Life Isn't Always Easy in Paradise

My life as an expat was the topic of conversation with numerous people today. While I realize I have a positive spin to the blog, I want to clarify something.

Being an expat is hard. While I may seem on top of it now, it would have been a very different blog if I had started writing my first few years.

I had many many days where I hated everything Brazilian. I could not imagine living here. I could never imagine actually having conversation in a language other than my own. I didn't know if it would ever be possible for me to understand the crazy way Brazilians think (and by crazy I mean different, or that is how I finally understand it to be.)

And most people will say things along the line of: You live in such a great place! It's so exotic! How could you complain?

Let me break it down for you. Have you tried to do the day to day annoying bullshit in a second language, not to mention in a bureaucratic maze that even Houdini would have a hard time getting himself out of?

I will never forget telling a friend I was jealous of her living in Spain. How amazing it must be to wake up there every day. She looked at me and said "You know, once you settle, regardless of where, it turns into daily life." Such true words that my little 20 yr old soul couldn't grasp.

The thing is that it is not easy to find your place anywhere. The complexities can seem insurmountable when you can't figure out which freaking sign means starting point.

As for me, I was the biggest and most horrible of the whiny baby expats in the world when I first got here. I can even prove it. At the end of my 3 week intensive Portuguese course at PUC the teacher broke us into groups and asked us to make skits about our fellow classmates. I was in one of the skits... whining and complaining. It was one of the most embarrassing and honest moments of my life. I sat there with the "Oh Shit that is SO me" look on my face. I was that girl.

I couldn't dig a hole and die there because, let's be honest, the cat was out of the bag. Time to either go home or make a change.

I'm happy I got it thrown in my face because I was being a big old baby. It forced me to take a painful look in the mirror. Time to suck it up. I had a choice, either I was going to let Rio de Janeiro bitch slap me around or I was going to stand up to the bully. Funny thing was that when I went to stand up I realized that I was the one I had to stand up to. Perspective is a bitch like that.

It was hard at first but I grew up with Rio de Janeiro. Now we are brothers from another Mother.

In the end it is your life and your choice. You don't ever have to be anywhere you don't want to be, and that doesn't necessarily mean moving. You can change where you are just by adjusting your head.

And now that I have fully made all of you throw up in your mouth a little bit with my corniness, I leave you with this note: Life can still be a bitch even when it's surrounded by caipirinhas and palm trees. I just decided one day to focus on the palms instead of the bitch while drinking the caipirinha. 

Living in Rio de Janeiro Forever?

I am usually asked about if we are staying or going. Are we going to be in Rio de Janeiro forever? Forever is a long time so it is a difficult one to answer.

Logistically, we will be here forever. Mr. Rant's job is here. We own a home. Our children have been born and raised here so far. And as much as I love Target, the idea of picking up the entire family to indulge my consumerist tendencies seems slightly selfish (even if I'll be mainly buying for them).

Then there's the other side of the story. Rio de Janeiro is an amazing place to raise small children! First off, they are widely accepted anywhere. Seriously, Cariocas love small children more than small dogs in Louis Vuitton bags. It's a special place like that.

Don't even get me into how life in Brazil is heaven for children. Even ignoring the natural beauties such as the beach and waterfalls, you also have the extravagant birthday parties and commonly late bedtimes. Kids are the dictators and people pretty much like it like that.

The only thing that worries me about living here is the general lack of stability, although the economy has been going strong for 10 years now. Brazilians my age have memories of inflation dramas, change of currency, minor epidemics, and general nervousness of parents surrounding government stability. As an American born in the fabulous year of 1980, I'm used to a government who averages a life of butterflies and rainbows. Of course that is not counting natural disasters, wars, and the current state of the economy.

None the less, I have realized in my young age that stability is in the mind of the beholder. Living within one's means makes all the difference in a world of flux. Just to clarify, I'm not saying that I do that. Of course I so immaturely blame Continental and their extremely high priced tickets from Rio de Janeiro to the US. That and my 8 suitcases full of crap that I just HAVE to bring back. Consumerism is a drug more addictive than crack and I am not even close to accepting that I have a problem, so don't even go there.

But back to the main topic, we live here. Taking away the little issues, like being thousands of miles from friends and family, we have a good life. We are happy. My children are well adjusted, bilingual, and love every aspect of the culture of their Motherland.

And when I live in a place that makes the 3 most important men in my life happier than anywhere else, how can I not want to live here forever? 

I'm Doing it Again! *sigh*

I'm doing it again. I'm allowing myself to befriend other foreigners. Not an issue, right? Well yes, it is an issue.

You see, 85% of the time these foreigners leave. They stay for 6 months, 1 year, maybe 3 and then they bail.

Initially it was great just to meet some people who spoke my language. Later, I was the one left behind.  So I decided to go Brazilian all the way! Brazilian friends and that is it!

Of course we foreigners are attracted to each other like white on rice and I managed to find some who actually live here. Finding other foreigners who didn't have a Brazilian expiration date was awesome to say the least. Of course, times are changing and the temporary expats are moving in like locus. Push came to shove and I ended up entering into an expat group. I blame the blog. The blog was the key to the world of Alice (expats) in Wonderland (moving to Brazil). I got emails, made contacts, and ended up in an expat Facebook group.

The thing is, I like these expats! The ones I have met are pretty damn awesome. Many of them move around all the freaking time. They are like nomads with a company credit card. I dig their worldly experience and open minds. I even dig the newbies, their questions, and their willingness to head out on a foreign adventure.

But they will leave. Their storm will soon form and take them away. I, however, will stay here and watch the sand settle. It sucks.

Of course, I've never been one to learn a lesson the first time around, just ask my Mother. I suppose I'd rather meet and miss cool people than not meet them at all.

So off I go back into the land of the traveling foreigner. Although I think I shall put a map up this time around. While the person may not be here, I could still have a little pin representing them and whatever city they originated in. That, my friends, would be quite interesting to see.