Rio de Janeiro: A City Full of Advice

This is a city where people care. They care in a way that makes you sometimes want to run away screaming.  But you learn a lot with all this unwanted, but adored, advise.

Today I was scolded because my long legged toddler's feet were somewhere near the ground while sitting in his stroller. Shocker.  I was told I should do something about that because he was going to hurt himself. Being tired and cranky I just mumbled, rather loudly, in English and went about my way. His feet were a decent distance from the ground and no where near the tires! What was I supposed to do, cut them off?

What did I learn from this? I learned it's best to smile and speak in English when people are being overly anal.

That got me thinking about some other life lessons I've been taught by nosy-ish people on the street.

When my oldest was a baby, I would take him out for morning and evening walks to avoid the summer heat. I was constantly harassed for two things: 1. taking my son out in the heat and 2. not putting socks on him.  It made me wonder: if it's too hot to take him out, does he really need socks?

I learned that you can apparently get frostbite on your toes at the same time as heatstroke.  Only in Rio de Janeiro.

This last experience was rather charming. I was walking with my two boys to the pool one morning and a man selling globo in the middle of the street yelled to me. I turned a little warily. In my experience, these guys aren't usually complimenting my shoes, if you know what I mean.  But he surprised me by calling over "Miss, it's very hot today! Make sure you give your boys A LOT of water. They need a lot of water on a day like this!"

I learned that water is good and that most advice is actually coming out of concern. It was very sweet of him to make the effort.

I could go on and on but I think I'd start to sound cynical and I'm make some of my dear Brazilians sound a little crazy.  What experiences of unasked advice have you had? Which ones have stuck with you?

Creepy Carioca Men

 A little message to creepy Carioca men, you are not as smooth as you think you are.

As much as anyone would imagine saying a creepy sounding 'Oi' and then licking your lips would attract the opposite sex, it doesn't.  Shockingly, it does not help if you translate Oi, you intellectual man you, into Hi.

Logically, because you seem oh so logical, if you say "You are so beautiful," I'm just going to jump into your arms while simultaneously ripping off my clothing. Oh yes, everything you've heard about us American women is true.

And the biggest winner would have to the sounds. Whistles, grunts, mmmm hmmmms, and all other non-verbal conversation sends me over the roof. As if Rio de Janeiro wasn't hot enough already.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome that you leave your house feeling like a non-Metro Rodrigo Santoro.  Confidence is something everyone should have.  I just suggest you stop for a second and look around your house.  Any Gringa women putting their clothes back on there? Laying naked in your bed?  Have you received any phone calls in English or broken Portuguese lately?

My guess is going to be no for all of the above. So maybe, just maybe, your methods are not quite hitting their target.  Don't worry, we all know you have mad skills, you really don't need to prove it to anyone. Just saying we ladies are weird and don't get obvious moves.

Personally, I love it when a man plays hard to get.  Just turns me on.  Maybe you should try ignoring us!  Maybe we don't even exist.  Try it out for a while and see how it fits.  Hell, couldn't get any worse...

But it could get a whole lot better for us!

If you were only allowed to give your children one piece of advice, what would that be?

I´ve stumbled upon a thing called an Idea Bank.  It´s post ideas for bloggers.

For those of you out there that read but don´t blog, it´s sometimes hard to find posts. Well, not hard to find posts but hard to find ones that people actually want to read.  So I found this and have decided that I´m going to do one, right now!


This one struck a core:

If you were only allowed to give your children one piece of advice, what would that be?

I would tell him to be himself even if it hurt. That himself will change over time but said change is one of the few consistent things we have in our lives.  If he should change himself to fit in with those he considers worthy, he will only hurt more in the long run. It´s amazing how quickly you can die on the inside while thriving on the outside.  And that when the end comes, the real end, it is he, and only he, that will have to face the life that he lead. He will have to live with the guilt, hurt, or indifference he has caused.  He will have to face the things he did not want to face beforehand.  It is best to keep your head up from the beginning because it´s much harder to lift that chin after it´s already been pulled down.

I could continue but I feel I´ve already branched out when the questions says one piece of advice.

What would you tell your child/children?