Monday, June 6, 2011

10 Ways to Tell You are NOT Brazilian

1. Cake is NOT a breakfast food
2. Coffee is a morning beverage, NOT a Morning, Noon, afternoon, snack time, and evening beverage.
3. 18 degrees C (64 F) is NOT an acceptable reason to put gloves on your child.
4. You do NOT try to negotiate the price of the valet
5. You watch your child playing soccer, NOT cheer and yell as if at Maracana.
6. You sometimes eat just rice, no beans included.
7. Some days you don't eat rice at all *GASP*
8. If you drink 8 beers you get drunk.
9. All that meat is making you constipated.
10. You think a novela is a book. 


  1. 11. You dont wear stiletto 4inchers at.... the park, rock climbing (saw that last weekend), on an international flight or for that matter any flight, at the gym (yep saw that too)
    12. You dont put your full on 10 piece makeup set on while riding a crowded bus
    13. You dont wear 10 spays of Chanel for your morning cycle class while wearing a once piece hot pink number

    =) I love Brazil!

  2. Don't wear skinny jeans if you are pear-shaped, or wear tight clothing if you are overweight!

  3. So many similarities in the S. American countries - I especially relate to the rice! Also, it's around 70F here now, and the school kids are all dressed up like they're on a Himalayan expedition.

  4. LOL, great post again!

    You are NOT Brazilian if you:

    Bring a book to the beach to relax and read. Oh heck, if you read books period!

    If you wait for the crosswalk sign to turn green before crossing the street.

    If you are a dude at the beach and don't sprint full speed into an oncoming wave, dive in with a flair that would have made Greg Louganis proud, and surface radiating immense testosterone in all directions.

    If you drink beer directly out of the bottle.

    If you use any other spice besides salt when you grill your meats.

    If you believe reaching adulthood means moving out of the parent's house and becoming independent. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

  5. Funny that the guy in the picture actually looks Brazilian.

    14. You don't objectify a female with a look to then approach the guy next to you, a person you have never seen in your life, to discuss what you would like to do to said female.

  6. hahahahaha Love all of these #s!

  7. Nice boob you got there, Mr. Gringo!

    Wow, Rachel, this post sounds like fun to me!

    Let's see:

    1- I think the idea of eating cake as my breakfast is just plain revolting.

    2- Oh, that's SO true! Here I AM a "real" Brazilian. To me coffee is a "comfort beverage", makes me feel at home anywhere I'm enjoying it.

    3- What a cruelty, seriously! NO, NO, NO! I don't relate to it at all! I've suffered my entire life with this "Brazilian perception of 'cold' weather", specially when I was a small kid. Here in New England summer is just around the corner and I'm starting to wilt like a freaking bunch of lettuce under the full sun. I wish I could live somewhere where the temperature were steadily around 15C/59F year round. No, I'm NOT a typical Brazilian in this sense.

    4- That's also true, but again, I failed to be the typical Brazilian here as I am the "shy type", so, to me, the less debate the better.

    5- Yuck! I HATE SOCCER! I will never understand those freaks willing to die ( literally ) for their team. Oh boy, At this point I'm having serious doubts about my "Brazilianess", Hehehe. Oh, yeah, and if someone out there thinks it's because I am gay, reconsider it, as I have a bunch of friends that are gay and die-hard soccer fans - maybe because the sluts are really into those muscled hairy legs and much more. ;0)

    6/7- Oh, it's so true, Rachel! I Am a true Brazilian on this one, because I love rice. To me, it's a very versatile food as you can combine it with a lot of things from a simple salad to a more elaborated dish. But we don't eat white rice anymore, which, for us, is kind of a junky food - nutritiously speaking - so we favor the brown Rice instead. But, we still don't eat it every single day, much less with its old fella, the bean - as we think beans are too gassy, so we favor the more easily digestible lentils over beans.

    8- Neither of us can stand alcohol! Nothing is worse than someone's breath and/or sweat stinking of alcohol! So the "8 beers effect doesn't apply to us". But I think it's true for most Brazilian whom are known to ENJOY the drink itself, NOT the (mostly obnoxious) effect of it.

    9- Ray and I are very Brazilian at this one. We are self-confessed carnivorous! We love beef, pork, poultry, lamb, fish, goat, rabbit, frog legs (yes, a delicacy in Brazil and in France) and even the delicious and tender armadillo. "Viva the animal protein"! But, hey, we are also voracious vegetable eaters and watch closely our daily cholesterol intake.

    10- Neither Ray or I used to be "novela" watchers. But it happened to both of us to be there in the couch catching ourselves with the eyes glued on the TV screen (and cursing ourselves later), HAHAHAHA. Anyway, I always believed that our "novelas" are way more "digestible" than those Hispanic ones that are over of the top in terms of drama, funny hairdos, tacky wardrobe, a lot of gesticulations, heavy makeup and cheesiness galore. The shady Globo TV Network soap-operas get to be even better than the American ones I've (tried) to watch as the Brazilian ones seem to be a little bit more believable and less exaggerated in many aspects. No wonder it has been a huge and steadily TV sucess over the last 50 years.


  8. Hey, Americans eat CAKE for breakfast, maybe even more than Brazilians.
    Or how else would you classify a muffin?
    Muffin is an individual cake if you ask me!
    Love muffins by the way, Dunkin Donuts double chocolate chip thank you very much! ;)


  9. muffin is a cake for me and lots of nationalities eat cake / sweet bread for breakfast , drink coffee many times a day , eat rice abundantly.

  10. I'm sure a lot of countries has similar habits. Of course, I haven't been to them.

    While muffins are cake like, it's rare to have them in your house. My mother never pulled muffins out and put them on the breakfast table. I can't tell you how many times cakes has been here

  11. I'm struggling with a problem in Rio. Not sure how to correct. Can you contact me.

  12. Very funny but I have to say that I do like cake as a breakfast food (in fact it's a touch of genius if you ask me) and that coffee is all day. Also, all the meat and beans with rice suits me just fine. Maybe I have been a Brazilian all along and didn't know it haha.