I'm Home!

Buenos Aires was beautiful. I can't say it wasn't. It was so clean, had amazing wine, few people begging on the street (only because they live too far from the city), and lovable meat. 

By the way, when I say lovable meat, I really mean orgasmic.  Seriously, you go to the right place and it's so orgasmic you are practically being inappropriate at the table. Of course, who wouldn't expect me to be inappropriate...

But in the end, I was ready to come home to my city. I missed the overt PDAs, the the muffin tops, and the beer.  There are some skinny Argentinians in Buenos Aires and some stores that don't carry 'your size'.  Not here baby. My ass is like the ass of a child in Brazil. It's so small in comparison that I'm practically a petite. 

And I missed people talking loudly.  Why you ask? Because I have adapted to Brazil and, until now, I didn't realize that I also talk loudly.  Maybe that's why people actually referred to me as Brazilian!  That or the fact that I was speaking really REALLY bad Portanol.  Either way it's crazy since I basically have an American flat tattooed on my forehead, I look so stinking American. 

Anyway, I recommend a visit to Buenos Aires.  It's a fun city, not that much cheaper than Rio, hate to break it to you.  You get 2.2 pesos per real.  Then keep in mind that, for example, a cheaper bottle of wine at the grocery store costs 30 pesos thus 15 reais. Basically the same thing. A little cheaper, but nothing to write home about. 

So I recommend a mini trip and running around.  Then I recommend coming back to Rio. Really, you just can't beat this city! 

Muffin Tops are taking over!

I´ll be the first to admit that I´m really not one who can talk a lot of shit about fashion faux pas.  My attempt at fashion is buying the newest color of Havaianas available. 

That being said, even I´ve noticed what´s going down on the streets in Rio.  There are so many fashion nightmares that you can´t walk one city block without getting an eyefull of something wrong. 

But fair enough, right? While usually quite stylish, some Cariocas just dress to the beat of their own drummer. 

Well, I just can´t let one thing go. I just can´t.  It drives me insane.  You know which one it is?

THE MUFFIN TOP! 

I hate it!  I want to liberate those poor suffering waistbands and let the extra skin fly!  Don´t get me wrong now, this has nothing to do with the size of the person.  The mindblowing thing about the Carioca muffin top is that it comes all sizes, from XXS to XXL.  The clothes are just too freaking small!

Seriously, if you are a Carioca and you are reading this post, look down at your waist. Is your ass trying to escape via the back of your pants? Your abdomen reaching down and zipping up your jeans for you?  If so, it´s a muffin top situation.  

And it´s gotten serious.  I worry for my kids safety. If they should get too close to some of the muffin tops roaming they city, they could drown. All they´d have to do is look up. 

It´s almost an epidemic.