10 Ways to Move Without it Ending in Divorce

As everyone in the world knows, I'm in the middle of a move. Let me share some of the pearls of wisdom that this move has bestowed upon me.

1. Allow for coping techniques. We are all different and need to cope in different ways. If that means that Mr. Rant needs to aimlessly roam around the only available 4 feet of floor space in circles for about 8 minutes in a moment of being totally lost, so be it.

2. Do not complain about someone's smell unless you've smelt yourself first.

3. If someone is in charge of a task, do not micromanage them. I have to say I'm pretty damn good at this one. Mr. Rant, on the other hand, is the micromanaging queen of the world. It's a part of his charm.

4. Have sex. I don't care if it is on a box. Someone should get laid during a time like this.

5. Remember that a possible zombie invasion is not a good excuse for keeping old crap that needs to be thrown out.

6. Less girliness ladies! Men can hardly handle it on a normal day. It's more than enough to push them over the edge in the midst of choas. Now if that was what you were going for, bring on the pink!

7. If someone is on the phone with a company, do not attempt to find out what is happening and/or start having your own imaginary conversation with the idiot the other person is talking to. I, for one, can not help but do this. I infuriate Mr. Rant as I am always wrong about what is happening on the other end and get way too riled up. What can I say, it's part of my charm.

8. Should someone have a mini meltdown, stay calm. This is normal with moves. Hell, I just had one this morning.

9. If you are the one who had the meltdown, apologize immediately if not sooner. Said it already but sorry Mr. Rant!

10. If all hell breaks lose, build a box fort and have a picnic. Humor can get you though just about anything.

VLOG: Chaos Personified

Sorry for the lame low sound. You can hear it better with headphones. I need to get myself a new webcam... 

They Took My Couch

Mommy and newborn napping on the couch

You all know I'm moving. I have been annoying you with the details for months now. This evening it really hit that life is moving forward and time is passing.

I gave my couch to my maid. I'm sure all of you are thinking "And?" The thing is that it was mine and Mr. Rant's first big purchase together, apart from the first apartment we bought.

That sofa supported us through many stages of life. It was the fabulously comfortable pull out my first American visitors slept on during my pregnancy with The Chatterbox. It stayed a pull out bed in our tiny living room for the first 3 months of The Chatterbox's life as we used it as our daytime bed/nighttime nursing spot.

We moved it with us to our new bigger place. It became the playroom couch. It's where The Menace laid as I played with the toddler version of The Chatterbox. It was my parent's bed, as well as anyone else who stayed here. And it managed to stay the same obnoxiously bright orange throughout chocolate milk spills, tent making, playing, movie watching, and guests.

Seeing it taken apart and leaving my place made me nostalgic. I felt myself saying goodbye to a piece of furniture that reminded me of the new adult Rachel, the new Mom Rachel, and the I hate this big freaking orange sofa Rachel.

I saw my skinny and hardly pregnant butt de-virginizing it upon it's arrival to our place. I can still remember the comfort of sitting on that sofa, over the old futon that it replaced, as my ass widened and my belly grew. It was where I was laying when my breast milk came it. I'm pretty sure there's still some in the cushions as I was a milk cow. It was the first important piece of furniture The Chatterbox peed all over as an infant, but definitely not the last.

Seeing it leave my place made me realize how far I have come from the girl that bought it. It's hard to say goodbye to her as I am quite fond of her sassy ways. And while I am looking forward to having a real "adult" apartment with planned and matching furniture, I look back fondly on the process of the first time furnishing a home. There is so much pride in your pieced together room, an appreciation we have a tendency of losing over time. Things just become things that can easily be thrown away. But when you are starting out and struggling to piece together a life you see the character behind the story of each item. I am going to miss that.

I will be following this with a ridiculous montage of photos of said couch in respect to our daily life. Enjoy:

Baby Chatterbox with his pet spoon and couch. Yes, he had a pet spoon. 

Playing hairdresser/dress up with Mommy in front of couch

Annoying napping Tio (uncle) with a friend as he napped on couch

The Menace chilling with Batman in a tent made on couch 

Do you have/had a piece of furniture that holds memories like this? If so, do tell! 

Hoarder's Anonymous

We are preparing for our move to the smaller apartment. I'm really excited about living there, just not about getting all our crap out of here.

So now I have a math equation for you:

If a woman has managed to fit 400 square meters of utter crap into a 130 square meter apartment, how does she then manage to pack and contain all that in an 80 square metered apartment?

The Answer:

Throw crap out! We are having a cleaning, hoarder's anonymous, purging of the home all week long. This will be the time where I will open the junk draw and actually be honest with myself. There will never be a moment where I will really wish that I had kept the finger flashlights or those broken crayons. I am not going to miss the wrinkled pizza restaurant slips nor is there an actual emotional attachment to the ticket stubs from some bad random movie.

This stuff is going into... gasp... the recycling bin.

Now don't get too scared for me. I have already sent a Tupperware, large enough to fit Mr. Rant, full of his crap to the in-law's house. As they were the ones to encourage his collecting of CDs and comic books, they can house them.

It's 80 some odd square meters of living space which means there is only about 20 left for actual stuff.

And this isn't the real challenge. The real challenge will be me keeping that little place organized and free of clutter. I'm going to be honest, I am horribly lazy when it comes to organizing crap. I just can't be bothered, and I'm even a Virgo. So stuff that in your face astrologers. I prefer living in organized chaos.

But in the best interest of my children, I am going to reform.

So here goes the first week of the rest of my life cleaning up and organizing my crap. Maybe you should be scared for me...


This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

List of necessities for Ex-Pats of Brazil

I wrote a smallish post on what to bring/how to be prepared for your move to Brazil.  I received a lot of great advice and comments from other bloggers/readers.  Check out the original post here:  Moving to Brazil? Some things to know

Anyway, I wanted to make an updated version in list form. The list is short and basic now. I hope all of you out there will help out again!  Let's help the future ex-Pats of Brazil!

Things to bring:

for Kids:

monitor

stroller

thermometer

vitamins

toys

clothes

car seat

gear in general

General:

vitamins

floss

zip lock baggies

rechargeable batteries

books

Mattress and box springs

Kitchen appliances - ie. blenders, toaster, etc

electronics - choose carefully and make sure they will work here

Moving to Brazil? Some things to know

I got an email from an American Mom of a toddler who's moving to Rio de Janeiro.  It got me thinking of tips.  What does the American Mom moving to Rio with their pre-schooler/toddler/baby need to know?

First off, bring toys!  Pay the extra baggage cost and stuff a suitcase full. Better yet, buy a container and fill her up!  The good quality toys that we are accustomed to buying for $30 are R$150 to $300.  Buy some for the next age group or next bday just to cover your toosh. And have no shame in buying toys online and having them delivered to relatives or family who are coming to visit.

Bring clothes. Kids clothes are also expensive and are not the same quality.  This stands for all seasons except summer. Summer is HOT down here and I prefer Brazilian made summer clothes. They are a made of a much lighter cotton.

Bring some of your little guy's favorite snacks. When you travel, it's always an adjustment. For example, you can get something called honey ohs here but you can't get Cheerios. They taste different.  Bring some extra to help cushion the change.

Be prepared to cook from scratch.  If you or your little one have any  sort of special diet, look into it now. You can find a lot of stuff down here but there are some little things you may have wished you brought. For example, if you or your kid has Celiac disease (Gluten allergy), a friend of mine told me there's an ingredient you need to make your own bread that is difficult to find here.  While I'm helpful, I'm not that helpful because I can't remember what it is for the life of me.  Side note, in Brazil, all food products have to say with Gluten or Gluten free.  Makes things a lot easier.

If you or your little one use a certain medication or homeopath medication, bring extra until you can find it or the equivalent here.

If you are a stroller user, make sure you have one that can handle going up and down curbs and over bumps. We have a lot in Rio.

That reminds me, bring baby gear. Make sure your car seat will work for a while, bring a breast pump or monitor, bouncer, swing, anything and everything you plan on using.  We have it here but, again, it's expensive and you don't get the variety of choices you have at home.

Bring books and think about getting a magazine subscription. You can get some choice magazine subscriptions sent to your home in Rio. It's amazing what a favorite magazine or good book can do for homesickness.  http://www.amazon.com/International-Magazines-Subscriptions/b?ie=UTF8&node=602346

Bring your blender, sandwich maker, food processor, or any kitchen appliance you love.  Bring it!  I brought my blender/food processor. I love it and I use it all the time!  I replaced the crappy plastic one I had bought here.

Get maid recommendations from other ex-pats or Brazilian friends.  A maid can make a lifetime of a difference even if they only come once a week.  This city is surprisingly dusty and mold grows like crazy!  A good maid can keep everything under control so you don't go nuts trying to do it yourself. And be prepared. You will get used to a whole new level of clean! I swear, in some apartments you could do surgery.  Plus your maid can cook some food for you and your family. My maid, Soccorro, comes twice a week. She cooks a meal both days and makes backup black beans that I store in my freezer and take out when I need them.

That's all that I can get out of my exhausted Mommy head at the moment. What tips do you ex-pats in Brazil have?  What questions do you future ex-pats of Brazil have?