Blog Friends?

I had no idea that I'd actually meet people because of my blog. I had absolutely no clue that the rants that I would post could possibly help other people! The fact that you guys would seek me out to ask personal questions, or even just ask them in comments, is amazing to me.

I have connected with so many people via Rachel's Rantings that I can't understand why I didn't do it before. Maybe I wasn't in a good place. Surely I didn't have the grasp of the culture nor accept it as I do now. I also didn't get life, love, nor marriage, not that I necessarily get it now.

The thing is, we all reach out to each other in one way or another. While I may just be words on a screen, I do feel the things that are shared with me via comments, emails, or tweets. I just have to say that I am honored that you would choose to share with me. Screw reading my blog, you share your feelings. That takes balls!

I have always known I have awesome readers and anyone who has followed my comment area would know the same. Really, the comment section is usually the best part of the whole blog! But I just wanted to take a minute and thank you guys for being here.

I love being a part of your questions, debates, and comments. I love that I have such a random mix of readers. I really just like my readers in general! Seriously! The interaction on here is a shining star in the middle of the day.

Thank you! Thank you for reading, sharing, and coming back. Thank you for feeling free to contribute. This blog would be nothing without you guys! 

The Maze of the Uninspired

I'm starting to think my Mother-in-law was right about the whole Feng Shui thing. I am so uninspired I may as well be constipated. 

She told us to not put our computer in our little office alcove in the hallway. She said "The energy there is not conducive to creativity. You will not be able to perform if that is your work area." Of course all of that was in Portuguese and said much more eloquently but go with me for a minute.

I finally got tired of having the damn computer on a table in our dining room. It looked like crap and we are trying to sell our place. I said screw it with this eastern froofy crap. Screw the moon, the stars, and the direction of our home. Let's put stuff where it actually goes. 

And here I am lacking any and all motivation to write. Actually, I have motivation up to the moment I sit down at the freaking computer. 

So it got me thinking, maybe we weren't bat ass crazy to not buy that first AMAZING apartment because the bathroom is in the middle (I'm still bitter about it by the way). I'm also thankful that my c-section with The Menace happened to land on a good moon.

Yes, my Mother-in-law told me dates for when the moon would be favorable (once C-section talk started). I looked at Mr. Rant and asked how in the hell I was supposed to explain this to my OBGYN. He shrugged. I thought about who I had to deal with the next 20+ yrs. Guess who won.

So now I am wondering where I should move this freaking desktop. Apparently astrology is the new black and it is stopping my creativity. I know you all have some "reasonable" explanations behind it but it's been over a month of scraping at the edges and my mind is starting to hurt.

Hot damn, I just may buy 3 bottles of wine and pull out my copy of The Sun Almost Rises. I just need one true sentence.

Any suggestion as what it may be?

Rio de Janeiro Blogger Meet up!

A blogger meet up is being planned once again! Our good friend Jim over at Qualidade de Vida has all the information for you. 

He is currently taking suggestions for the best blogger meet up spot. Have a suggestion? Drop him a line! 

Mark your calendars for the July 16th and let's get together, talk shop, and speak some English!

The Blog Contest

If you are a reader of my blog, my follower on Twitter, or a fan of my Facebook page (especially this one) you have seen that I am in the running for something.

I was contacted by Circle of Moms and was told that I was nominated as one of the Top 25 Mom expat bloggers. Score!

Here's the thing, it's a popularity contest. Oh they get you every time with those. I used to shy away from these as a teen as I feared rejection. Ok, it was more like I got rejection when I ran so I avoided it! I was a lucky girl, I had great friend but I just didn't sell myself well. I blame awkward height, a clumsy demeanor, and weirdly ranging hormones. Yes, I was a special teen!

But not anymore baby! And I love my blog. There, I said it. I love blogging, I absolutely adore the readers I have, and I think your comments are normally funnier than what I wrote in the first place. That's exactly what I look for in virtual company.

So when you look at that little Circle of Moms button at the top of my page, it's a real and serious thing. It goes until June 6th and you can vote daily. DAILY! Every day with your coffee you can throw your good virtual friend Rachel a line.

What do I get is what most people ask. I was told that "The Top 25 will be featured on one of our most popular pages and exposed through our social media channels." Apparently they have about 6 million active members. That's not light stuff right there.

Basically, I just wanted to let you know why I'm harassing you. There is a reason. I'm not completely crazy... well, it can't be proven anyway.

The link is: Make Rachel a Top Expat Mom Blog! You can vote daily. Once a day with your morning coffee or evening wine or even after your nooner.

And Thank You All for throwing this girl a bone! If you'd like to throw some more I have my jazz hands up and am ready to catch!

Why I Blog

Picture by: http://streetanatomy.com/author/jenny/page/53/

I've danced around this question a couple of times. I always feel self-important talking about my blog. Oh yeah, I'm so cool that I need to write about my life and opinions so that the world can experience the glory of them.  It couldn't be further from the truth. It has nothing with ego, although it has helped pump mine up.

The reason I write is obvious, it's a great excuse to not exercise or do the dishes. Oh but I really need to post today!

Ok, not really.  The real reason I started to blog was to do something for myself. I live in Rio de Janeiro with my Brazilian husband and my kiddos. Moving here was for both practical and emotional reasons. Mr. Rant got a job, I had no healthcare, and we both really love Rio.  Honestly though, I wasn't in real love with Rio when I first moved here. It was puppy love. The real love only happened in time, once we got to know each others quirks and learned to accept them.

The fact of the matter was that my husband is happy in Rio de Janeiro. There is a spark missing when he's abroad, even during visits. The true Glory of Mr. Rant needs the Carioca spirit to fill him. Can you blame him?

Anyway, I had yet to have my thing here, even after all these years. Having the bambinos didn't help. While it's amazing and wonderful to have kids, it is a lot of giving.

So the blog is my thing. I do it for me. I talk about things that come up in my head that my 2 and 4 year olds do not want to discuss with me, much to my delight. If my boys had an opinion things like the statistic that 70% of Brazilian men cheat, I'd be quite alarmed.  I'll wait until they're at least 10 to bring that bad boy up.

The surprising part of blogging was all I gained. I'm not talking about wealth or fame because that is far from anything in my reality. I'm talking about these:

1. Friends. Blogger friends are amazing people who become quick friends after you read each other's thoughts and ideas. My Rio blogger friends have, more or less, become flesh and blood buddies who I've met on some occasions.  I've met people who can relate, understand, and actually care about what I have to say and vice versa. Priceless.

2. Inspiration. I have this forum to write and so I do. I had lost my will to write, something I used to do a lot of. Of course I'm not Shakespeare, but it's nice to do something I enjoy.

3. A New Perspective. I had stopped paying attention to the world around me. It was my every day, nothing special. That couldn't have been further from the truth.

4. My Voice back. Holy crap, I have something to say and it has nothing to do with Woody and Buzz or how to say Pickles in Portuguese. It's me saying things I normally say when I have a chance to talk to other grown ups. Awesome form of release.

5. A chance to share what I know. I know I rarely do this, it's more rants than facts, but I love answering people's question and, possibly, making a process that I had a bitch doing a bit easier for someone else. I've done the marrying a foreigner, moving, translating documents, marrying in Brazil, Green card applications, Brazilian visa extensions, Brazilian residency applications, Portuguese, and many more things I can't even think of. Hell, the accomplishment that made me the most excited was ordering food here for the first time by myself. And they understood and brought the right thing! So if there's something I could help you with, please let me know!

6. The fuzzy feeling that I get realizing that people actually like to read what I write. I get embarrassed by it because I find it so amazing that people want to!  I love it! And to get the emails/comments from you guys saying that I make you laugh just make my week. Not day, week!

7. The readers. I love you guys! I LOVE the comments you make on posts! I love it even more when my comment section turns into a debate. I swear, half the time the comment section is far more interesting than the freaking post! You guys rock. I have readers who really kick ass. That is a hell of a big compliment for me! By the way, I am not easily offended. Even if I get defensive in posts, I'm not offended. I have an open blog for people to share their opinions. Please do!

So I started writing my blog for me and now I also right for you guys. It's like a great blog sex with all the give and take going on here. Gold stars all around!

Now you tell me, why do you blog and/or read blogs? 

The City Dwellers

The other night, while having beers and watching the Ballerinos pass, a friend and I started discussing my blog. Oh yes, I have some fabulously supportive friends out there who not only read my rants but also listen to them face to face. Oh the insanity of it all. 

Anyway, this friend started reading one of my favorite blogs Sara in Le Petit Village after seeing it mentioned on mine.  She was commenting on how much she enjoys it and the descriptions of 'The Villagers'. They make the blog so personal and really give us a picture into her life.  My friend asked why I don't do the same.

Well, I will most certainly lose characters after I start naming them things like 'The Douche' or 'The Commenter.' I just don't have the charm.  But then I thought, what the hell!  I'm going to do a little blog post inspired by Sara!  

 The City Dwellers:

Mr. Rant

The believer of the unbelievable, Mr. Rant is the opposite side to my coin.  He is the only person who can tell me to shut the hell up in a way that doesn't piss me off. If that isn't made for each other, I don't know what is.

The Chatter Box

The oldest of my two spawn, The Chatter Box has a gift for gab. I have no idea where he gets it from. He's always ready to laugh, joke, tease, or tell you a story.  Known for spouting off random facts, The Chatter Box is the perfect and sweetest party attraction one could birth. 

The Clown

The youngest of my spawn, he's quiet but always has a funny face, walk, or dance to bust out at any given moment. He will only kiss or hug you on his terms, but when he does it's like gold.  Easy going and adaptable, The Clown is the perfect accessory. Just keep an eye on him, he darts! 

The In-Laws

Sweet and caring and always ready to help, the in-laws are a big part of my daily life. Of course I never know when they'll stop by or what they'll bring The Chatter Box and The Clown, but they are always down for a good time.  They enjoy speaking Portuguese, beers, coffee, and long walks on the beach.

The Family

The family is a large group of people normally found gathered in herds. They are a lively bunch and, thankfully, do not scare easily.  If offered food by them, eat it. They will be offended otherwise. 

The Mommy Crew

The Mommy Crew is a group of fellow expats. They can be found in a caravan of strollers or large motor vehicles.  They will hang out at any given park or random Rio de Janeiro child friendly-ish place, usually speaking a quick English with mumbles of Portuguese when appropriate.  Some of these women speak a strange English that seems to hail from a land they called "England."  I do not judge them for that. 

The Canadian

The Canadian is a friend of mine who usually meets up with me to encourage the consumption of one too many cold beverages.  She is the releaser of "The Mom" personality and helps the "Rachel" get some quality time out.

The Lifesaver 

The lifesaver is a fabulous woman that cleans The Rant Family home. She is full of Brazilian wisdom and helps this Ranter navigate through the domestic life in Rio de Janeiro.  She also makes a mean cake!

And in dedication to the friend who inspired the post:

The Botafoguense

The Botafoguense is a Finnish wife and a friend of mine. She puts me to shame with her enthusiasm for her and her husband's soccer team, which happens to be the same as Mr. Rants.  Perfectly fluent in Portuguese, Spanish, Finnish, and ok in English, The Botafoguense raises the bar on expats like myself.  Of course she is tremendously charming, fun, entertaining, and brilliant. She can also sing. I wouldn't so gracefully accept a bar raise from anyone else. 

Photo: Thanks to http://estilovintage.blogspot.com

401th Blog Post!

I rant A LOT! It's officially true.  My last post was my unbeknown 400th post!  So 400 posts in 10 months means I average 40 posts a month.

I sure do write a lot. Considering I can also talk a lot, I shouldn't be surprised. Actually, when people take photos of me in action, my mouth is usually open. I know you are all stunned.

To celebrate my 400th and 1 blog entry, I thought I'd share some of these beauties with you.

I need to close my mouth before I catch a fly! But it's ok, I think I pull it off.

Thank you to all you out there in the internet world for tolerating my virtual hot air!  Much love and I'll keep up the good work!

I have a Fan!

I have a fan, and no, it's not a family member.  I went to a party and I ran into a blog reader. Oh yes, someone actually came up to me and said that they know me from my blog.  Not to mention, she reads it daily!

It gets even better.

She's not crazy!  Not only do I have a fan that I have met in flesh and blood, she's actually very cool and funny.  Gold star Rachel!

While I have seen my statistics and know the numbers, it's not the same as actually meeting someone in real life.  No matter how many little ticks pass on the counter, it's hard to imagine that many people read my Rants.  I mean, I find them funny, then again I also like those little fart keychains.  There's no accounting for taste.

But now I have met Ms. Rebecca and I liked her! She's also my fan! It made me really realize that all those little ticks and numbers showing up on the screen are actually people.  Go figure.

So if you are my reader, I just want to thank you.  Meeting Rebecca made my day and all of you who come and visit do the same!

Thank you for rocking my world in a way that my husband is not allowed to get jealous over!

To my Readers: Happy Valentines Day! I hope we all get laid! 

Metric system and Paris: That's just wise

I was reading a fellow blogger's post about what they would tell their 16 yr old self. Forgive me, but I forget who it was. If you know tell me so I can shout out.

Anyway, I can't just talk to my 16 year old because the rebellion started much sooner in my case.  While I don't believe in regret, I do believe that hindsight is 20/20 so here we go.

I'd first go talk to little Miss 3rd grader Rachel.  She refused to memorize the metric system.  I asked my teacher: "Why do I have to learn about meters if I use feet and inches?"  My teacher responded "In case you live somewhere else."  I replied, and I remember the exact moment as I was biting myself in the ass "Why would I live anywhere else?!" Well there you go little Miss 3rd grader Rachel. You live in Brazil. How do you like the metric system now?

Next is Spanish in the 8th grade. I was like, "Whatever. I'm an 8th grader. I'll do what I have to to get by. Why are people trying so hard?!" I got a C. Took me forever to learn crappy Spanish in High School. I didn't have that base for Portuguese. Hello 8th Grade Rachel, any 2nd language would have been awesome. Grow up.

I land in University and have credit to burn. I took 3 dance classes.  I so should have dropped one for a language or a history class. Maybe I could have taken cooking or geography. I don't know but 3 dance classes was a bit excessive, even though I burned so many calories that I could drink like a fish and eat like a sailor.  Hey, it was college.

At one point in University, my roommate bought a ridiculously cheap round trip ticket to Paris with a mutual friend.  It was something like $400 but I didn't have the money. She told me to charge it. I thought that was irresponsible. You know what, I still don't have that money around and I missed a trip to Paris with 2 girlfriends. Should have gone. College Rachel, don't save and go on trips.

Early 20s, I freaked out when I came to Rio and had to stay with my husband's Portuguese only speaking family. I was insecure and used it for evil instead of good. I was afraid that my husband of 6 months would decide we didn't match because I didn't blend right in with everyone and speak their language. To compensate, I shut off, pulled away, and argued with my husband. Yeah, that does not make things easier.  In retrospect I was crazy. At the moment I was just confused, sad, lost, and overly sheltered.  Learning is a bitch sometimes. Best to come into it with an open mind and thicker skin.

I also could have started to blog sooner! I have met so many people in my position now that I have a blog. It also works to start reading blogs. Get out there on the internet.  There are people in your spot, feeling what you are feeling. You just have to find them.

That's pretty much all I have.  I think that for 30 years, it's pretty damn good.  I've obviously made other mistakes in my life but I feel they were necessary. How else does a person learn?

Now the ones above, those were just stupid.  How about you, what stupid choices does your retrospect focus on?

I've Been Cheating on All of You

I cheated on you, my Dear Readers.  You see, I posted on other sites.  No, not about Rio.  I wrote for a Mommy site and an Expat in France blog too.

I know what you are thinking.  How could I do that to you? To us?

It was nothing personal. One thing let to another... And when the opportunity arose to "score" a post, I went for it.

At least I'm being honest with you. That should count for something. Hell, I'll even let you check out the little things I did.

Nobody Told me I'd Look Forward to a Quickie

Brazilian Holiday

The second link, the Expat in France one, is a repost of an old post of mine. So not quite as bad. It's kind of like sloppy post seconds. I know it doesn't make it any better per se, but I did pick you first.

And I always will baby...

So check them out.  Once you do, you'll understand why I did it. They are cool, witty, and pretty just like you.  

Twitter Changes People

I didn't get Twitter before.  Really, didn't get it.  And now I'm addicted. Amazing the how one itouch app can just change your life.

It's like a connection to the world, in 140 keystrokes.  It kind of turns me on. No nitty gritty. No idle chit chat.  Straight and to the point, even sometimes in a grammatically incorrect manner.  Nothing like a fragment to turn a girl on.

But it is changing me.  Twitter has awoken the Mother blogger in me and it's taking everything I have to fight it.  

I will not post on diaper rash. I will not do it!  I swear I have a life outside children...

Oh wait a minute...

Then again, being a Mother brought me to Rio de Janeiro in the first place.  I got knocked up with my husband's baby.  No, there was never any question.

Anyway, I didn't have health care and I couldn't afford the astronomical amount they wanted me to pay for care.  It was such a shame that I was married and American at the time because, if I wasn't, I would have gotten a pretty damn good discount. Those single, illegal Moms get all the breaks.

But I love that story because I get to say that I, an American, had to run across Brazilian borders to give birth to my child in a Brazilian Public Hospital. Hello coolness, I rock your 3rd world country, Public Hospital World!

And I get half my posts from experiences out and about with my boys.  If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have gotten completely harassed for my circumcision post.  Not to mention, my breastfeeding post.  People have a tendency of getting creeped out when childless people breastfeed other people's children.  Not that I know or anything.

So what to do with all this?  I'm thinking I need to find some more randoms to follow on Twitter. Something to break up the game, shake up my life, and fill my head with nonsense.  I could also watch Fox News for that, but this girl has standards.

Where does that get you, you ask?  Well, you just read a post about basically nothing on a blog that is supposed to be about an expat in Rio who is, in fact, in Maryland visiting family.  I'd have to say you got a whole lot of zilch.  But at least it was mildly entertaining.

Just a trip down Rachel's Ranting's Thought Process Lane.

So you tell me, what influences your blog?