Do I Feel Safe in Rio de Janeiro?

"Why can't I carry the ipad to the car?"

"Because we live in Rio de Janeiro and it could get stolen. Sorry sweety, just a fact of life."

That was a little conversation I had with my 5 yr old this weekend. He really wanted to leave the restaurant carrying the ipad. I'm sure it would have been fine but I just don't like to even hint at attracting attention or unwanted action.

It got me thinking. Am I afraid? Wow, talk about a loaded question.

I never ever admit it outright but yes I am sometimes afraid. I have actually stopped reading or watching the news here because of it.

There really are a lot of horrible things happening here! There are also a lot of people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. That scares the shit out of me. I'm constantly cruising around with my boys and what if we were passing by when there was a random shooting with the police at one of their little kiosky points? What if I was driving with the kids and got carjacked. Would the guy give me enough time to get either or both of my kids out of their seats? (fyi, I have taught my 5 yr old how to get out just in case.) And if I am on my own and stealing just isn't enough, what then?

Honestly, I could go on but I won't. These thoughts sit there in a dark back corner of my mind. I make them stay there. I refuse to live daily playing the 'what if' game. It's just way too real down here to manage that without losing your sanity.

So I decide to not be afraid because, let's be honest, there isn't that good of a chance that it'll happen in my area. *knock on wood*

Generally I don't even think about that dark corner of my brain. I cruise around everywhere, take mass-transit, and *gasp* use my cellphone in public. I live here. I decided a long time ago that if I was going to live here that I would really do it.

That means that I take my obviously American gangly white ass out wherever it needs to go. I take the kids, I listen to my mp3 player, ipod, or whatever and I live my life while sticking to well populated areas *wink wink*.

How about you? Any city ever make you nervous? 

Alarm Backpack: Safety or a Bit Much

You have babies and then you want to protect them. It's so very natural. They are your little souls walking around the world.  And as a gringa in Rio de Janeiro, I really feel that.  I live in a great neighborhood and I know that this city is far safer than CNN would have you believe, but you still get nervous.

It's just a little different down here. We don't have the Amber alert system. Hell, we hardly have any kind of system like that in place at all.  It's almost as if Brazilian society is sittings somewhere in between ignorance is bliss and we have to do something.  And it's a shame because I've always loved this relaxed your-kids-are-safe-everywhere-here attitude.  Reality has a way of just biting everyone in the ass.

Then I saw this Alarm backpack. Your kid get snatched and they call pull an alarm.  And these backpack sellers really hit a core with parents.  They say, you put alarms on your buildings, why not your children? Robbery went down after alarms, why not kidnapping?

And initially, it sounds pretty damn good.  I mean, who wants their kid snatched. Not to mention, I bet a screaming backpack, attached to a screaming kid, would even get the attention of busy Cariocas.
But if you follow along these lines of safety, why not put a Lojack bracelet on their ankle.

On the other hand, while safety is important, how safe is your 4 year old going to feel being attached to an anti-kidnapping system. What kind of innocent childhood can they have always looking over their shoulder. Isn't it bad enough that we are. Hell, playgrounds are now padded to keep the scrapies away.  I'm surprised people aren't making their kids use helmets in pools!  Isn't it all getting a little out of control?

I've decided to go old school on safety. I'm going to get an ulcer worrying about my child and they will never know. I will hover in a semi-discrete manner. I will hide around corners when necessary. And I will not attach my 4 year old to a cordless leash.

Who am I kidding, I'm not a discrete hoverer by any  means!

It comes down to this: horrible things happen.  Our job is to protect our children from these horrible things.  But I have to take a step back when I feel that my protection methods are interfering with them actually living.

I don't think this backpack, a tracking devise, or melting my children to my legs so we can become one would help.  It's just a big old slippery slope of paranoia.  You need to be careful and conscientious. And I know that it does not always work with the world the way it is, the way it was, and the way it will be.  But I won't have my kids worrying about it. I think I worry about it enough for the both of us.

What would you do? Backpack or no? Do you think countries like Brazil, without the protective programs of the US, suffer from more child abductions? 

Danger in Rio

Danger in Rio is a fact of life. It happens just like dog poop on the street and samba music.  It's a big enough topic that both Daily Life in Rio and Becoming Brazilian have both discussed it, along with numerous others I'm sure.

So what are we scared of? I can't speak for all of you but I have my Rio de Janeiro fears.

I am afraid of getting carjacked by gun point.  When I drive, I'm usually alone with both my kids. How would I get them both out of the car in time enough to not piss off the crazy guy with the gun??  What if he drove off with one or both of my kids?  I find no way around this fear.  I drive where I'm familiar. I leave space to turn around, when possible. I keep the windows up and the door locked.  Short of a bullet proof car, which I'm not willing to pay the R$50,000 I don't have to buy one, what can you do?

My other fear is a random gun fight while on the street.  It's not that common but can happen.  I do have contingency plans. Yes, I'm that bad. I would run into a building with my boys and take cover.  That or roll with them under a car.  Yeah, I'm paranoid sometimes. It happens when you have little ones!  It's like two pieces of my soul cruising the streets.  I worry.  

The next is even more ridiculous but not at the same time. I'm from the states where fire drills are done everywhere!  The firemen used to bring a fake house to the school, fill it with smoke, and train us kids how to get out correctly.  Annually!  Imagine the shock of the head of my oldest's first daycare when I asked them their plan in case of fire. They had like 200 kids smooshed into a three story house!  Fire hazard much!  Her answer, get them out. I just looked at her, dumbfounded, until I realized that was it.

People, it wasn't just the school. I think the same way about buildings. Where are the alarms? I brought alarms from the US when I was pregnant with my first. I was like super safety lady.  My husband's thing is that the buildings are made of concrete, it won't burn down the whole thing.  This did not make me feel better.  But my alarms were taken down the first time the maid fried some chicken.  There just is no way to do it.  It's like hanging an alarm above a camp fire in the woods, just doesn't work.

So what did I do? I dealt with it until it was absorbed like cheap baby oil on my kid's toosh.  What can you do? I live here and every place has their flaws.  You can't head out on the street in bullet proof vests with fire extinguishers in your pocket. In an ideal world, I'd become a ninja.  I've thought about it but it's just not in the cards. I'm already 30 and really not that flexible. I think my face kick would hit them in the jugular... could work though.  I would love to be able to Alias someone's ass! Not only would it be effective, my ass would look great after all the training!

What fears do you guys have in your cities?