Let me tell you how I feel... if I can

 Today is a day I wish I were truly fluent.  The real fluent, like I fell out of my Mom's va ja ja speaking this language too. 

I wish I spoke that way because I had to speak to teachers and am going to have to speak to the school psychologist about this damn adaptation nightmare I'm living at the moment.  It's hard to not come off as overly sensitive or not sensitive at all.

For starters, we English speakers are more blunt by nature than Brazilians. We can say things in Portuguese that are equivalent to shooting a loaded gun.  When we overcompensate, we sound whiny. 

Now add to that being stressed and tired. It's not a great combo for getting your controversial point across.  And, in Brazil, saying your kids can tough it out is totally controversial. 

If only I could express that it's not that I don't feel my kids angst. It's the opposite actually. I feel their way is tormenting my little one more than it should.  Blame it on Mom. I'm all snuggles and kisses until it means business, and then I mean business. This fluffy manner to business is not something my kids get.  This, let me explain to your 18 month old how he is feeling, is not my way. He's a toddler for goodness sake. You spell it out for them in a caring manner and you are firm when you need to be firm. 

But what can you do?  Maybe...

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Ok, so I started this post then went to pick up my oldest. I tried to talk to the psychologist but she wouldn't talk to me about it in front of my 18 month old because he knows what we are talking about. 

I asked her if she was serious. She was. There's really no point in talking to her now.  She's crazy!  She told me he can feel my conflicting feelings.  I responded by saying that he must really feel like crap after today because I was full of conflicting feelings.  Obviously I went the non-whiny more bitchy way.

The rest went kind of like this:
Her: "Can you come meet me alone to talk?"
Me: "Not really.  When my kids are not here, they are with me."
Her: "Not even for a half hour"
Me: "Nope. That'd be the reason why my 18 month old is starting school"

Hello! 

We're going to talk when I'm there tomorrow. She'll visit and sit with me in the classroom.  In her and the school's defense, I managed to skip out on the adaptation meetings with both kids. I'm really not that into meetings. Slacker you ask.  Yes. 100% slacker when it comes to everything that isn't taking direct care of my kids, and sometimes even then. Case in point, nuggets for dinner tonight.