My Husband is Starving

Once upon a time, this little wife did not make a full on Brazilian lunch. I know, shame shame on me. Don't worry, I already put myself in time out.

You see, I had my pregnant self and a toddler who loved PB&Js.  I didn't think anyone would find out so I allowed him to have one for lunch.  I think Brazilian Social Services would come and take them away if they ever found out. Heaven forbid it wasn't served with a side of rice and beans.

To my horror, Mr Rant came home for lunch.  It was totally unannounced. Thankfully though, he took the sandwich in stride.  But I didn't get off that easily.

What caught him off-guard was my lack of prepared food in the fridge. There was nothing ready for him to eat! What do you mean you can't spontaneously pull together a 3 piece lunch?!

And before you say he's spoiled, let me correct you. He is not only spoiled, he's Brazilian.  I swear, he would keel over and die out of shock if he ever showed up at his Mother's and she couldn't just fix him a plate. Hell, the day his Mother can't randomly pull a carne asada out of the fridge, have rice already made (just in case), and beans a bubblin' on the stove is the day I will have a heart attack.

It's just the culture. Any good Mother would have something available in case any child should even think about food.  Even if it's not her making it, she's paid someone to make sure it's there.  And lunch is the holiest of occasions for food consumption.

The fact that there was nothing to heat up was just unheard of.  Personally, I was stoked that I could finally bust out the PB&J and fend for myself later.  But it just comes down to habit.

In Brazil, when you eat lunch you EAT LUNCH. This is your big meal. Pack it in baby.  Some offer a dinner in the evening, especially when there are kids. A lot of people just lanche, aka sandwiches.  Lanche is a wonderful thing where people run to the bakery for fresh french bread. Add in cold cuts, a salad, some other finger foods, and you have yourself a lanche. We must not forget the coffee chaser.

So that was an adjustment for me. I love me a big breakfast and a substantial dinner. I'm all over that. The big lunch needed some growing into. Ironically, when it did, my breakfast and dinner shrank.

In addition, I've never again allowed a fully empty fridge.  I now have 3 Brazilian men, 1 big and 2 halfies. They all expect food in the afternoon. Something filling and warm.  What can I do? I've been out voted. Of course that does mean I can transfer my occasional laziness to the evening. And let's be honest, evenings are the best time to be lazy!

Lazy and then bed go together as well as good old PB&J. 

The Recycled Blog post

I'm heading out to visit some of my Husband's family in New York. I will be AWOL until the New Year.  I just wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year!  In reflection of a favorite and since I am a lover of recycling. Here's an old favorite of mine:

The Brazilian Family Lunch

I was chatting on the phone with my Mother yesterday morning.  As I normally do, I was simultaneously talking to my husband. He was asking about this or that and after the lunch. I replied, no no, after lunch we have to come home so I can make the boys dinner and give them their bath.

My Mother was perplexed.  Why would you have to make the kids their dinner after a lunch?  And bath time?  What time is this lunch??

Seems crazy, I know.  But if you've been to a family lunch in Rio de Janeiro, you get it.

A family lunch starts at a reasonable time, around 12:30 or 1pm.   Here's the kicker. It only ends around 4 or 430pm,  and that is if you bow out early.  A true family lunch means that, if your kids follow an American/Canadian eating and sleeping routine, you'll be leaving after they've also eaten dinner and in time for bath. 

What is a Brazilian family lunch you ask?  That's a lunch that is on a Saturday or Sunday at least once a month, usually at a Grandmother's place.  There will be a huge feast starting about 1 hr after at least 80 % of the family is there.  Then there is dessert.  Following that is coffee. There must be at least a half hour of prep time in between each course and this prep will only start once everyone is finished with the proceeding course.

I know what you are thinking.  You'll come for lunch and head out before dessert.  I don't think so.

Should you leave before all courses, you are opening yourself up to be discussed by the rest of the family. Oh the disrespect! That is, of course, unless you have a good excuse. There are 3 good excuses. 1. Another family lunch that you ditched for this one but are trying to make it for coffee. You get bonus points for this excuse since you picked them for the actual meal.  2. A child's school school event or birthday party.  Don't worry, it doesn't have to be your child. Any child will do. 3. Death. Yours or someone else. Hidden option number 4. You just don't show up to begin with and don't answer your phone. Be prepared to suck up later and for possible telephone harassment before the next family lunch. 

One warning, Brazilian family lunches are not for the claustrophobic.  It's madness contained in a 12 x 8 ft dining room with 42,000 members of the family and 100,000 lbs of food. I may have exaggerated slightly.  In my defense, I'm a foreigner and that's what it feels like to me.

And finally, I love it!  I love family lunches.  Every relative from the 3rd degree cousin to the maid's sister's son is there.  You mix and mingle like musical chairs.  People just get up and move and sit down somewhere else.  If I didn't know better, I'd think the apartment was a snowglobe and we were shaken up about every 15 minutes.

Plus the kids can run around and be just that, kids.  Each person takes their turn with the little ones. They also try to feed them. My kids consume about 15,000 calories each family lunch.  It is madness personified and I highly recommend it.

It's not a rare thing to find.  Just try to get a parking spot in Flamengo/Laranjeiras on a Saturday around noon. It's not going to happen. The entire population of Rio de Janeiro are visiting the Grandmas and about half of them live in Flamengo/Laranjeiras.  There are some stragglers in Copacabana and some rich grannies over by the beaches of Ipanema, Leblon, and Barra. But Flamengo and Laranjeiras, those places are Granny central!

You will leave the family lunch happy and drained. You might as well have gone to a bar until the wee hours of the night.  You will feel the same way. You could potentially be slightly drunk from the beer and you will be highly over stimulated.  It's an amazing event which will leave you and your spouse with hours of conversation.

Cooking in Rio de Janeiro

I was not prepared for the amount of cooking expected of me in this city.  Pre-kids and husband, I used to survive off of Tonino's pizza rolls and Top Ramon.

5 years later, I couldn't be any further from where I started.  First off, I'm feeding a family.  It's pretty frowned upon to feed your kids instant foods, at least all time.  So I've discovered the wonderful world of cooking in Rio de Janeiro.

Cooking in Rio de Janeiro requires a couple of things. 1. stop looking for canned items. You will basically find tuna, corn, peas, and mixed corn and peas. Slight exaggeration. You can now find some other items including canned baby peas.

Secondly, I introduce the pressure cooker. It's used for practically everything down here!  The oven is used so infrequently that my mother-in-law lived for years without a functioning one. The only part that worked was the stove top, and that's all she used anyway.  Pressure cookers are principally used for cooking all different types of dried beans (the state you'll find most uncooked beans in Brazil), meats like carne asada, and anything else that can be thrown in and pressured the crap out of.

Thirdly, be prepared to make the big meal for lunch. The American dinner is the equivalent of the Brazilian lunch. A family friend once saw me give my son a PB&J for lunch.  I think she had a small heart attack. It's just not done here. Sandwiches are not acceptable lunch foods.

Keep in mind though, American lunches are equivalent to Brazilian dinners. Pre-babies, when we lived for a time with my in-laws, dinner was a kind of free for all. The table would be set up with fresh bread, deli meats, salad, fruits, some other extras.  Anyone who wanted to have leftovers from lunch could and, occasionally, we'd eat pasta.

My boys now have a wonderful combo of the American and Brazilian ways of life.  They essentially have 2 dinners, or a Brazilian lunch and an American dinner. I've gotten into the habit of the Brazilian lunch and I can't put them to bed without knowing they've eaten a good dinner.  That, of course, means Mom is cooking 2 full meals twice a day.  You can only imagine the prep time since most things are from scratch and the clean up without a dish washer.

The solution, a maid. I have a wonderful maid who comes on Mondays and Thursdays. She makes lunch both those days and makes beans for the days she won't be here. Black beans are a Carioca diet staple.  After a little while here, you'll wonder what you ate when you weren't eating beans and rice.  Her bean prepping saves me one complicated cooking step.

Yes, Brazilian black beans are complicated to cook. It's a gentle balance of simple ingredients that can make heaven or hell depending on how well you do. 

Of course, all of this falls to the wayside when Mom is too tired and/or has not done the shopping.  PB&Js are served and I just don't tell anyone.