Friday, September 24, 2010

1950s fit me just fine

I believe in Mothers and wives.  Not just the normal oh you gave birth to a tiny person or you married someone. No, I believe in THE mother and wife that takes care of the family.

I know, I´m so 1950s poodle skirt.  I can´t help it.  I want to be the martyr self scarifying mother! I´m just crazy like that. 

Maybe it´s because I will never forget my mother taking me to the bus stop and being there when I got off.  And that, in and of itself, is what I feel a mother should be.  There, always, whether you want her or not.

Of course I´m talking small children. I will not be spooning my 17 year old while he sleeps, that´d just be creepy.

But I ask you this, why is it not ok to be a stay at home Mom?  Why do we get the questions "what about yourself?" "When are you going back to work?"  "What about your career?"

Pardon my language but Fuck, yes with a capital F, my career.  Is working really for me? Am I getting some deep spiritual gratification writing up proposals or sitting in meetings?  Really people. No.

Then again, my work is not who I am. I´m not being defensive or poking at anything here.  But seriously, I´ve never taken work that serious. I did my best, 110%, gold star, employee of the month work but it wasn´t who I was.  I just never felt that kind of connection to a line of work. Then again, I wasn´t saving the world, in any sense.

So I don´t get why letting your husband earn the living is an issue.  Because, let´s be honest, it´s an issue out there.  I mean, my husband isn´t going to work worrying about what I´m teaching his kids.  I could be telling them his Mother is Satin for all he knows.

I´m not by the way, I swear.

That´s the thing. I have two little future in my hands.  I´m the man behind the curtain in the lives of these two little guys.  So I ask you, who´s job is more important. Mr. Rant will be the first to say mine.  My kids are happy, well adjusted (if you consider calling everything poop well adjusted as I do) young boys.  And I take full credit.  Ok, not really, I have that all star husband who comes home and helps with the kids. Only the kids. Just saying.

Anyway, I want to pick them up from school. I want to bake cookies with them afterward. I want to call and bitch to my childless friends about how nice it´d be to have just one free 24 hour period, although secretly I´d be thinking about them the entire time.

I am used and abused and am on call more than any ER doctor.  24/7 baby.  And I love it.  It is about the quality of life just as Jim says. 

All that being said, I know a number of Moms who need to work, and they Rock! You can do it all, seriously. You may be more beaten down than JLo´s panties but it can be done. And I love them for it! 

Thankfully, I don´t have to choose between life and home just yet. We can live a little leaner and stay a little Mommy happier.  I think that fits just fine right about now.


  1. You are doing the wonderful and endless job of being the Mom and wife, pat yourself on the back please! Nothing can replace having a parent there 24/7, I think it helps kids feel more secure, calm, loved, etc. when they know Mom (or Dad) is always there, always dependable, always looking out for them and keeping them in line as well. They need us and no baba or school can replace a loving and involved parent! If you are able to survive financially and you want to emotionally, then everyone wins. Someday soon they'll be teenagers and they won't want us around, and I think that's the time to reconnect with our careers or other pursuits. Time passes so quickly, that day will arrive sooner than we'd wish.

  2. So I guess this means you are taking a pass on that busy Executive Secretary gig.

    Good call.

  3. Yeah, I decided life before money :)

  4. Amen! I couldn't begin to tell you the discrimination and hell I received from my sisters and others when I decided to quit my full time job and be a full time mom.
    I constantly heard "you don't work" from them even though I had two children two years apart they thought all I did was sit my ass on the couch and watch Oprah and eat Bon Bons all day.

    My children have never set foot in a daycare and have never rode a school bus and I'm proud to say that I have been through it all with them.

    At 9 and 12 now, I am so thankful for those years I got to be the one to see all of the "firsts" happen.

    We need more full time HAPPY moms in this world!

  5. That's great Rachel, you are a rockstar!

    I realized this spending time w/my 7y/o. I asked myself why I was working so much as a nurse ( 1 full time job, and a part-time job). For what? To have that "extra" stuff that I wanted. We decided it's about our "quality of life", NOT how many 'extras' we can have.