The season of swamp ass and swenis has returned to Rio de Janeiro. I always joke about how people run around half naked and I know all you non-Rio de Janeiro residents fantasize about it. Sadly the day has come where I have to break down the ugly truth of it all.
It is necessary for survival. It gets really freaking hot and humid down here. I'm already hearing some of you who live in the Southern States of the US claiming that you know how it is. Yeah, I have to disagree with you. Just like charm, Brazil has one upped you in heat.
Seriously, my least favorite part is the sweat that drips down the back of your legs. It's a dampness like you are wetting yourself and it just doesn't stop. There really isn't much you can do about it either. While you can spend a fair amount of time in the ocean, under a shower, or in a pool drinking beer, you eventually have to go somewhere to eat or urinate.
Then there's the smell. I am especially thankful for Brazilian's extensive culinary use of garlic and onion during the summer. It just smells so yummy coming out of the pores of all the sweaty people smashed up against you on the subway. Yum, just makes me want to find the nearest Churrascaria.
Though I do have a secret for a successfully survived summer in Rio de Janeiro. Want to know?
1. Get to the beach early! That means parking at 8am, no later. Better yet if you can get there at 730am. First off it's already hot and sunny at that time but at a level that is still enjoyable. Secondly you still have options as to where you can sit on the beach. Come 10am it's slim pickings. After 1230pm it's like a freaking Carnaval Bloco (street party).
2. Ideally either go out to eat or have something prepared from earlier for lunch. It's a bitch to cook after being sapped of all your energy at the beach. Plus a hot stove top at noon sucks.
3. Siesta until 4am. In air conditioning if possible, at the very least good ceiling fans.
4. Beer. It just quenches that thirst you get while sitting in the shade on a hot day surrounded by sweaty bodies. It fits like glaze on a doughnut.
5. Showers and a change of clothes. We do it often down here. Trust me, it's the way to go at least 3 times a day my friend.
Now I'm going to go and hose myself off, turn on the fan and take a 30 minute cat nap. You?