kindly refer back to my post on how 70% of Brazilian men cheat, the odds are not with us! Keep track of the relationship statuses of your friends people.

Sadly though, I'm a train wreck kind of girl. I find so much humor in these online back and forths. The status changes, arguing on posts, and/or comments made on a 3rd party's picture of someone else's lover. It's like listening to the neighbor's lovers spat but at your own convenience and with pictures.

I have to say, as the rest of the world starts sharing as much as I do on Facebook, skeletons are leaving closets and creating their own profiles. While high in entertainment factor, this does not always work for the greater good. 

What do you think, are we giving Facebook too much credit or is it taking away the essential mystery in relationships?


  1. Oh Rachel, this Facebook and marital relations, etc argument in my family will get World War III started! While most all of my family except for one sister is on Facebook, she will defiantly defend her opinion that all social networking sites are of Satan and destroys families and marriages.

    Remember, I'm in the Bible belt here. And while I don't disagree that yes, this happens, I still put the blame on the PERSON and not the website. Now this does not mean that I agree that sites such as Ashley Madison should exist. No, that is evil in it's purest form along with porn sites and the latter. But the intention of Facebook was not an evil one, it is humans that have found a way to use it for our lustful and ignorant natures to be fullfilled. Just as we have television, the internet and even photography before these two things came along. As a photographer, one could arge that we should abolish all cameras because people are making pornographic pictures with them. But that is not the reason for a camera but people do it. So it's a senseless argument to say the least.

    In my case, my husband cheated with a woman from work and Facebook had nothing to do with the affair. This woman was not even on Facebook or any social networking site and still isn't.
    So while yes, it is much easier to committ an affair if you are going to have one using FB, can have an affair if you really want at the grocery store, the mall, anywhere. The internet and FB just gives you more opportunity to get it scheduled and as you said, keep up with gossip, etc. But I've used mine for business, to keep in touch with family and friends and of course, follow your blog.

    So yes, it is the better of two evils I think. The people that committ these affairs using FB would have done it anyway at some point I believe. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. I can only say MY own experience with FB.

    I do believe though as a married couple, it is not a bad idea to have a joint FB account and not separate one. That idea I can see being a good thing. Keep everything out in the open if you have nothing to hide.

  2. I agree Shay, it's the people not the site. But the site really does seem to make messing up easier!

  3. As for the joint account, I think it depends on the couple. I know some who have one and Mr. Rant and I don't. Let's see what happens ;)

  4. Just as shay stated "I still put the blame on the PERSON and not the website." A lot of people want to blame social media for ruining their relationships. We are living in a technology obsessed world that makes it easy for a lot of things.
    I personally find it comical when people change their status updates 1x/week. One of my 'friends' goes from being engaged to being single, and back again. Sometimes I want to scream "Make up your mind. Either you're going to marry this person or not!"

  5. I think that Facebook should have a 24 hour wait period for relationship status changes. It's like buying a gun, before you do it you need some time to think about it. It'll save us from the drama!

  6. Facebook doesn't ruin relationships! People ruin relationships! :)

    Also, Facebook has these really good privacy settings that most people just ignore. Hence, your high school boyfriend's sister seeing your every post.

  7. Just like any tool, if its used properly, should not cause problems! I suppose the people whom blame FB or other media for their relationship problems, need a scapegoat.

  8. no lie, last week i had drinks w: the man i have spent my whole life in love w: & until m came along, i swore i would leave anyone i was ever with for him if he would just come back. drinks w: him and his WIFE. why was his wife there? b:c i friended her on fb, natch. yep. i'm that girl. it was a fabulous night, and his wife is awesome. friend me if you dare hahaaahaaaa!