The Bacon Theory

I've had the bacon conversation with a couple of different people over the last couple of months. What's the bacon conversation?  Actually, it's more of a bacon theory. 

The theory goes as such: If a person in a family is bringing home the mouth feeding portion of the money each month (the bacon) you can not give them crap about working.  No, not "working" but that annoying stuff like answering business calls at 10pm when you are trying to get them to go "downtown." 

This theory is interesting and I find that Brazilians do not give their partners much crap at all about working a lot. Contrary to popular belief abroad, Brazilians put work horses to shame! Working until 830 or 9pm really isn't that big of a deal here, and I have a theory as to why. Shocker, huh.

There are numerous factors in this. First off, it's really not uncommon at all to have 2 income families down here. You are totally not going to bitch at your husband for answering that call if you were on the phone in the first place. 

There's also the Nanny/Maid situation. People have them. They are a buffer between overworking spouses and stay at home moms/dads.  Hell, they are the stand-in parent for the 2 income households.  And in the case of the Nanny/Maid, they can't complain to the bacon bringer. Hell, they are paid to wait around and cook the bacon that's brought.  

And that fact that there is someone in the middle, who's job is to pick up the slack, makes a huge difference.  The biggest complain of this stay at home Mom is the lack of buffering. I can get pretty chafed sometimes and it's not pretty! 

Of course, that's only with my minis as I do have a maid twice a week to help me around the house.  It's a good thing for Mr. Rant. He sure as hell would get a lot more crap for his socks being littered around the entire apartment.  He denies it but it's either him or we have a serious sock-mold situation growing in this place. 

The point being, it can be hard to be a supportive partner for a busy spouse. It can be upsetting to see the kiddos little faces pressed on the window as they look for Daddy on the street because they know he's going to be home before bedtime.  

And when they complain, I open sacks of bacon and throw pieces at the ungrateful little bastards. Actually no, that would be cruel. Good bacon is far too expensive in Brazil to be wasting it like that. 

But we have had the talk that everything costs money and the reason Daddy works so hard is to help pay for things like food, soccer practice, and cable tv. Priorities. And they get it. The chatter box even offered to not have snacks for a week if Daddy could come home early. 

Then when I put them to bed after a day that had, I swear, 321 hours in it, I go out to the living room. I sit down and I have the same conversation with myself using wine, internet connection, and staying home with my babies as my examples. 

Freaking Bacon, always expanding our minds. 

How to Make Money after Christmas in the States

Visiting home is not cheap.  Add to that buyers remorse... Ok, I'm lying. I have no remorse over my purchases but I do wonder how we are going to pay for them.

While credit card companies are so kind, allegedly, I have to pay them back.  So I'm trying to come up with a plan of attack. Here's what I came up with.

What you can do to make money, in Brazil, after blowing all yours in the US:

1.  Sell your kid's new toys.  That $20 toy they got at the after Christmas sale could go for a sweet R$300.  Just tell the kids you lost your luggage.
2.  Blackmail your family with awkward videos/pictures you took during the holidays. Tell them for a small fee, the video or pictures will not be posted online.  Con to this plan, they definitely have equally degrading videos/photos of you.  Think first.
3.  Bring back a suitcase full of Victoria's Secret lotion and sell them in the plaza.  You'll earn money and remember your Portuguese with all the transactions and arguments with the other vendors over you using their corner.
4.  Sell your body.  The extra holiday weight makes the less curvy American style body a bit more bootylicious and the SUPER white skin makes you exotic. Ok, maybe not true but it's a theory.
5.  Rent your new adult toys out to your friends. Not the kinky ones, that wouldn't sanitary.
6.  Get a second job to pay crap off.  Then again, you live in Brazil. If you worked two jobs, when would you go to the beach? Drink chopp? BBQ? Priorities people.
7. Go on a game show!

Well, that's all I got.  Can you guys think of any better ideas?

Let´s fight healthcare costs one dollar at a time

Once again,  I feel compelled to rave about the private medical system here in Rio de Janeiro. 

As I´ve mentioned before, my husband had one of his lungs spontaneously collapse on him and he spent a decent amount of time in the hospital (including the ICU).  We didn´t pay a dime!

A friend of mine from high school was in a car accident recently. Thankfully he´s a smart young man and got himself some health insurance.  Regardless, it only covers 70%.  70 % you say, not too bad, right?  Well, these kinds of things add up, especially with the price of medical care stateside. He already owes more than $15,000.  Let´s add to the occasion that the poor guy is self employed.  So, as luck would have it, he´s not only racking up bills, but also not getting paid. 

Poor guy is taking it both ways and I don´t think that´s what he ordered.

The point of this post is that some closer friends of his are reaching out and starting to raise funds for him.  Check out his site  Is Steve Still Alive?


I know the economy is tight -I think someone is pinching quarters out of my purse while I´m sleeping- but every little bit helps.  So if you got a extra couple of bucks, or find my missing quarters, let´s donate them to keeping Steve financial future out of the hands of the Man!

Saving money day to day in Rio de Janeiro

One of my biggest issues here is how to save money.  Let's keep things in perspective in that we don't do anything!  Our big splurges are basic household needs or taking our pre-schooler to the movies.

That's one area I just can't seem to get a hold of. How do I save money day to day here? I live here, I'm not traveling, and I have kids so eating cheap pasta every day is out.  

And our biggest cost is groceries.  I know fresh fruit and veggies are cheap but we still end up breaking the bank at the stinking grocery store. I've even converted to powdered milk as I save pennies each liter. It's just sad.

I considered myself a master of mão fechado (closed hand aka. cheap in Portuguese) in the states. I could make a dollar go so far and still enjoy myself.  Why can't I do that in Rio? 

My splurges for groceries include wine, the cheap R$16 wine. But I found a bottle that didn't make me vomit for R$7 on sale today. Got to love Argentina.  Deli meat and cheese.  This goes back to being sandwich people.  I really can't think of anything else. I can't.  Rice, beans, milk, meat, chicken, fish, and coffee.  We're pretty basic people. The snacks we do have are not the bank breaking types. 

But at the end of the month, for a family of four, we can not stay under R$1000.  It's killing me!  I don't even get to eat Filet Mignon weekly!  I mean, seriously, is there any other meat?

Ok, I did have Pate the other day.  We always buy decent olive oil when we need it.  Nescal (what we use to make chocolate milk in Rio de Janeiro) is always on tap here.  I guess there's a bit of fat I could trim but then we'd just be sad.

I'm officially offering my husband up to a rich, lonely, and single gal who wants man companion.  Once or twice a week at night will work.  I can vouch for his skills.  All I ask is that you pay of our mortgage at Caixa, or Satan as I like to call them. 

Not to worry, we're not destitute or even suffering for that manner. I just really get annoyed that I can't be all financially savvy here.  I don't know if it's truly impossible or I'm just Brazilian savvy retarded.  I think it could be a little bit of both.