Brazilian Nannies Realize Their Power

Nannies are a fact of life in Brazil and they are starting to realize the power in that. That's why it didn't surprise me too much to see an article about it in the New York Times.

While the article was based in São Paulo, I'll tell you that nanny prices are going up here in Rio de Janeiro. Things have changed quite a bit in the 4.5 yrs it's been since I had my oldest. I have seen friends fire their nannies (who were actually more my friends than the Mothers seeing that they were the ones who I met up with at the park) over money and time off.

Every once in a while you'll see the Mothers stomping into the playground with a new baba (nanny) in tow. You can just see the joy written all over their face.

One woman openly complained about her recently fired nanny's request for a R$400 a month raise and weekends off. The nerve of her! Seriously, she actually said that, the nerve of her. Let's look at the facts for a minute:

1. The daughter was 2 at that point and the nanny had raised her from birth. She stayed in the hospital with the Mother post delivery!
2. For 2 years the nanny stayed at the home 24hrs a day except for Sundays. She was allowed to leave at 10am on Sunday morning and had to be back Monday at 8am, and they were not pleased about giving her that.
3. She was making R$800 a month for all this.

Personally, I was rooting for the nanny and I told this friend that. At that moment the going rate had gone up to R$1200 for nannies and full time maids up to R$800. It's not cheap to have full time help and it shouldn't be.  Maids and nannies are taking care of your home. Hell, nannies are raising your children! I do believe this goes under one of the things you don't skimp on in life.

If it pisses you off that much, maybe you should raise your own children. Working parents can put them into school full time and be there in the evening to pick them up. Be the one to give them their dinner, bath, and put them to bed. And no, you won't be able to go out and see that movie because you don't have a live-in babysitter. Suck it up! It's called being a parent.

By the way, the nanny I mentioned found a new job right away with the pay and time off she deserved. The Mother put her daughter into full time school and expected the maid to do the rest.

On a side note, you should read the article. It's hilarious to read about women complaining that middle class families can not afford nannies. One woman even referred to the nannies as mafia, as she picked her child up from a private school. I'm amazed by the feeling of entitlement people have here when it comes to cheap labor. Do they really not realize that they are attempting to hold another person down?

The Nanny Culture

I live in a Nanny culture. Middle and upper class Brazilians are very accustomed to having this extra help. Much of the time, the nanny is the full time maid who babysits when it's needed. Let's be honest, how much work does a maid have in an apartment that's smaller than a McDonalds.

What kills me are the weekend Nannies! Since I'm not super opinionated, just a smidgen, I'll give license to the parents who do hang with the kids on the weekends and just bring the nanny with them for an extra hand. Hell, I'd love that for myself!

What gets me are the weekend nannies hanging around sans parents.  I'm not talking occasionally either. I can name at least 4 little kids at from neighborhood park who cruise Nanny-style every weekend.

I got the opportunity to chat with one of these weekend nannies one day at the park. You see, I already knew the children and the weekday nanny from said park and chatting started as the kids played.  I finally got up the nerve to ask where the parents where. I mean, it was 10 am on a Saturday!

I was very seriously informed that 'both parents are very important doctors. They work very hard.'

I see. Doctors are on-call normally. It's a stressful job. I totally get it.

That's when she added, 'so they need their rest during the weekend.'

What?

Apparently they did not work weekends nor were they ever really on-call.  But they worked hard all week so they preferred to have a drink on Friday and sleep in/rest on Saturdays.

Did they not get the memo that you need the sleep deprivation patch in order to be considered honorary parents?

And it doesn't stop even close to there. I actually had a student, the one who offered me a job, tell me that I needed to go after a career for myself. He was worried about me.  Plus his children were raised by nannies and turned out just fine.

Fair enough, but here's the thing, I did not have children to hire someone to raise them! I get daycare. I get needing to make a living. I TOTALLY get needing a night out every week.  But to have someone literally raise your children? No, you do not get to have your cake and eat it too!

Before you get me wrong, my outrage isn't because I don't get the sleep/freedom/free time.  It's not even because I think the kids are not being raised right. You get yourself a good nanny down here and she's capable of schooling any mother upside down and sideways.  It's the family, the life, and love that both parents and kids are missing out on.

I highly believe that half the parenting happens while soothing a sick child as they vomit on you. I think you bond as you play soccer or tell them NO.  We grow up together, the kids absorbing the little cool the parents have left and the parents becoming warn down grandparents with stories to tell.

It's not easy being a parent and I can see how these new ones with nannies get sucked into handing the baby over to "better" care. I can't even tell you how many times I've seen a nanny take a small baby out of Mommy's hands because baby is fussing. Honestly, the reason I don't have one is because she would have been bitch slapped at that exact moment and I would have been sued.

All this being said, I know a countless number of families who have the help and are just as involved as I am. Of course they have washed hair, manicured nails, and can afford fat pants instead of dieting.

And to top it all off with a generalized cherry, I was once told that I don't like help because I'm too American. We Americans are overly accustomed to doing things ourselves and can't manage to delegate tasks to the help.

Well, that sounds a hell of a lot better than my being annoyed by sharing my 2 foot box called an apartment with yet another person because THIS American is used to homes with space!

Personally, it comes down to wanting to do it myself with my boys. I want to be the one running around with them.  Plus, I feel lost with absolutely no housework. I don't think it's good that my attention is only on the kids and the kids have no chores themselves.  That being said, I feel a maid twice a week does no harm at all. And you know what, you can't convince me otherwise!