Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Brazilians and Sex

A Facebook friend shared a very humorous link talking about "The Top 50 Mistakes Women Make While Having Sex." Being that I blog about living in Brazil, I'm going to Brazilianize some of these thank you very much.

#1 was a personal favorite: Assume he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. 

I don't know about you but I find that the Brazilian man usually has a hard on, even when it doesn't suit you. These guys have horny down like a bad crack habit. Although I do agree that you can not expect it to just jump up to salute you, unless you are Juliana Paes that is.

#13 has a good message: Allowing your Crotch to resemble the Amazon.

I get where they are going with the Amazon reference although Brazilian women are known for their highly kept up nether regions. Seriously, you let that stuff grow in a bit and your waxing lady tells you off!

#14 is awesome: Assuming that sex means a relationship. They continued to say: "The only relationship you have is that he now has stuck his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha."

I think both sides understand this down here. As I have said before, there is a decent amount of inter-sexing, at least in Rio de Janeiro. I believe there is an understanding that sex does not translate into meeting the very large extended family. At the same time, I have heard that Carioca women wait longer to have sex with Carioca men than they do with foreigners. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

#19 is also one that we have down in Rio: Refusing to be Spontaneous ie. sex outside of the bedroom.

Yeah, people are practically having sex on the streets. Yes, slight exaggeration but when making out like you are dying does happen at 9am on the subway, you feel that way. I think spontaneous sex is happening in Rio as you read this blog post. What was that? I think someone just got pregnant...

#20 I have to mention just because of personal preference: Do not diss the quickie!

People, quickies are the fast food that can supply an orgasm and not make you obese. Go for it! I couldn't see any Brazilian man turning down the quickie. Let me rephrase that, I couldn't see any Brazilian man turn down just about any form of sex, no offense. Also, I think the women here are more open to it. There seems to be an understanding that sex is healthy and good.

#45 may touch home for Brazilian men: "Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand."

I find that one particularly amusing because I have a very close friend who insists that all men LOVE the shocker (look it up on your own if you have to) and that you do it without asking. Of course they'll say no but they say yes when you do it. Sounds like date rape to me. I can't see such a machismo population liking things slid up their toosh but then again you never know.

Anyway, the entire article is hilarious and you should take a look at it. Ladies, in my opinion the points are very true and some of them fall under "learn to live by."

Check it out: The Top 50 Mistakes Women Make While Having Sex


  1. it hot in here all of a sudden? hehe

  2. If there is such a job of a sexologist, I want to be one! LOL
    I find the sexual habits of different cultures really fascinating...seriously! LOL
    Especially in Rio because you're right, it's so open and healthy there. The flip side is also that it's so open and healthy cheating..etc.

  3. yeah kinda funny, but sounded too aggressive, too much like a lecture. i suppose all of them are ok except for the threesome one. that one should not be on the list.

  4. I recommend this book!

  5. It is my experience that most hetero men who are comfortable being sexual and like pleasure do enjoy #45, though they may need to be liquored up initially to feel comfortable to put it into the normal repertoire, depending on the relationship. Intersexing is going on all of the time, so is cheating. And yes, in my experience, Brasilian men can always rise to the occasion, and if not, they are not shy to pop some cialis or viagra. Nights are always long here and hook-up opps are quite likely, so are hangovers.

  6. Brazilians and sex? A match made in heaven? Would have never thought!!!

    Just kidding, obviously. I mean this is the real reason why I want to move to Brasil after all, duh!

  7. Whoever wrote that list is a genius and wise behond his/her years.

  8. Yes, #45 sounds tricky, and I can assure you, it crosses lines on both sides, gay couples, straight couples, that should always be previously discussed. No surprises in that department.
    I recently found out it is becoming a more and more common practice among straight Brazilian couples and in Portuguese it is called "Fio Terra", which made me literally laugh out loud when it was being described to me.


  9. everybody gives it up to foreigners way easier than locals, its a free play. no guilty feelings about never saying a word to them or seeing them again, no worry of the other person running their mouth afterwards, etc etc pure sex yeah baby!

  10. Rachel - always mixing it up grrl!