Hot Brazilians for your Friday!

Today's hot Brazilian for your Friday is a little different. I stumbled upon a fabulously hot ad campaign for Colcci staring none other than Gisele Bundchen and Rodrigo Hilbert. It was all kinds of sweaty tasty that I could resist.

Birthing Around the World with Bundchen

Picture from: http://berkshireonstage.com/

Gisele Bundchen is talking about birth again and it's not to tell us how to do it! Ms. Bundchen is using her fame for good instead of evil and is now plugging her friend/midwive's project: Birthing Around the World. 

"The initiative was created by the midwife and neonatal nurse Mayra Calvetti and her husband, the businessman Enrico Ferrari. Since October 2011 they embarked on a special journey. Their goal is to visit 30 countries over nine months and learn about the different birthing methodologies used all over the world in an effort to help promote the humanization of birth. They started by traveling to Europe and have already been in countries where the public health system works and encourages natural childbirth like England, Netherland and Germany."

I think this is a wonderful and amazing project. Pregnancy and birth are not disorders or illnesses to take care of. Brazil desperately needs to change this perception. I will never forget meeting a woman at the hospital here in Rio de Janeiro. I was waiting for my ultrasound appointment and she was in the early stages of labor. Of course we started chatting. Yes, it would be stranger to not chit chat with a random person while waiting in a lobby in the early stages of labor than chit chat. 

She told me that she was waiting for her OB and that she really hoped the doctor would get there before it was too late for a c-section. I couldn't hide my shock! Hell, I can hardly hide my shock in normal circumstances but when super hormonal and after hearing something insane there was no chance in hell. 

I asked her why on Earth she would opt to have a c-section. She replied that she was scared of natural birth. I told her that getting your abdomen cut open was far scarier, takes way longer to heal, and seriously messes up your abs. She didn't care. She said she would try everything to make sure that child came out via c-section. 

So please help us down here Gisele, Mayra and Enrico. Goodness knows the population needs some sense talked into them and the doctors a good old fashioned bitch slap. 

Check out the first video of the trip:

Do you think this will make a difference? 

Hot Brazilians for your Friday! Expat Edition

In honor of my parents return to the US this evening, I will be posting pictures of two HOT Brazilians who have decided to live outside of Brazil.

Gisele Bundchen is by far the most famous of Brazilian expats in the US. As much as she puts her foot in her mouth, she is capable of making even that pose look hot. 

Leonardo Barbosa hails from Sao Paulo and is guard for the Toronto Raptors. I do believe this man can heat up even the chilly terrain of Canada! 

Gisele Bundchen takes on the Sun and off the Sunscreen

Gisele Bundchen is at it again. This time, the Brazilian Goddess of the sun is attacking one of it's worshipers, sunscreen companies.  


She was quoted as saying:

'I cannot put this poison on my skin,' the 30-year-old said. 'I do not use anything synthetic.'

Bundchen claims she only exposes herself to the sun before 8am when it's still too weak to do any damage. Nerds of the world, combine your powers to bring down the wicked Large Mouther Witch of the Southern Hemisphere and find pictures proving this wrong.  


Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if Ms. Gisele could tell the sun off and make it go back to 8am.  Remember your place you big ball of gas!


The National Cancer Institute of Brazil obviously had something to say about Gisele's new foot in mouth comment.  

"Sunscreen prevents damage to the skin and is of fundamental importance for the prevention of cancer. This is not any poison, when a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion."

Now maybe she does follow the 8am rule. If I made gazillions off of my looks, I would hide under a rock if I needed to. But something tells me, like her tan lines, that 8am is just not happening.

Maybe sunscreen is full of nasty shit, like everything else. But something inside me says that cancer is much nastier.  Ah well, to each there own.  

Rio de Janeiro Middle Class is Killing Me!

Middle class life in Rio de Janeiro is killing me, financially.  And they are doing it slowly.

My cross to bear is that I´m American. I have a particular definition of middle class and it just doesn't always fit.  Like two-ply toilet paper and non-powdered milk.  I thought that at 30 years, I'd be sitting relatively pretty, wiping my toosh with comfort and drinking my chocolate milk. It's proving to be a little more difficult than just that. 

For starters, I've made a couple of mistakes.  We bought a home on loan from Caixa and we procreated.  Basically I was screwed twice, actually three times, in this equation.  Once figuratively and twice literally. At least I got pleasure out of two of them.  I'll let you figure out which.

The interest rates at Caixa seem slightly shocking on paper and heart attack inducing in real life.  It's like, YEAH it's payday! Oh wait, taxes.  Ok, still good.  Oh crap Caixa... It's the baby Momma without the past action and no obnoxious stepchild.

But you know, you can survive. And we did purchase before the big upswing in real estate prices.  So when we finally own our home, after both my husband's and my death after our loooong life, our kids will be sitting pretty.  Thank goodness. That last sentence may or may not be sarcastic.

And how do our beloved joys add into the equation?  Well, diapers for one are highway robbery. I almost considered that crazy Gisele Bundchen idea of potty training your 3 day old.  From a living in Brazil standpoint, it's worth being in the bathroom every hour and all the extra laundry.  I mean, a pack of diapers costs as much as a decent meal out.  We're talking R$23 to R$30 a pack. 

No I don't buy the super cheap ones.  It's not because I'm prissy but because they are crap!  I might as well strap some of my precious two-ply around my kid's butt. Not pretty.I think my wood floors would up and leave me if I put them through that again. 

Then there's school.  You start at 2 yrs here.  Totally normal, unless it's public school. My husband won't let me do public school on principal. No, not the one you think.  It's because those spots need to be saved for people who really need them. People who really can't afford private school.  I love him for that. My purse does not.

You would think my child was attending Harvard finger painting school.  I sure as hell hope they come out brilliant and socially fabulous.  Of course when they do, I will take full credit.  I mean, 4 hrs a day can not do miracles. That one belongs to Momma.

I've decided it's come down to groceries. My poor boys are having their cookies and whole wheat bread taken away. We're going rice and beans all day every day baby... Ok, I can't do that one either.  I can't look at the same food twice a day every day. Just call me a princess.  Actually I prefer Princess Rachel Sassiest Pants of the whole world.  That is, if you insist on calling me a princess.

So I guess I'm not that bad off and I really am not planning on changing my lifestyle. Maybe I just wanted to share.  But, then again, isn't that what a blog is for? 

Hey Gisele, shhhhhhhhh

I really try not to hate Gisele Bundchen. This struggle started when I was an insecure little thing starting college.  There she was, the epitome of woman, walking runways all over the world and staring life in the face. I was jealous.

I got over my hatred of the super duper model.  Took some time but as I grew into myself, I could appreciate someone elses beauty without comparing.

And then she had to go and have a baby.  Ok, the initial annoyance with her was of no fault of her own.  It was my bad, my issues.  And now you ask? It's so her fault!

I'm happy for her that she had such an easy labor.. But then to talk to the newspapers like, 'of course I did! It's only childbirth, you just hop into your tub and pop out a baby.'  I'm just waiting for her to say she really doesn't make much money modeling but shits gold.

We'll let that slide though.  It's a good thing that a famous woman is so open about natural birth. She is doing society a favor by pushing natural and/or vaginal births. I say natural and/or vaginal because it has been brought to my attention that they are different things... I'm going to choose to hold my tongue on that one for now.

So good for Gisele! She's beautiful, rich, and had an easy natural labor.  She must have led a good past life!  But she really pissed me off when she talked about pregnancy weight. Here's her quote:


I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week. I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate, and I gained only 30 pounds.

I think I just threw up in my mouth. This is where I have to say Shut Up.  Pregnancy is not always simple. The last thing women need to do is worry about their weight. I'm not saying you should go and put on 40, 50, 60lbs. And she did put a healthy amount of weight on but the way she phrased it sucks.  The, I'm holier than thou, is hitting me in the face.  I have seen many woman worry about how much weight they are gaining in pregnancy enough that it could potentially hurt the baby.  Of course I've also seen the other side.

The point being, pregnancy weight is not about how you will look afterward. It's about gaining and eating well for the development of your baby!  I know a Vegan woman who stuck to her diet and gave birth to an over 9lb baby!  I ate a little bit of everything possible, gained 39 lbs, and had a 8lb 4 oz baby.  It's important what you eat. You should try to eat healthy but not because of the weight but because of the baby.  It's a balance between too much and too little, kind of like life.  It worries me that some poor girls out there are going to read Gisele's comments and stick to diets that are not in the best interest of their unborn child. 

Let's not even get into the difference of means. She stopped working to enjoy the special pregnancy period, had private exercise classes, and has pimp genetics!  Not pimp like you are my ho but pimp meaning awesome. I should have just said awesome...
 
Anyway, stop the woman on woman hate!  That also goes for Mommy on Mommy hate!  We have it hard enough, do we really need a millionaire supermodel telling us how to do pregnancy?  If I want to turn into a cow and then complain about it, that's my prerogative.  I did do it too, my second pregnancy.  I don't recommend it.  Gaining 49lbs is a bit much.

PS. Gisele, coming from a friend, shhhhhh. Just sit and look pretty. You come off like a bitch when you talk.