Who are you calling white?

When I get pissed my Portuguese greatly improves. It's like a survival mechanism. I'm truly amazed by it. If you ever heard me arguing with someone, you'd think I was fluent.

I was proud of myself today as I bickered with our pediatrician over the blood test. He told me it was fine and obviously didn't want to get into the details. I wanted explanations for each variation.

Not only did I win, I asked questions and I questioned his answers. Bonus, I didn't make any blatantly obvious Portuguese mistakes!

Anyway, we settled things and I was on my way out until I remembered one last question. My son has seemed more pale than normal these past couples of weeks. I mean, he's white as hell but he's gotten a wee bit chalky if you will.

So I asked "Is it possible that his being so pale is because of the mild anemia?"

His response: "He's not pale, he's just very white like you are." *Smile*

Yeah, like your charming smile is going to make up for that little comment! But of course, I was thrown off my angry game and got embarrassed.

The lamest comeback ever:  "I'm not that white!"

And I was literally laughed out of his little office.

*PS. My little trouble maker is fine! Virus, mild anemia, and a culture for the blood in urine which he said is nothing to worry about.

You Think Cancer but You are Just Constipated

Today will be a long day for me. This is not because I have to do anything special. It's because I'm staring at my son's blood test results and they are not right.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Brazilian method of patients bringing blood test results to the doctors. The results stare you in the face for days before someone translates them. You think you have cancer and it turns out you are just constipated.

Do they really need to do that to you?!

So my youngest's blood test is a bit off. A very sweet friend of mine on Twitter took a general look at them and said its probably anemia and a cold/infection. I figured that too. It is rational and most likely the reason.

Then comes in Google. Freaking google and it's extensive searching mechanisms. Now my irrational brain is convinced that he has acute lymphoblastic leukemia. No his platelet count is not low, but I also found out that  they can be in the normal range in 17.8% of the cases.

Damn kick ass researching skills!  I think they should add disclaimers when handing over results with some variation from the norm. Something like: "No one is dying. Nothing here is really that serious. And no you do not need to call your doctor at 7am. Office hours will be fine!"

I forgot to mention the blood in his urine. What 2 year old boy has blood in his urine?!

And while my double personality disorder continues to develop as my mind jumps from rational to crazy hypochondriac, my 2 yr old is playing like normal.

I'm positive that I'm going to bring the results in to the doctor this afternoon, slightly freaking out over what he may say, only to get a prescription for iron and vitamin C.

Then I'll feel like an ass. That goes double because I'm sharing my craziness with all of you.

Then again, assness is the far lesser evil!