Monday, May 16, 2011

The Drunk Girlfriend

As an expat, I am finding that we women from other countries have different symptoms of drunkenness. Let's take me for example, I hang from the trees like a retarded monkey. If I start talking about penises or how I'm horny, I'm drunk! I also have a special move of my hips, which I think is sexy, that makes me look like I'm going to fall over.

I'm charming, aren't I?

So as an American I am quite taken aback by how subtle people of other countries can be when under the influence. Last night a Scandinavian friend of mine randomly looked at me and said she was drunk.  The conversation went something like "Rachel I am quite drunk. I really am. I think I could possibly fall over."

Talk about being civil and eloquent. And let's not forget that English is her 3rd language!

It's amazing how where you are from can have influence over the littlest things.  As an American it would have come out "heloahlkehre FUCK helkehwlke FALL hethkel Druuuuunk OVER!"

Oh the little lessons Rio de Janeiro will give you. Along with my Finnish friend, my British friends are also quite dignified while drinking the nectar of the gods. When a bit drunk, my closest Brit friend will put her hand on her chest and say something along the lines of 'Oh golly, I'm a bit tipsy.' The others will continue their drunken state with no indication, minus a slight roll of the eyes. It's almost as if they get more dignified with each drink!

With some of these ladies you can't even tell if they've drunk an entire bottle of wine, popped a Valium, or are having an internal debate about the which country provides the best cheese!

And I have to say, I like that! It is something to aspire to, although I doubt my genetics will ever allow me to behave so properly. Then again, maybe the way of the Brazilians is better. While drinking their jokes get louder, their dancing sexier, and then they make out with one another.

Of course, I will save the making out for my husband but still not a bad way to end an evening.

How are you after a few beers?


  1. "If I start talking about penises or how I'm horny, I'm drunk!" This is TOTALLY me! LOL
    If you see me starting to grope every cute guy in sight, or let's face it...just about every guy because they all start looking quite tasty after a few drinks, then you know I am drunk! LOL

    I get horny too after a certain point which is why I always drink with someone I can trust not to let me get on a nearby stage and start ripping my clothes off because I think that the last drink has now made me into a champion pole dancer.

    But it depends on my stage of drunkiness which is very fragile since I'm a total lightweight when it comes to drinking. One drink too many and I'm worshipping the toilet and completely useless for the rest of the night. Just right and I'm dancing like a girl from an ABBA song, laughing my head off, and the cougar in me comes out to play. :)

    Of course, these are just scenarios of the past, I don't do any of this stuff anymore Leon..I swear! LOL

  2. I have to say gal, Brazilian (girls) don't drink as much as irish girls for example and I find it so funny!
    I'm not a fan of beers or whatever, I think as a Carioca I was born this lady gaga...hahahaha

  3. Gotta say that I just started reading your blog, and you crack me up. From your choices of subject matter to amazing, amazing graphics. (Where do you find these images?!)

    Looking forward to more ridiculousness.

    Ahh, as for this post, I went to Oktoberfest way back when in Blumenau (2nd largest Oktoberfest outside of Germany!). I didn't see a single puker. I just know that if I had been in the US, I would've seen all sorts of nastiness (of the puking variety) going on.


  4. Ka- It's true, Brazilian women don't drink that much, from what I've seen! I've been to Ireland and it is quite different from here in that way lol

    Shay- Oh the fun of single days! I'm a lightweight as well. I was quite surprised that one friend was tanked and my other one and I were fine!

    Nick- Glad you like it! I must say that I have serious googling skills when it comes to finding images ;). And hell yes it would be a vomit fest if Americans had Oktoberfest! I did here though that there's a hill where people bring others that have passed out. They lay and sleep it off in the grass and their friends come and get them afterward. Is that true?